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See Saw

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(To more fully enjoy these cartoons, I recommend clicking them for embiggenation.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Scary Things.

This sawmill cartoon is a bit on the fringe so don’t be too hard on yourself if it made you scratch your head.

Sometime after 9/11 (the infamously tragic one, not the one two months ago) the New York City Metropolitan Transit Agency (the folks that run the buses and subways) started a public safety campaign urging citizens to report suspicious behavior with the slogan, “If you see something, say something”. The campaign was later adopted by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and used nationally. A longtime Bizarro Jazz Pickle suggested turning the phrase to what is displayed on the sign above. It made me chuckle, so I turned it into this cartoon. As a tip of the hat to the contributor, I named the sawmill after him.
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Descent of Man

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(Any cartoon may be embiggenated by clicking any shadow in that image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Patterns.

Wow, what a week, Jazz Pickles. First, let’s discuss today’s Sunday cartoon, shown above. As a residence of the Los Angeles area for the past five years, traffic is always on my mind. This is a place with too many cars, which is why my beloved Olive Oyl (O2) and I ride motorcycles whenever we can. California is the only state where it is legal to ride between lanes and in LA traffic, it is often the only way to get home from the grocery store before tomorrow.
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Pet Shop Shenanigans

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(Colonel Firmstool, the Bizarro mascot dog shown above, wishes to remind you that a simple click to the hindquarters of any character in these cartoons will result in embiggenation.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Beauty and Grace of Synchronized Diving.

You’re going to want to embiggenate today’s pet shop cartoon because it has 8 secret symbols and six or seven small background jokes that have been specially formulated to curl the edges of your mouth upward.
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Feedbag

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(Click the pictures I have left here for greater embiggenation.)

NOTE: AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST ARE THE DETAILS OF TWO, FREE COMEDY TALKS I’M DOING THIS WEEK IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA! HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Times.

This is the second cartoon I’ve done recently about large, lumpy surgical masks. (Here is the other.) Sometimes when I’m gag writing I think of a joke that leads to another similar one. If they are different enough, I’ll use them both. A few times in the past, I’ve challenged myself to come up with enough jokes on a particular topic to run an entire week. I did that once in 2002 with dry cleaner gags, shown below. One of my favorite aspects of this series was the signs in each gag about what happens to customers’ clothes left too long. You’ll need to click each one to temporarily embiggenate it so you can read those signs.
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Drive By

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(Make any of these images embiggenated by arching your back and clicking on them.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Sneaking Up On A Glyptodon.

As you likely know, those “street view” images you can find online of just about any address in the civilized world are taken from contraptions attached to the tops of cars that just drive all over the world taking pictures of everything they pass. Some famously funny things have been captured by those pictures and they just lie quietly in wait on the Interwebs until people begin discovering them and spreading the word. There are gobs of pages dedicated to the funniest, strangest, most tragic things captured on Google Street View, which you can find by, of course, googling the topic.
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Dining with Dirt

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(To embiggenate any image in this post, click your favorite color in that cartoon.)
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Bizarro is brought to you today by Staying Cool.

The “farm to table” movement is one that big city hipsters have been concerned about in recent years; I have no idea how it’s playing in small towns or rural areas. You can read the definition of it here.  I think it’s a good thing because it favors local growers and small farms and businesses who care more about their process and products than do the practitioners of the industrial food complex that America has built since WWII. The industrial way of growing plants and animals for food has been a nightmare for human health, the environment, and the treatment of animals. Michael Pollan has had a lot of important things to say about our food system in recent years, in my opinion. So all I did here was take it to an absurd extreme, which gave me a chance to draw some realistic crops and chickens on a dining room table. In my early adulthood I made a living drawing realistic food products for advertising, so this was kind of a nostalgic process for me. I did so much of that in the old days that I can actually draw things like this without any reference.
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Bizarro Jazz Pickle T-shirt

I often hear from readers that they “get” Bizarro cartoons when some around them do not. What better way to lord your superior intellect and sense of humor over the troglodytes around you than by wearing a highly groovy T-shirt that they won’t get either?

Here’s a stupid picture of me in the shirt, on sale ONLY UNTIL JULY 13, 2016!  Grab one now before the philistines and boors take over the world and outlaw intelligent humor.
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Too Many Babies

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, hold down your breakfast and click any yellowish color thrice.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Click Bait of the Week.

If you’re a person who is uncomfortable being honest about sex with your children, this cartoon is an excellent way to teach them about reproduction. It’s a bit more accurate than the old “stork” story, and in a court of law you could argue that it is technically true; babies come from inside the mother. Of course, if you do use this as a teaching tool for your children, prepare to be raising your grandchildren in a few years because their parents are still in middle school.
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BigLove

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(For greater embiggenation, click any kind of fur in any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by When Animals Think We’re Not Looking.

If you’ve ever lived with a person who habitually rescues animals, you get this cartoon. I think most people are compassionate to non-human animals but we each have our limits as to how much of our personal space and attention we’re willing to give to them. I used to hang out with a lot of animal rights activists (and lived with one for a while) whose homes were more like the petting zoo tent at the State Fair than what I would call a suitable human domicile. I have no doubt whatsoever that some of them would take in Bigfoot if the opportunity presented itself. No question. And they’d argue that BF was safer and happier as a prisoner of their small apartment than he would be in the wild.
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New Bizarro T-Shirt!

Hey, Jazz Pickles! If you’re as disgusted by the behavior of some politicians as anyone not currently unconscious is, you might like this comic on a shirt. And if that’s the case, the link below will fix you up real good.

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There are four kinds and several colors of shirts available, and the two that are more pricy than the others are because they are organic cotton. They charge more these days for not ruining the planet as much.
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