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Cave Art

 

(Cause the below cartoon to embiggenate by tapping the big elephant.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Being Considerate.

Should you be having any trouble with understanding today’s cartoon, think about what cave dwellers typically painted and where they painted them. Then consider the definition of avant-garde. If you still don’t get it, go to the nearest window and jump out of it. But make sure it is on the ground level and that there is a soft place to land. No need to get overly dramatic about a cartoon, for crap’s sake.
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Dangerous Crops

(To begin the embiggenation process, click the gimme cap in the cartoon below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today Trump Voodoo Doll.

There was a time when people were romantic about America’s “heartland,” as though it was where good, wholesome, moral, honest folks came from, as opposed to “big city folk”.  But to my mind these days, it seems to represent people who voted for and continue to support a racist White House that openly promises to take benefits away from poor children, the elderly, the disabled, the disadvantaged-in-general, while arresting innocent children who were born in the U.S. and throwing them out of the country because their parents came here out of desperation to make a better life for themselves and their children. (Don’t even try to tell me the immigrant issue is about jobs because there are no facts to back that bullshit up. And if you think it’s not about racism or jobs, it’s about the “rule of law,” let’s audit your taxes for the last ten years and see how law-abiding you are.)
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All Natural

 

(To embiggenate, click on any foot or piece of footwear within any image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by What’s In That Pipe, George?

It’s a fun day for Bizarro Jazz Pickles. Not only are there TEN Secret Symbols to find in today’s comic (click it to embiggenate it and begin your search!) but I’ve created a fun, new T-shirt design that I think those of you with a touch of social courage and a certain opinion of overly-used, overly-cute images will enjoy tremendously.
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A Mile In My Shoes

(Make the below cartoon more embiggened by clicking the red helmet.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Striking Resemblances.

Remember when you were young and in a band and going to loud concerts and you ignored the advice of adults who warned you about protecting your hearing?  Well, as clueless and uncool as those decrepit geezers seemed, either they were correct or they cruelly cast a voodoo spell on you as punishment for ignoring their advice, and you can now only hear about 85% of the syllables people aim at you. Or at least, that’s what happened to me. It is for this reason that I stay away from skydiving and other activities during which a misunderstanding could result in my death.
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Flying Mammals

(To escape the cruelties of a reality without embiggenation, click the bat’s nose.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Not Jazz Pickles.

I’ve done a lot of cartoons about superheroes but they never possess the qualities that I loved about them as a kid: power, intelligence, strength, coolness, etc.  Somehow, I find it much more enjoyable to poke fun at them than to draw comics that glorify them as heroes.
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Canine Confessions

(Rather than just screaming EMBIGGENATE, DAMN YOU! try clicking on the image.)

There is some debate over whether dogs actually feel and understand guilt or if, over the many thousands of years they have lived alongside humans they have simply evolved to pretend to be contrite when we express anger. As much as I love dogs and want to attribute higher emotional and mental functions to them, I’ve come to believe it’s an act.
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Big Something

(The embiggenation of some of these images can be caused by clicking on them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by America’s Next President If I Have My Way.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Bigfoot lately, although I’ve no idea why. In the cartoon above, we see that Sasquatch belongs to a family in which each member has one oversized thing. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)
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Chasing Pants

(To embiggenate the cartoon below, strike it solidly in the middle with your cursor.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Running Apparel. 

If you are a person with at least one eye that works in the usual fashion and you have the average amount of observational skills, you may notice the difference between the cartoon I’ve posted above and the one that appeared in your local newspaper’s funnies today or at the top center spot on today’s Bizarro.com homepage. The one in newspapers and on Bizarro.com’s homepage is the one I submitted for publication four weeks ago––the one in this blog is one I took from my computer and posted here moments before I typed this sentence. Sometimes when I look at a cartoon four weeks later as I prepare to post it, I see a way to improve the gag in some small way and so I change it. That’s the reason for today’s change. I think this version sells the gag a little better than the original one. (I’ll tell you the difference at the end of this blog post in case you can’t spot it.)*
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Falling Sounds

(Your wish to embiggenate the cartoon below can be achieved by clicking the Northern White Cedar tree.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sexy Trees.

There have been many variations of the ancient philosophical question, “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?” This is, of course, an extremely anthropocentric question which ignores all of the other non-human ears in the forest, but that’s an issue for another forum.
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