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Cartoon Recommendation

Some guys called Mustard and Baloney are doing some good cartoons these days. I love the one below.

Check out their site, which has a bit of a movie trivia quiz today in the form of cartoons. If you’re the first person to get their final question right, you’ll win a signed book! And while you’re there, consider picking up their new book in case you don’t win it. (more…)

Eternal Slacking Laundry Jungle

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Young Vet In Training.

My, how time flies. Here it is today already and just 24 hours ago it was yesterday. Will it ever end? So far, it hasn’t, and that is the point of this cartoon. Eternity is a notoriously difficult concept for the human mind to grasp from inside our tiny fishbowl lives, but I find it very helpful to contemplate. (more…)

Mass Entertainment

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I wrote today’s cartoon with the “dumbing down” of American audiences in mind but I used gross exaggerations to do it. I’m not one to have season tickets to the symphony, either (though I’ve been a few times and enjoyed it) and most Americans wouldn’t watch a man eat a piano for long, but there are plenty who would. As I think about it now, though, there has always been a wide audience for lowbrow entertainment and a smaller one for higher quality endeavors of any kind, so this is nothing new. Even in Shakespeare’s time, the theater across the street was offering amateur juggling competitions called “England’s Got Balls,” and these shows were much more popular than Hamlet and the like. (more…)

Six Smiles

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It’s been a busy week at Rancho Bizarro and I didn’t even fully realize I hadn’t posted any cartoons since last Sunday until this morning. Crazy, daddio. I’m still working as the host/narrator of FOX TV’s Utopia, which has kept me pretty busy. I don’t know how long the gig will last but it sure has been fun to work on. It’s already led to other opportunities, which is terrific. One notable one is that the Coen brothers are planning a live-action version of Snow White and I’m being seriously considered for the role of Creepy, an eighth dwarf they added specifically for me. Wish me luck! (more…)

Cave Sex Battles

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I’m a self-proclaimed amateur expert on human behavior and anthropology and was pondering one day about how women tend to be more verbal than men. It then occurred to me that it would not surprise me in the least to find that females attained speech long before men, which is the point of this cartoon. It now occurs to me that an alternate interpretation of this cartoon is that both sexes had speech but it was hundreds of years before men actually started using it. That wouldn’t surprise me, either. Though most of my cartoons are not autobiographical, this one almost is. I’m not the traditionally silent type and probably talk far too much for my own good, but I was once married to a woman who could not stop talking if you had sewn her mouth shut. She woke up rambling on and on and it continued until after I fell asleep at night. It was disturbing, and not just to my sleep. (For a color print of this comic, go here.) (more…)

Stomp Break Fall Stink

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My clever friend in Germany, Michael Roth, had the idea that Ant-Man’s archenemy might be a guy with a big shoe to step on him. I added the picnic basket to drive home the point, as everyone knows that picnics attract ants.

The strip version of this one is turned sideways because I wanted readers to be able to see the entire image, but to shrink it down and place it vertically, as I normally would, would make it too small. I’ve done this a few other times, too, but not often. Here’s one now. (more…)

Ned Panda Electric Foot

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Book Recommendation.

 

If you don’t get this first gag, it’s because you’ve not heard of TED talks, and that’s not my fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t get this gag, it’s because you’ve never heard of panda bears and/or cosmetic surgery, and how is that even possible?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t get this one, it’s likely because you don’t know how much havoc we have wreaked on the planet or that animal agriculture is at the top of the list of polluters. By not purchasing animal products (or purchasing far fewer) you can lessen your carbon footprint by a much larger amount than if you drive an electric car. Word. (more…)

A Funny Book

Attention Jazz Pickles: Here is a book of cartoons that I think you’ll dig, but it isn’t mine.

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These guys call themselves Mustard and Baloney, and I like their work so much I wrote a foreword for their first book of cartoons. The gags are funny, the art is spectacular.

Below are a couple of my favorites from the book. Check it out here and buy a copy or twelve. “Mustard” is blogging there, too, in case you don’t have enough ways to waste time while you should be working.color_0206_fries color_0037_hunter (more…)

Casual Probing Racism Comb-over

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I moved from NYC to LA a few years ago and have become even more keenly aware of the differences in their cultures than I was when I was only visiting here. Life in California is generally so much more relaxed than in NYC, which isn’t surprising, but the effect it has on people is glorious. The average person on the street––behind a counter or reception desk, answering a phone call for a business, driving a bus, etc.––is friendlier by a factor of 6.3 (by my unofficial calculations) than their East Coast counterparts. I love that about the West. Thinking along this line, I couldn’t help imagining the clash between how things are done in offices in the east compared to the west. (more…)

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