Bizarro is brought to you today by A Visit To A Town In Arkansas Called Flippin.Here’s an odd bit of punctuation fun. If you’re not familiar with punctuation and have never (or rarely) used it, it’s those little dots and dashes that sometime squeeze themselves in between words or hover magically above them. In this case, the little dash after the last “E” in Siamese is called a “comma” and changes the meaning of the caption. Without it, it would not be referring to a cat, which it is, but would instead lead one to believe I had used an outdated, non-PC term for conjoined twins. Which I have not. In spite of the impression your 7th grade English teacher gave you, punctuation can be fun.Way back last Monday I published this cartoon about mice. Part of what’s funny about it is that mice don’t wear clothes or enter the medical profession. At the risk of sounding immodest, I really like this little bait-and-switch optical illusion cartoon or whatever you want to call it. I think tiny people inside of desk intercoms are funny.For the most part, critics have been kind to me over the years. One key, of course, is that critics don’t critique cartoonists very often. The worst thing about critics, however, is that they feel they MUST say something negative, even in a positive review, to avoid the impression that they are ass-kissing. Lousy ones do little more than trash people.This witch/cop cartoon is another grammar-related thing, I guess. Some people think wordplay is lowbrow but I like it under certain circumstance. If you’ve ever had a chicken bone in your throat, this cartoon needs no explanation.This cartoon came to me as I was thinking about the story of Little Red Riding Hood. In the original story, as I recall, the wolf eats the grandma, nearly eats LRRH, then a woodsman shows up, cuts open the wolf and pulls the grandma out of its stomach thus saving her life. I think this is a terrible story to tell children because it inaccurately teaches them that wolves do not chew their food. (more…)
I’ve been on holiday for a couple weeks (SO rare for me!) and so now that I’m back at headquarters I feel as though I’ve been thrown from a speeding car onto a highway full of emails. Ugh.
Meanwhile, here are the cartoons that published while I was away and that I’ve not posted here yet.Breaking up is never fun, even when one of you is made of wood and plastic. Here’s another in my ongoing series of Sunday Punnies, which are puns that readers send to me and I figure out a funny way to illustrate them. Congrats to Dennis Barley, Kelly Cox, and Ed Saugstad for submitting this batch! Side note: The bunny in the title panel and at the top left of the Sunday Punnies is not the usual Bizarro Bunny, but her boyfriend, Sterphen. (That’s not a typo, that’s how he spells his name.) (more…)
I’m taking ten days off, Jazz Pickles. I was planning on creating some blog posts to run while I’m on holiday but I’ve been working my ass off to get my deadlines done and now I’m exhausted. I promise to catch up again when I get back after July 4th.
Bizarro is brought to you today by My Dad and Me in 1974.If you’re wondering what this gag is about, it may be because you don’t know that an Appaloosa is a popular breed of horse. I only know this because I watched a lot of westerns with my dad when I was a kid, which, from my perspective, makes this a good cartoon for Father’s Day. Over the years I’ve often put a “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!” message along the border of my cartoons for this day but in this case I was unaware it would be Father’s Day when this published (I’m required to submit Sunday cartoons many weeks ahead of the print date) so it didn’t happen. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Dad!I’m not normally jealous of the lives of cats, but when I see them sleeping I often wish I could be as comfortable as they obviously are. The key is flexibility, I think, and I’ve never been a flexible person. I’ve been taking yoga a few times a week now for nearly three years and though I’ve improved a LOT, I’m still not very flexible by human standards. Just genetically cursed in that regard, I think.This dental one is a goofy gag and a goofy drawing but it made me chuckle so I offer it to you. Sometimes goofy is just what I need. On a side note, “Gene” seems like a terribly “white” name, doesn’t it? I’m guessing there aren’t many black men named Gene.One of the things I enjoyed about the many westerns I watched as a kid was the seemingly magical ability of Indians to track people. I especially liked it when they would put their ear to the ground and tell you how many riders were coming and how close they were. What?! I’m guessing that was a Hollywood fabrication but maybe some people could actually do that, what do I know?I like this gag a lot because I’ve always thought that the “official” American attitude towards sex and nudity causes a lot more problems than it solves. Having been raised in such a sexually repressive and puritanical society, I find myself uncomfortable with it, too, but that doesn’t keep me from seeing how ridiculous it is. Like author Chris Ryan, PhD., (Sex at Dawn) I suspect that the societal sexual oppression of teenage boys is what causes a lot of misogyny and abuse of women. If teenagers (of both sexes) were allowed to experiment with sex with proper birth control and disease protection, but without the negative stigma of labels like “slut” and all the antiquated religious nonsense that we’ve whipped up over the centuries, people would be better adjusted and society would be subjected to less aberrant behavior. Just my humble opinion.I first submitted this cartoon back in the 2000s, during W. Bush’s presidency and amid his whirlwind of lies about Iraq. My editor at that time wouldn’t let me publish it because he said I couldn’t say, in effect, that the president was full of shit, as it would lead to cancellations in conservative markets. Times have changed, however, and this time the cartoon sailed through without so much as an eyebrow twitch. I don’t know if it is because liberals are much less sensitive to derision than their conservative counterparts (which I believe is true) or if it is just a less controversial notion that all politicians lie. Back then, many Americans were on a patriotic witchhunt for anyone not supporting the war, too, so that might have been part of it. The editor who made that decision passed away some years ago so I can’t ask him.My last offering this week is this lovely festival queen. No back story here, just a little giggle. (more…)
Today’s the last chance anyone will ever have to achieve ownership of this limited-edition T-shirt design that I made just for you. Imaginary studies have shown that if you read and enjoy Bizarro, you are 47% smarter than the average sheep, are 61% more likely to be an independent thinker, and are 72% less likely to accept statistics at face value. If that describes you or anyone you know, this shirt is for you. (Or them.) (more…)
I’m trying a new format today to see if it reduces some problems some folks have viewing this blog on various futuristic devices. Let me know if this is better or worse.
ALSO: Always remember that cartoon prints make affordable and classy gifts for yourself, friends, family, and enemies alike. Just find the image you want using the Bizarro.com calendar thing, and click the “buy prints” link below! (more…)
Hey, Seattle Jazz Pickles, go see my good buddy, Michael Capozzola’s stand-up comedy show tomorrow night. He’s very funny and you will laugh. Later, you’ll remember things he said and laugh again.
Official PR copy:
This Sunday in Seattle: it’s comedian Mike Capozzola’s show, “Emperor Ming’s Mercilessly Spicy Wings!”
He shines a Bat-Signal on superheroes, Star Wars, secret agents, werewolves and time travel, augmented with original comic and cartoon art including one that depicts Elektra skewing a zombie Sheldon Cooper…
As you regular readers of my work well know, I affectionately call regular readers of my work “Bizarro Jazz Pickles”. I can’t remember why, but that’s what I call you. To show my appreciation, (and to enable me to continue to offer all of my cartoons to you for FREE on this blog!) I have created a series of special designs on T-shirts. Each is limited edition and is only on sale for two weeks. The fourth in this series (and the first one in more than one color!) is available now, for ten more days only. Grab one or more here and show your pride in being a Bizarro Jazz Pickle! (more…)