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Moving Sucks

Bizarro 03-01-15HedrWEBBizarro 03-01-15 WEB(Make any cartoon oh-so-much bigger with a single click of your thingamajigger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Priorities.

Dang, Jazz Pickles, it’s been a momentous week for this cartoon cobbler as I single-handedly (with the help of three big guys with a huge truck) moved Bizarro International Headquarters from Los Angeles to Pasadena. Nothing recommends the life of a Buddhist monk more than packing and moving. Like most people, every time I move I admonish myself for having so damned much stuff, but then I realize that if an apocalypse of some sort should befall us and there is suddenly a great shortage of boxes full of useless crap, I’ll be sitting pretty. So there’s that.
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Big Fat Scum Bear

bz panel 11-02-13bz strip 11-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Most Inspirational Art You May Ever See.

I’ve been a bad Jazz Pickle in Chief lately. I forgot to post this cartoon from last Saturday and I’m already two days behind on this week’s. Things have been chaotic and very busy at Bizarro International Headquarters lately. Please accept my apology, I hope it has not negatively affected your Jazz Pickle experience. (more…)

Hit Gravity Poison Purr Lust Poop

Bizarro is brought to you today  by My Magazine Cover Shot.

Again, I’ve only managed to post once this week. Things are getting away from me here at Bizarro International Headquarters.

Let’s review the week: Our first cartoon is a great pickup line for the next time you see someone attractive on an elevator. Please use it with my blessing and let me know how it turns out. (more…)

Pet Parking Eunuch Humping Loaf

Bizarro is brought to you today by Parenting.

I took some time off to travel but am happy to be back in my captain’s chair here at Bizarro International Headquarters.

Accordingly, here are a passel of cartoons to catch you up to date. First up is a cartoon that proved popular among readers. Personally, I never use my first pet’s name as a security question because, although I loved the dog, I never liked her name: “Penny.” I don’t have anything against the name per se, but my older sister picked it and so it seemed feminine to me. I was rooting for “Spike” or “Killer.” She looked not unlike the dog in this cartoon, except that her spots were brown. Like you care. (more…)

Nutty Mom Mob Mutt

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bottomless Legume With Strange Codpiece.

It’s been a rough week here at Bizarro International Headquarters but we’ll make it through somehow. Are any of you Jazz Pickles coming to my comedy shows next week? You have a wide assortment of choices, including Thursday’s show, Friday’s show, and Saturday’s show. I want to see you there so badly I can taste it. And it doesn’t taste good, I can tell you. (more…)

Last Post Before Certain Death

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hurricane Irene.

Bizarro Headquarters in Brooklyn is directly in the path of Hurricane Irene today. It should hit us around sunset tonight and last into tomorrow. Much of the city has been evacuated but BzH is on high-enough ground that we have been spared. So here we sit with flashlights, safety goggles, helmets, snorkle gear, fresh water, canned food, cigars, scotch, two laptops with fully-charged batteries  and a stack of DVDs. (more…)

Hell on Earth in a Can

Bizarro is brought to you today by Wheel of Fortune Reject.

Here at Bizarro Headquarters, CHNW and I have had day after week after month of new cans of worms. We were in LA on business about six weeks ago and she got a phone call from Florida saying her (previously completely healthy) dad had just arrived at the hospital in an ambulance and might not survive. (He’d gotten a wicked infection that he mistook for muscular backache and didn’t treat until it reached his brain and rendered him unconscious!) I had to stay in LA for the week to make my meetings, but she jumped the next plane and rushed to his side. I had to return to NYC to get back to my deadline schedule and was unable to join her. One complication led to another for the next six weeks and she just got home yesterday. I’m happy to say that pop-in-law is fine and will be going home any day now. But man, what a month and a half it has been! More worms than we knew what to do with and a truckload of cans for recycling. (more…)

Home Again

Bizarro is brought to you today by Homemade Father’s Day Gifts.

It’s been a long ten days since I was here at Bizarro International Headquarters working on my blog. Ah, sweet reunion. Following are the cartoons I missed posting, for your infotainment. (Wow. “Infotainment” is not flagged by WordPress as being misspelled.)

I’ll be back to my regular blogging verbosity in the coming days. Come on back, y’hear? (more…)

Religion Again?

Bizarro is brought to you today by Keeping the Faith.

I hope everyone here in the U.S. had a lovely holiday weekend, and that everyone elsewhere had a lovely weekend in spite of its lack of holidayness. I did what I often do on holidays: stayed home and worked. The Bizarro factory is woefully understaffed and is required to keep cranking out silly drawings no matter the occasion, so if I’m not here supervising it just doesn’t get done. Thank goodness for the foreign orphans I hold captive in my basement working round the clock on this stuff or I’d never get it all done. Thanks, kids! (not that any of them can read this blog) (more…)

Bizarro Art Show

I’ll be absent from Bizarro International Headquarters next week because I’ll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma to visit family, record some music, and attend the opening of a cartoon art show of my work. If you’re around, come see me. If you mention that you found out about it on this blog, you’ll get in FREE! – along with anyone else who happens by because it is a free event. (more…)

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