Bible times were hilarious. I should know, I was raised in Oklahoma, the prong of the buckle of the Bible Belt, and a state that has done everything in its power to maintain the atmosphere of the Old Testament well into the 21st century. In small ways they’ve progressed a bit since I was a teenager there, but when I was growing up in Oklahoma, anyone who did not wear the local “uniform” was treated much like poor Kevin of Jericho above. In those days––the early 1970s––the local uniform was a mullet and some form of Confederate flag. Basically, you had to look like a roadie for Lynyrd Skynyrd to keep from being called a “faggot” by strangers on the street, which happened to me weekly, often more than once. I didn’t let it get to me, though. I simply became a widely known satirist and made a living making fun of them in ways they didn’t understand. (more…)
This sawmill cartoon is a bit on the fringe so don’t be too hard on yourself if it made you scratch your head.
Sometime after 9/11 (the infamously tragic one, not the one two months ago) the New York City Metropolitan Transit Agency (the folks that run the buses and subways) started a public safety campaign urging citizens to report suspicious behavior with the slogan, “If you see something, say something”. The campaign was later adopted by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and used nationally. A longtime Bizarro Jazz Pickle suggested turning the phrase to what is displayed on the sign above. It made me chuckle, so I turned it into this cartoon. As a tip of the hat to the contributor, I named the sawmill after him. (more…)
Wow, what a week, Jazz Pickles. First, let’s discuss today’s Sunday cartoon, shown above. As a residence of the Los Angeles area for the past five years, traffic is always on my mind. This is a place with too many cars, which is why my beloved Olive Oyl (O2) and I ride motorcycles whenever we can. California is the only state where it is legal to ride between lanes and in LA traffic, it is often the only way to get home from the grocery store before tomorrow. (more…)
You’re going to want to embiggenate today’s pet shop cartoon because it has 8 secret symbols and six or seven small background jokes that have been specially formulated to curl the edges of your mouth upward. (more…)
This is the second cartoon I’ve done recently about large, lumpy surgical masks. (Here is the other.) Sometimes when I’m gag writing I think of a joke that leads to another similar one. If they are different enough, I’ll use them both. A few times in the past, I’ve challenged myself to come up with enough jokes on a particular topic to run an entire week. I did that once in 2002 with dry cleaner gags, shown below. One of my favorite aspects of this series was the signs in each gag about what happens to customers’ clothes left too long. You’ll need to click each one to temporarily embiggenate it so you can read those signs. (more…)
As you likely know, those “street view” images you can find online of just about any address in the civilized world are taken from contraptions attached to the tops of cars that just drive all over the world taking pictures of everything they pass. Some famously funny things have been captured by those pictures and they just lie quietly in wait on the Interwebs until people begin discovering them and spreading the word. There are gobs of pages dedicated to the funniest, strangest, most tragic things captured on Google Street View, which you can find by, of course, googling the topic. (more…)
The “farm to table” movement is one that big city hipsters have been concerned about in recent years; I have no idea how it’s playing in small towns or rural areas. You can read the definition of it here. I think it’s a good thing because it favors local growers and small farms and businesses who care more about their process and products than do the practitioners of the industrial food complex that America has built since WWII. The industrial way of growing plants and animals for food has been a nightmare for human health, the environment, and the treatment of animals. Michael Pollan has had a lot of important things to say about our food system in recent years, in my opinion. So all I did here was take it to an absurd extreme, which gave me a chance to draw some realistic crops and chickens on a dining room table. In my early adulthood I made a living drawing realistic food products for advertising, so this was kind of a nostalgic process for me. I did so much of that in the old days that I can actually draw things like this without any reference. (more…)
I often hear from readers that they “get” Bizarro cartoons when some around them do not. What better way to lord your superior intellect and sense of humor over the troglodytes around you than by wearing a highly groovy T-shirt that they won’t get either?
Here’s a stupid picture of me in the shirt, on sale ONLY UNTIL JULY 13, 2016! Grab one now before the philistines and boors take over the world and outlaw intelligent humor. (more…)
If you’re a person who is uncomfortable being honest about sex with your children, this cartoon is an excellent way to teach them about reproduction. It’s a bit more accurate than the old “stork” story, and in a court of law you could argue that it is technically true; babies come from inside the mother. Of course, if you do use this as a teaching tool for your children, prepare to be raising your grandchildren in a few years because their parents are still in middle school. (more…)
If you’ve ever lived with a person who habitually rescues animals, you get this cartoon. I think most people are compassionate to non-human animals but we each have our limits as to how much of our personal space and attention we’re willing to give to them. I used to hang out with a lot of animal rights activists (and lived with one for a while) whose homes were more like the petting zoo tent at the State Fair than what I would call a suitable human domicile. I have no doubt whatsoever that some of them would take in Bigfoot if the opportunity presented itself. No question. And they’d argue that BF was safer and happier as a prisoner of their small apartment than he would be in the wild. (more…)