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One of My Faves

One of my favorite and most popular cartoons (among people who are not jackasses to the planet) is available on T-shirts until Monday, August 10, 2015 ONLY!  A portion of the proceeds will go to Roots & Shoots, an educational kid’s program run by the Jane Goodall Institute. Have a look and grab and shirt before it’s too late! And please forward the link to your adoring masses in any way you can!
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Parabolic Cartoonery

Before I get to this week’s cartoons, I’d like to tell you about this T-shirt campaign featuring one of my most popular cartoons. A portion of the proceeds benefit “Roots & Shoots,” a kid’s program at the Jane Goodall Institute. Only ONE WEEK LEFT in the campaign, then the shirt is gone for good! Thanks! Have a look now, then come back. And don’t hesitate to “like,” tweet, forward, etc. it so that other’s may find out about it, too!Bizarro12-30-07DevolutionWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Church Humor?Bizarro 08-02-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 08-02-15 WEBThis Sunday cartoon is a long and winding road and you’ll likely need to enlarge it to get the most out of it. Do that by clicking it. On my computer, I have to click it, then reload the page it goes to before it appears. No idea why; computer voodoo, I guess.
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Get Your Name in a Great Book!

The King of Wordplay wants to put your name in his book! 

Amaze your friends. Stun your enemies. Be a part of Cliff Harris’s kickstarter campaign and help bring dirty jokes to the world!

BIHENH Front Cover rgb 300 dpi (1)My buddy and long-time collaborator, Cliff Harris, known to many of you Jazz Pickles as the King of Wordplay, will be publishing his first book soon. He needs some help with getting the book the national attention it deserves so he’s started a Kickstarter campaign. The book is a collection of double-meaning jokes that turn ordinary phrases into dirty jokes.  You can get a sense of Cliff’s remarkable skills with word-play in the examples of Bizarro gags that he wrote over the past few years. (see below) These gags are NOT in his new book, I’m just posting them to remind you how clever he can be.

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T-shirt to Benefit Jane Goodall Institute

The Bizarro cartoon below has gone viral many times on various social media sites so we decided since so many people respond to its message, we’d make a T-shirt out of it. It’s for sale for two weeks only, so order one before you forget and the campaign ends!

20% of the sales goes to Jane Goodall Institute‘s global youth-led community action program, Roots and Shoots. Makes a great gift for yourself or others, plus it supports teaching kids to do a better job of stewardship than we have. It’s a win/win!
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A Bird in the Hand

ATTENTION: IF YOU’VE COME HERE FOR THE T-SHIRT CAMPAIGN THAT BENEFITS THE JANE GOODALL INSTITUTE, CLICK HERE!

Bizarro is brought to you today by Lifestyle Choices.Bizarro 07-26-15 hdrWEBBizarro 07-26-15 WEBRegarding the above cartoon, one reader left the following comment: “The idea of advocating romantic relationships between species is disgusting and exactly what the Christian Right predicted would happen if we legalized gay marriage!” Okay, that reader was me, but I wish I’d gotten that complaint because it’s funny.bz panel 07-20-15I’ve long called martial arts “the pajama arts” but I mean no insult by it. I find it fascinating that a barefooted person wearing pajamas can beat the crap out of someone with a baseball bat, wearing protective gear and ass-kicking boots. Or at least, that’s how it happens in the movies.bz panel 07-21-15This coffee gag is one that has doubtless been thought of a million times and I did a version of it way back in the early 90s myself. But it’s fun, people like it, and my job is to amuse my readers not stroke my own ego with my clever originality, so here it is.
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Help a Brutha/Sista Out

My old San Francisco friend and genius character-comedian, Will Franken, who now lives in London, is slated to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival’s most prestigious venue. He’s been there four times before, gotten rave reviews (which I believe is how he got into their best venue), but needs money to support himself while there. Unfortunately, there isn’t much money in the non-mainstream comedy he’s dedicated his life to, so he’s always living on the edge.
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Fleeing Fleas

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Offices!Bizarro 07-19-15 hdrWEBBizarro 07-19-15 WEBI hope you enjoy this version of the popular horror story meme wherein a traveling couple’s car breaks down and they have to ask a scary person if they can spend the night in that person’s farmhouse, castle, etc. The setup is a bit outdated now that cell phones have been invented but I suppose you could always claim there’s no reception in that area because of inherent evil or something. (Note: I put a little extra work on the reflection in the hardwood floors so please take a moment to enjoy that.)bz panel 07-13-15I’m sure one or more cats are actually running for president next year but I suspect that, as usual, The Man won’t let them on the ballot. This is entirely because cats cannot be bought by corporations.bz panel 07-14-15I have out-of-body experiences every single day, but it’s always involving other people’s bodies. Something to think about. bz panel 07-15-15I’ve always thought the coolest thing about porcupines is that when threatened, they can throw their quills outward from their body. Much like our “goosebumps” or “gooseflesh,” but with consequences.bz panel 07-16-15Yes, I know I have a bug up my ass about unnecessarily large vehicles and I’ve done a lot of cartoons about that. Here’s another one. The salesman is unnecessarily large, too, but that’s a whole other issue about the American industrialized food system.
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Sketchcard Shuffle

Lately I’ve been posting some of my daily sketchbook musings on Instagram, Twitter, and FacadeBook and people have been super friendly and supportive. So I thought I’d mention that I’m selling similar kinds of images on fancy-pants sketchcards that you can own in this lifetime. Each one is completely original, unique, and one-of-a-kind (which is what “unique” means.)
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Thanks, Merl!

Here’s a fun twist. I was a clue in today’s L.A. Times crossword puzzle! So fun!

This is second only to my being used as a clue on TV’s Jeopardy! about ten years ago. Forgive my silly excitement but these things happen to cartoonists very rarely as we are not “real” celebrities.

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Joining Twins

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Visit To A Town In Arkansas Called Flippin.Bizarro 07-12-15 hdr Bizarro 07-12-15 WEBHere’s an odd bit of punctuation fun. If you’re not familiar with punctuation and have never (or rarely) used it, it’s those little dots and dashes that sometime squeeze themselves in between words or hover magically above them. In this case, the little dash after the last “E” in Siamese is called a “comma” and changes the meaning of the caption. Without it, it would not be referring to a cat, which it is, but would instead lead one to believe I had used an outdated, non-PC term for conjoined twins. Which I have not. In spite of the impression your 7th grade English teacher gave you, punctuation can be fun.bz panel 07-06-15Way back last Monday I published this cartoon about mice. Part of what’s funny about it is that mice don’t wear clothes or enter the medical profession. bz panel 07-07-15At the risk of sounding immodest, I really like this little bait-and-switch optical illusion cartoon or whatever you want to call it. I think tiny people inside of desk intercoms are funny.bz panel 07-08-15For the most part, critics have been kind to me over the years. One key, of course, is that critics don’t critique cartoonists very often. The worst thing about critics, however, is that they feel they MUST say something negative, even in a positive review, to avoid the impression that they are ass-kissing. Lousy ones do little more than trash people.bz panel 07-09-15This witch/cop cartoon is another grammar-related thing, I guess. Some people think wordplay is lowbrow but I like it under certain circumstance. bz panel 07-10-15If you’ve ever had a chicken bone in your throat, this cartoon needs no explanation.bz panel 07-11-15This cartoon came to me as I was thinking about the story of Little Red Riding Hood. In the original story, as I recall, the wolf eats the grandma, nearly eats LRRH, then a woodsman shows up, cuts open the wolf and pulls the grandma out of its stomach thus saving her life. I think this is a terrible story to tell children because it inaccurately teaches them that wolves do not chew their food.
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