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Cap’n Cleek

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Bizarro is brought to you today by High Speed Golf Cart.

I’ve often remarked that one reason pirates are so popular with cartoonists is that it is the only way we can do a cartoon about a disability without being buried under an avalanche of angry mail accusing us of being insensitive. If I published a cartoon about a one-legged old lady at the grocery store people would get pissed, but the same gag about a one-legged pirate is fair game. That doesn’t mean I’ve never gotten angry mail from a pirate cartoon. I got three very nasty letters about this cartoon, but it is noteworthy that none came from a disabled person; only people who felt sorry for disabled people and didn’t like them being made fun of. In contrast, that same cartoon garnered numerous letters of thanks from disabled people who reported that their sense of humor was an important tool in overcoming the hardships and inconveniences they’d faced. And I got one letter from a prosthetics company that wanted to put that cartoon on T-shirts to give out to their clients. I’ve often used that story to help guide me in deciding whether or not to do a cartoon like this.
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Mounted Head(r)

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*To embigenate an image, click on any solid object within that picture.

Bizarro has been brought to you today by Surrealism.

If you’re not familiar with surrealism or have heard of it but are not completely sure what it is, here is an explanation. Some would say that my cartoons are surreal because they typically illustrate very odd things happening to otherwise normal people, and they’d be right because that’s surrealism in a nutshell. For instance, today’s extra-wide-hootenanny-of-hilarity Sunday comic shows two men regarding a head of lettuce mounted on a wall. That’s not something one encounters on a daily basis. Another example of things not encountered diurnally is a mainstream, syndicated cartoon (Bizarro) that publishes cartoons on two subsequent Sundays that both feature heads of lettuce as their main subject. Search every Garfield cartoon back to the Middle Ages and if you don’t die from Repetitive Predictability Syndrome, you won’t find that.
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Mounted Head

(Use the embigennation feature* to find the hidden funny background stuff in these cartoons.)

*To embigenate an image, click on any solid object within that picture.

Bizarro has been brought to you today by Surrealism.

If you’re not familiar with surrealism or have heard of it but are not completely sure what it is, here is an explanation. Some would say that my cartoons are surreal because they typically illustrate very odd things happening to otherwise normal people, and they’d be right because that’s surrealism in a nutshell. For instance, today’s extra-wide-hootenanny-of-hilarity Sunday comic shows two men regarding a head of lettuce mounted on a wall. That’s not something one encounters on a daily basis. Another example of things not encountered diurnally is a mainstream, syndicated cartoon (Bizarro) that publishes cartoons on two subsequent Sundays that both feature heads of lettuce as their main subject. Search every Garfield cartoon back to the Middle Ages and if you don’t die from Repetitive Predictability Syndrome, you won’t find that.
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Lettuce Pray

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At this writing we are two days away from celebrating what may be America’s last birthday and that’s the reason for this patriotic cartoon. It might not seem patriotic at first, but consider this:

Scientific consensuses are rare but recent polls have shown that the overwhelming majority of science professionals agree that large-scale head transplant programs are America’s best hope of ever returning to something remotely resembling sanity. Accordingly, for the sake of our democracy,  I support experimental efforts like the one above. The sooner we perfect these procedures, the sooner we’ll get out of this nightmare.
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Ancient Legos

 

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Simple Explanations.

Stonehenge is one of those things that, by nature of its mystery, has been the subject of innumerable cartoons. I’ve done quite a few myself. Here’s one that springs to mind. And here’s another that is partly about Stonehenge.
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Giddyup

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Cowboy Cartoonist.

We have some friends who live on a ranch outside of our town here in Mexico and they bring us horseback riding from time to time. When I was a little boy, westerns were my favorite kind of TV shows and movies, and when I wasn’t drawing, playing cowboy was my favorite thing to do. And, up until I was probably six years old, the Old West was 90% of what I drew. As I grew up in Oklahoma and got old enough to know some real cowboys, I realized I didn’t fit in to their world very well so I never moved out to the country, raised cattle, or voted Republican, but I still love playing cowboy.
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Bat Eulogy

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Bat Trash.

As most regular readers of my blog and cartoons in general know, syndicated newspaper cartoons are submitted to our distributors (King Features in my case) four-to-six weeks ahead of publication. So when I wrote and drew this Batman-meets-vampire comic, I had no idea it would appear in newspapers worldwide the day after Adam West died. He was a talented actor who is most known for playing Batman in the 1960s “Batman” TV show. I was eight years old when the show first aired and it was instantly my favorite. Batman was my favorite super hero and my toys were as dominated by Batman as a 1980s kid’s were by Star Wars. (The photo beneath the “Bat Trash” link above is of one of them.)
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Painful Regrets

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Questionable Tattoo Choices.

Before we get to the subject of tattoos, let’s start here: Many readers are already aware of my “Secret Symbols,” but some are not. I place little icons in almost all of my cartoons and put a small number above my signature to tell you how many to look for. That number is usually 3 or under but today it is 18. For a full list of my Secret Symbols, click on those blue words you just saw a second ago. Yes, Al Hirschfeld used to do something like this and I got the idea partly from him and partly from those “find the hidden things in this picture” games in books and magazines for children.
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Priorities

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Then Vs. Now.

My weekly blog is three days late because I was traveling last week, culminating in a visit to the annual cartoonists convention which this year was in Portland, Oregon. A good time was had by all, and by “all” I mean Olive Oyl and myself. Other people seemed to be having a good time, too, but I can’t speak for them with any authority. Here is a picture of me with the great Bill Plympton. He seems to be thrilled to meet me, as one might expect.
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Winner

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Attention JAZZ PICKLES––> WANT TO MEET ME AND MORE THAN A DOZEN BIG-SHOT CARTOONISTS IN PERSON AT NO COST TO YOU? Come to the HILTON EXECUTIVE HOTEL IN DOWNTOWN PORTLAND at 1PM this coming SUNDAY, MAY 28, 2017!  It’s a totally free event open to the public, and we’ll be signing and selling books, drawing sketches, and giving discount haircuts with those tiny scissors that come on a Swiss Army knife. Hope to see you there! 

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