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Driven

(Get into the whole embiggenation thing by clicking on the headlight of the red car.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Actual Fortune Tellers.

I’ve taken Uber or Lyft a few dozen times and with one exception, have always had a positive experience. The exception was in LA and the guy driving our car seemed friendly enough to Olive Oyl and me but was prone to honking at other drivers, cussing them out under his breath, and weaving through traffic to cut people off that he thought had offended him. His driving was such a stereotypical example of road rage that it seemed like a scene from a sit-com, but scary. (I once watched 8 minutes of an episode of Two and a Half Men and found it equally scary, but in a different way. Getting Charlie Sheen as your Uber driver would perhaps be a perfect storm. )
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Hot Crackers

(Embiggenation is within your reach with a simple click on the parrot’s cloaca.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Maybe If Your Business Is Pimping.

Olive Oyl and I are not big enough fans of technology to want one of those thingamajigs––whatever you call them––in our house, but we do like to appear to our friends to be “hip” and up-to-date, so I spray painted a tomato juice can black and put it on our coffee table. When our friends come over, I just casually say, “Alexa, take a nap for a few hours and don’t bother us while our visitors are here unless it’s an emergency.” So far no one is the wiser.
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A Mile In My Shoes

(Make the below cartoon more embiggened by clicking the red helmet.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Striking Resemblances.

Remember when you were young and in a band and going to loud concerts and you ignored the advice of adults who warned you about protecting your hearing?  Well, as clueless and uncool as those decrepit geezers seemed, either they were correct or they cruelly cast a voodoo spell on you as punishment for ignoring their advice, and you can now only hear about 85% of the syllables people aim at you. Or at least, that’s what happened to me. It is for this reason that I stay away from skydiving and other activities during which a misunderstanding could result in my death.
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Smell Test

(Make an embiggenated version by clicking any Egyptian hieroglyph.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Strangers in Disguises.

Regular readers of my Bizarro blog are familiar with a guy whom I call “Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay.” Wordplay and puns are the easiest and most common kind of humor and cartoonists have varying degrees of tolerance for the category. Some will use any pun, no matter how predictable or lame, some, as a matter of principle, won’t use any pun, no matter how fresh. For me, it’s all about surprise; if a pun or a bit of wordplay surprises me and I chuckle, I’ll use it. This one made me chuckle a lot when Cliff suggested it and it still does.
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Trimmings

(Be ye desirous of embiggenation, clicketh upon yon psychos henceforth.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Awkward First Dates.

I confess I’ve not actually seen the movie I referenced in this cartoon. I’ve long been fascinated by the imagery but haven’t the foggiest idea how a guy with 12 lbs. of blades growing out of his hands is explained in the movie. Since my joke is mostly just a satire of his name, it probably doesn’t matter if you’ve seen it or not.
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Scalp Art

(To achieve an embiggenated view of the male-pattern comedy below, click any nose in the drawing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Devolution.

Most of you Jazz Pickles are up to speed about what’s been happening at Rancho Bizarro lately but for those who are not––since January 1, I’m only writing and drawing the Sunday cartoons and my good friend and longtime collaborator, Wayno, is drawing the Monday through Saturday cartoons. We sometimes collaborate on the concepts for the weekday gags, but Wayno’s doing the heavy lifting (of pencils, pens, kneaded erasers, glasses of wine, etc.) With a little practice, you should be able to tell the difference between our drawing styles and our signatures. (Hint: his signature starts with a “W”)
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Savings

(One click of the stack of tires gets you an embiggenated view of Carl’s congregation.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Eyeball of Observation Spotted In My Neighborhood.

As I announced in last week’s cartoon rundown, I’ve just recently turned over my Monday-through-Saturday cartoons to my good friend and talented colleague, Wayno. He previously had a feature on GoComics called “WaynoVision,” which he retired to concentrate on Bizarro, but the archives are still viewable. The link to those is at the end of this post.
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Famous Liars

(Amusing details may become more evident with an embiggenating click of the images herein.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Lip Reader’s Nightmare.

I think it is fair to say that if the Orange Menace had the same biological syndrome as Pinocchio, Trump Tower could have been the world’s tallest structure made entirely of nose-sized logs. But enough about famous liars.
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Optical Collusion

(To make a whole big thing out of the cartoon below, click Picasso’s big toe.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Something To Do With Jesus, Possibly?

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot more time on fine art than I have in many years so this cartoon was a labor of love, to be certain. Escher and Picasso were both geniuses but at completely opposite ends of the art spectrum: Escher was first and foremost a draftsman whose precision was remarkable and at times breathtaking; Picasso was all about raw creativity expressed with passion instead of precision. I would guess they could appreciate each other’s talents but I found it easy to imagine a friendly put-down session––in the way that some men have of “busting each other’s balls” as a sign of affection.
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Pecker

(For an embiggenated version of the cartoon below, click the pig.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Christmas.

(Sung to the tune of “Old MacDonald”.)  Farmer Ahab had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on this farm he tried to harpoon a cute fluffy little baby peep, O-my-effing-god.  (Stop singing now and good luck trying to get that tune out of your head for the next several hours.)
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