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Hindus or Whatever

Bizarro is brought to you today by Signs of Intelligent Life.

A Bizarro reader wrote to me recently suggesting something about a BBQ that pointed out the difference between Old West Indians and “real” Indians from India. That sparked this idea, which I like a lot. It has the element of the unexpected right in the last word of the dialogue, which is the best place for it. I know this because I am a cartoonist. (more…)

Prescription Giraffe Souls

(For a larger view of this cartoon, click the cop’s handcuffs.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creation.

If you like cartoons I have good news: here are three of them. If you don’t like cartoons, I have equally good news: there are literally dozens of other web sites that do not feature them. The choice is yours, my friend. (more…)

Shower Willies for Trump

Bizarro is brought to you today by Zach Galifianakis in Disguise on the Subway.

As readers of this blog know, I’m no friend to the current epidemic of so-called “reality” shows. Nor prime-time game shows which are often the same thing. Give me actors, scripts, stories and creativity any day. And, because I’m a human being with a normal tolerance for repulsiveness, I’m not a fan of Donald Trump, either. Just drawing this caricature of him (and I’m pretty proud of the result, given that caricaturism is a specific art form of which I am not greatly experienced) gave me a major case of the willies. What a creepy human he is, on so, so many levels. (more…)

Monkey Shines for the Lord

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gorgeous Surfaces.

Today’s offering is a fun little ditty about the power of creative thinking. This is one of my buddy Wayno‘s concoctions that was inspired by one I did a few months back. These chimps are very time consuming to draw and I’m a super-busy, super-important big shot, so I plopped this image together on computer using elements from the earlier cartoon. I still had to redraw certain elements fairly extensively, but using some of the older cartoon saved me a lot of time. Which I used to do super-important things. Cartoonists do this sort of thing all the time but they rarely admit it. But you and I have no secrets, so I’m copping to it without hesitation. (more…)

Get Your Ruin On

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hot TV Actress from the 60s!

Most readers were hep to my jive this Sunday but if you were confused by this cartoon, simply visit the stores from left to right: get drunk, buy a gun, rob a jewelry store, need a bail bondsman. The signage on the roof is an homage to the cartoonist who most influenced my work in my youth, B. Kliban. If you don’t know his work, find a copy of this book. You’ll thank me. (more…)

Cat Crush

Bizarro is brought to you today by My First TV Crush.

Yesterday, I got an email from Julie Newmar, the original Catwoman from the Batman TV series of the 60s. Reading it, my heart was all aflutter, even after all these years. I was only 9 years old when I first saw her and fell hopelessly under her spell. The message was strong if ambiguous, given my tender age: I was heterosexual and I wanted Julie Newmar to teach me what that meant. Not long after, I saw her as Stupefyin’ Jones in the musical version of Lil Abner. Yowza! (more…)

Picture Parade

Bizarro is brought to you today by Docents.

Plenty of cartoons again today in a desperate effort to catch you up to date. This first one is from my amazingly sexy and talented colleague, Wayno! He knows how much I despise b*llshit (did I put the * in the right place?) conceptual art so I like to imagine he wrote this gag just for me. To read his story about the process, click the funny elf. Funny Elf. (more…)

>Cat Diary

>

(Click the word “click” for a larger image!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Valentine Wishes.

I don’t often do sequential jokes but here is one now. Just look a couple of inches above where you are looking now. I don’t have a lot to say about it, so let’s talk about something else.

Did you ever get one of those emails that has been going around for ten years or so about the cat and dog diary? I’ve gotten it many times over the years, it’s one of those email jokes that just goes around and around. Well, the fun thing is that it started with one of my cartoons.

I wrote “Finding the Cat’s Diary” in 1995 and sometime shortly after, people began altering and adding to it to create the email joke. It’s now become something of a meme, which I must admit I think is kind of cool. It doesn’t mean fame or fortune – I don’t get royalties on its use or even credited for the original idea – it just means that I created something that got into people’s heads enough that it was passed virally to enough folks that it became generally well known. Creative people like that kind of thing.

If you Google “pet diary” or “cat diary,” you’ll come across dozens of sites that post variations of this theme, featuring diaries by a cat and a dog, most of which start with a few lines from this cartoon. A guy named Allen Roland even took credit for writing it on a Salon.com blog. Kind of lame. It has ended up on some products, too, for which I could likely sue. Hmmm.

I’m also proud of it because I think it’s a particularly good cartoon. Hope you like it, too. If you don’t, just keep it to yourself. Like most people outside of politics, I’m capable of both pride and hurt feelings.

Get groovy schwag with these cartoons on them here:
Cat Diary
Remote Control

>More Snake!

>Snakemommy wrote back and provided me with this scintillating video of Louise the Burmese Python jumping through a hoop, just like in the cartoon. If you missed the beginning of this story, check out my previous post! Thanks, Snakemommy!

She also reminded me that this was Louise’s second appearance on my blog. Here is the first.

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