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The Waiting Room

Hello, Jazz Pickles. I hope you are enjoying the thing(s) and person(people) in your life on this day and will continue to do so for as many days as you have left.

In the meantime, we’re in “waiting mode” here at Rancho Bizarro. There is a team of super-genius-giant-brain folks working to get my old Bizarro website (this one with black borders) migrated to the new website (which I hope you will love) so we can switch over and go live with it. (Pronounce that bold word to rhyme with “dive,” not “give.”)
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Mistaken Email Alert This Morning

Hey, Jazz Pickles!

We’re working today on getting the new site up and my old site accidentally sent out an email alerting you to a blog post from 2008. Sorry about that. Just ignore that email you got earlier today and hopefully it won’t happen again. Hope to have the new site up and spewing by Monday but keep your fingers crossed! Thanks!

Tall Tail Tales

(To achieve and enjoy enbiggenation, click on any regenerative limb.) 

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Four Hairstyles of the Apocalypse.

This week’s Sunday cartoon is a fun little twist of expectation and I had a grand time drawing it. I’m a fan of lizards (though I do not have any as pets) particularly the prehistoric-seeming nature of them, so drawing them is always a treat. Recently, Olive Oyl (O2) and I were kayaking through some lagoons near a beach in Mexico and saw dozens of these big, orange iguanas with black striped tails hanging out in the trees. SO cool.
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Dangerous Crops

(To begin the embiggenation process, click the gimme cap in the cartoon below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today Trump Voodoo Doll.

There was a time when people were romantic about America’s “heartland,” as though it was where good, wholesome, moral, honest folks came from, as opposed to “big city folk”.  But to my mind these days, it seems to represent people who voted for and continue to support a racist White House that openly promises to take benefits away from poor children, the elderly, the disabled, the disadvantaged-in-general, while arresting innocent children who were born in the U.S. and throwing them out of the country because their parents came here out of desperation to make a better life for themselves and their children. (Don’t even try to tell me the immigrant issue is about jobs because there are no facts to back that bullshit up. And if you think it’s not about racism or jobs, it’s about the “rule of law,” let’s audit your taxes for the last ten years and see how law-abiding you are.)
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Batmen

(Just as with actual therapy, you can embiggenate this scene by clicking the shrink’s pipe.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Glamour of Hollywood.

Tonight is the 90th Acadamy Awards and this seems an appropriate cartoon for the occasion. Batman has been played by many actors over the years but here we are finally given a glimpse of the toll that how being inhabited by so many personalities has taken on him.
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All Natural

 

(To embiggenate, click on any foot or piece of footwear within any image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by What’s In That Pipe, George?

It’s a fun day for Bizarro Jazz Pickles. Not only are there TEN Secret Symbols to find in today’s comic (click it to embiggenate it and begin your search!) but I’ve created a fun, new T-shirt design that I think those of you with a touch of social courage and a certain opinion of overly-used, overly-cute images will enjoy tremendously.
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Driven

(Get into the whole embiggenation thing by clicking on the headlight of the red car.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Actual Fortune Tellers.

I’ve taken Uber or Lyft a few dozen times and with one exception, have always had a positive experience. The exception was in LA and the guy driving our car seemed friendly enough to Olive Oyl and me but was prone to honking at other drivers, cussing them out under his breath, and weaving through traffic to cut people off that he thought had offended him. His driving was such a stereotypical example of road rage that it seemed like a scene from a sit-com, but scary. (I once watched 8 minutes of an episode of Two and a Half Men and found it equally scary, but in a different way. Getting Charlie Sheen as your Uber driver would perhaps be a perfect storm. )
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Hot Crackers

(Embiggenation is within your reach with a simple click on the parrot’s cloaca.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Maybe If Your Business Is Pimping.

Olive Oyl and I are not big enough fans of technology to want one of those thingamajigs––whatever you call them––in our house, but we do like to appear to our friends to be “hip” and up-to-date, so I spray painted a tomato juice can black and put it on our coffee table. When our friends come over, I just casually say, “Alexa, take a nap for a few hours and don’t bother us while our visitors are here unless it’s an emergency.” So far no one is the wiser.
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A Mile In My Shoes

(Make the below cartoon more embiggened by clicking the red helmet.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Striking Resemblances.

Remember when you were young and in a band and going to loud concerts and you ignored the advice of adults who warned you about protecting your hearing?  Well, as clueless and uncool as those decrepit geezers seemed, either they were correct or they cruelly cast a voodoo spell on you as punishment for ignoring their advice, and you can now only hear about 85% of the syllables people aim at you. Or at least, that’s what happened to me. It is for this reason that I stay away from skydiving and other activities during which a misunderstanding could result in my death.
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Smell Test

(Make an embiggenated version by clicking any Egyptian hieroglyph.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Strangers in Disguises.

Regular readers of my Bizarro blog are familiar with a guy whom I call “Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay.” Wordplay and puns are the easiest and most common kind of humor and cartoonists have varying degrees of tolerance for the category. Some will use any pun, no matter how predictable or lame, some, as a matter of principle, won’t use any pun, no matter how fresh. For me, it’s all about surprise; if a pun or a bit of wordplay surprises me and I chuckle, I’ll use it. This one made me chuckle a lot when Cliff suggested it and it still does.
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