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Hippy Snob Poo

Bizarro is brought to you today by Friends Don’t Let Friends Paint Drunk.

These three recent cartoons proved a little challenging to a few readers, so I shall now set about to throw some elucidation on the situation.

One reader was confused by the term “The Man.” If you were not alive in the U.S. in the 1960s and have carefully avoided absorbing any information about the dreaded “hippy” movement, you may not be aware that “the man” was a term used to refer to anyone in authority: police, government officials, corporate executives, etc. In short, “the man” equals “the establishment.” (Note to sticklers: This use of the term actually goes back much further than this, but that has nothing to do with this cartoon.) (more…)

Sales Pregnant Pigeon Egg

Bizarro is brought to you today by Humpty Piraro.

I must admit that I don’t know diddly squat, but I do know how to draw a couple of goobers who might be named Diddly and Squat. How cool would it be to be named “Bob Squat”? Maybe not cool, but hilarious.

I have an abnormal affinity for funny names, both real and imagined. When I was a teenager in the 1970s, I knew a guy whose last name was Creitz. (Rhymes with “frights”.) He always said that if he had a son, he would name him Jesus. I still laugh about that. One of my favorite funny names is a character on 30 Rock called Dr. Spaceman. What’s funny about it is that it is pronounced, spa-CHAY-man. It’s one of my favorite phony comedy names ever. (more…)

Holly Would, Would I?

Bizarro is brought to you today by Simple Logic.

I’ve been thinking about things lately––by “lately,” I mean in the past few minutes––and I’ve decided to move to Los Angeles. The weather is much nicer than NY’s, the beach is nicer than Coney Island, I’ll save tons on bronzer because I’ll actually see the sun when I go outside, and it’s a much better place to be a movie star. (more…)

Environmental Bird Poo Pundit

Bizarro is brought to you today by Not My Lunch.

When drawing this cartoon I was looking on the Interwebs for reference for a Smart Car and found a picture of one that had actually been converted into one of these big-wheel beasts. Of course. I should have known someone would. How much did they spend? Was it worth it? Does he get paid for showing up places with it? Is there a point to it other than to own something weird? Not judging, just wondering. (more…)

Ears, Apes, Magic, Poker

Bizarro is brought to you today by When Do They Drive?

Anyone with a roommate – be they married, shacking up, related, or just sharing the rent – will want a pair of removable ears. They are still in the developmental stage, but I hope to have them on the market by late next year. The perfect gift for anyone of any age. We all have someone who’s voice grates like a chainsaw through sheet metal. (more…)

Hindus or Whatever

Bizarro is brought to you today by Signs of Intelligent Life.

A Bizarro reader wrote to me recently suggesting something about a BBQ that pointed out the difference between Old West Indians and “real” Indians from India. That sparked this idea, which I like a lot. It has the element of the unexpected right in the last word of the dialogue, which is the best place for it. I know this because I am a cartoonist. (more…)

Prescription Giraffe Souls

(For a larger view of this cartoon, click the cop’s handcuffs.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creation.

If you like cartoons I have good news: here are three of them. If you don’t like cartoons, I have equally good news: there are literally dozens of other web sites that do not feature them. The choice is yours, my friend. (more…)

Shower Willies for Trump

Bizarro is brought to you today by Zach Galifianakis in Disguise on the Subway.

As readers of this blog know, I’m no friend to the current epidemic of so-called “reality” shows. Nor prime-time game shows which are often the same thing. Give me actors, scripts, stories and creativity any day. And, because I’m a human being with a normal tolerance for repulsiveness, I’m not a fan of Donald Trump, either. Just drawing this caricature of him (and I’m pretty proud of the result, given that caricaturism is a specific art form of which I am not greatly experienced) gave me a major case of the willies. What a creepy human he is, on so, so many levels. (more…)

Monkey Shines for the Lord

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gorgeous Surfaces.

Today’s offering is a fun little ditty about the power of creative thinking. This is one of my buddy Wayno‘s concoctions that was inspired by one I did a few months back. These chimps are very time consuming to draw and I’m a super-busy, super-important big shot, so I plopped this image together on computer using elements from the earlier cartoon. I still had to redraw certain elements fairly extensively, but using some of the older cartoon saved me a lot of time. Which I used to do super-important things. Cartoonists do this sort of thing all the time but they rarely admit it. But you and I have no secrets, so I’m copping to it without hesitation. (more…)

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