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Bizarro Art Show

I’ll be absent from Bizarro International Headquarters next week because I’ll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma to visit family, record some music, and attend the opening of a cartoon art show of my work. If you’re around, come see me. If you mention that you found out about it on this blog, you’ll get in FREE! – along with anyone else who happens by because it is a free event. (more…)

Phones and Nuts

Bizarro is brought to you today by Baby T.

Someone wrote to ask if the Irish getup had anything to do with this smartphone gag. It doesn’t. It’s just that I needed an idiot to be left for a smarter owner by his smartphone and the cartoon was part of a batch scheduled to run during the week of St. Patrick’s Day, so I combined the two. This is not to say that all people who dress up for St. Pat’s are idiots (though who am I to say they are not?) but rather that there are plenty of idiots running around any given American city on St. Patrick’s Day, drinking excessively and wearing too much green. (more…)

Wishes

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Future.

Thanks for all the suggestions and comments about the new blog. “Opening links in a new window” was preferred nearly four to one, so that’s the way I’ll keep it. On my Mac, a quick “command,” “w” will close the new window and bring you right back to the blog page. I’m sure there’s something similarly easy on PCs. (more…)

Love, actuarially

Bizarro is brought to you today by Options.

Thanks for the comments on the new blog yesterday. A couple of people have made suggestions, I’d like to bounce them off of the general readership and find out what the consensus is.

1. Do you like it when links open up in the same window or a new window? Old blog was same window, this blog is new window. I can make it either way. (more…)

Huming

Bizarro is brought to you today by Heightened Security.

Welcome to my first post on my new blog site. There are lots of posts before this, but they were imported from my previous blog site by a genius Interwebs guru. Now that I’m trying to take over the reins myself, I’m having all kinds of trouble finding out where the buttons and levers are, so I hope this isn’t too much of a mess. Like most humans, I hate change. (more…)

>4 for Fun

>Bizarro is brought to you today by Walking Dead.

There is a change coming to this semi-daily blog, but it will be a change for the better and faithful readers will not be inconvenienced. I’m moving it over to WordPress to be part of a corral of King Features blogs or something like that. I’m not sure why, really, but my buddies at KF convinced me to do it so it’s moving soon. You’ll be able to find it easily and I’ll leave a link to it here, so don’t worry about it. More later. (more…)

>Crazy Couch

>Bizarro is brought to you today by Dog Walker.

Have you ever been up sh*t creek without a paddle? (I cleverly added the * to that word so that it would be family friendly. Everyone knows that children are no good at Wheel of Fortune.)

Of course you have, we all have. And the message of this cartoon is to pay more attention to your paddle than to your wardrobe. Of course, if you’re up sh*t creek without a paddle, this advice is useless. And if you’re out canoeing in one of those smiley face shirts, you deserve whatever you get because everybody hates those things. Unless you’re wearing it ironically, in which case you probably deserve to be visited by hillbillies, ala Deliverance. (Wow, that was bitter. I didn’t know until I typed this how much pent up aggression I have toward ironic shirts.)

This cartoon about light reading is a bit of nonsense with no particular message. Unless it would be that if you find yourself bored enough to read the ends of light bulbs over and over, it’s probably time to quit your job, leave your wife, and go on a violent odyssey of some sort, ala Going Native, by Stephen Wright. (One of my favorite books, but not written by the Steven Wright who is a stand-up comedian and not funny.)

As long as we’re discussing my damaged psyche, let’s take a quick visit to Sigmund’s Couch. I quite like this old cartoon from 1997, written and drawn two years after my divorce and the most therapy-intensive period of my life. Notice you can read “ID” on the sign above the door to rhyme with “bid,” which is a Freudian term! Hahahahahahah! Also notice that back then I was often drawing the cartoon outside the borders. I did it because I liked it, I stopped doing it for reasons unknown. Probably laziness.

Let’s hear it from all those readers who have enjoyed psychotherapy at some point in their lives. I only go when I’m really troubled, but I have to admit I love it. Something so soothing about talking about myself for 45 minutes without fear of interruption.

If you’d like to see these cartoons on various fine tidbits of merchandise, just click the ‘toon. It’s fun and painless!

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>Apple Knocker

>Bizarro is brought to you today by Those Darn Kids.

Our first cartoon today is another collaboration with my good buddy, Wayno. We’re both fans of Magritte and although I’ve done a couple of takes on his famous “This is Not a Pipe” painting, I thought this one was original enough to use the theme again. I might get a small version of this tattoo myself, someday. Here’s Wayno’s description of the experience.

My caveman cartoon was dreamed up by a good friend Cliff’s son, Emilio, so he got a byline. He and his dad were talking about knock knock jokes and surmised that cavemen wouldn’t be good at it since they didn’t have doors and would not know what a “knock” was. An odd idea and odd enough to inspire me to do a cartoon about it. Emilo’s younger brother, Nicco, wrote a cartoon for me a while back, too.

Know a goth couple who just had a kid? This is the perfect gift for them! You can find it and tons of other useful products with jillions of Bizarro cartoons on them by clicking this.

Comes in other colors, too! Wow!

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