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Stomp Break Fall Stink

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My clever friend in Germany, Michael Roth, had the idea that Ant-Man’s archenemy might be a guy with a big shoe to step on him. I added the picnic basket to drive home the point, as everyone knows that picnics attract ants.

The strip version of this one is turned sideways because I wanted readers to be able to see the entire image, but to shrink it down and place it vertically, as I normally would, would make it too small. I’ve done this a few other times, too, but not often. Here’s one now. (more…)

Ned Panda Electric Foot

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Book Recommendation.

 

If you don’t get this first gag, it’s because you’ve not heard of TED talks, and that’s not my fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t get this gag, it’s because you’ve never heard of panda bears and/or cosmetic surgery, and how is that even possible?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t get this one, it’s likely because you don’t know how much havoc we have wreaked on the planet or that animal agriculture is at the top of the list of polluters. By not purchasing animal products (or purchasing far fewer) you can lessen your carbon footprint by a much larger amount than if you drive an electric car. Word. (more…)

A Funny Book

Attention Jazz Pickles: Here is a book of cartoons that I think you’ll dig, but it isn’t mine.

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These guys call themselves Mustard and Baloney, and I like their work so much I wrote a foreword for their first book of cartoons. The gags are funny, the art is spectacular.

Below are a couple of my favorites from the book. Check it out here and buy a copy or twelve. “Mustard” is blogging there, too, in case you don’t have enough ways to waste time while you should be working.color_0206_fries color_0037_hunter (more…)

Casual Probing Racism Comb-over

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I moved from NYC to LA a few years ago and have become even more keenly aware of the differences in their cultures than I was when I was only visiting here. Life in California is generally so much more relaxed than in NYC, which isn’t surprising, but the effect it has on people is glorious. The average person on the street––behind a counter or reception desk, answering a phone call for a business, driving a bus, etc.––is friendlier by a factor of 6.3 (by my unofficial calculations) than their East Coast counterparts. I love that about the West. Thinking along this line, I couldn’t help imagining the clash between how things are done in offices in the east compared to the west. (more…)

Cats Tongues Dogs

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Australian Parking Lot.

People often say they prefer cats over dogs because they are cleaner. I suppose that’s true if you consider an animal covered in spit to be clean. I like cats and dogs, but when it comes to cleaning, I prefer dogs. With a dog, you can drop food on the floor and it gets cleaned up instantly. Even if a cat does eat the food you drop, they are just as likely to hop up on the couch and vomit it back up, so it’s much more of a moving service than a cleaning service. (Purchase a print of this cartoon.) (more…)

Camper Bite Godzilla God

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In creating this first cartoon, I was well aware of the fact that there are plenty of women (and men) out there who really dig this kind of guy. To those folks I’d like to say that the point of this was not to say that this guy is wrong for everyone, just wrong for the gal at the bar. I have a lot of friends who are political, environmental, and/or animal rights activists and some of them have the habit of plastering their vehicles with tons of stickers about their beliefs, as well. I’m not sure how many people actually change their belief system based on the bumper stickers they read while at a red light, but I’m guessing it’s a fairly small percentage. Still, somehow we all like to tell the world what we believe or cherish in one way or another. I, for instance, enjoy wearing a T-shirt that says, “ONE OF MY CHILDREN HAS NEVER BEEN ARRESTED.” (Purchase a print of this cartoon.) (more…)

Stampede Fish Rapunzel Parrot Miscreant

Bizarro 09-07-14 hdrWEBBizarro 09-07-14 WEBbz panel 09-08-14bz strip 09-08-14bz panel 09-09-14bz strip 09-09-14bz panel 09-10-14bz strip 09-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the Trump Clones.

To my regular readers of this blog I’d like to apologize for being so tardy in my posts of late. I was accidentally cast as the narrator/host of a show on FOX called “Utopia,” and since this is the first week of the show and I’m the only one on it allowed to leave to do interviews and press, they’ve kept me super busy. I’m having a ball with it, although it is still completely surreal. More about how this happened in my previous post here. Meanwhile, here are some cartoons to catch you up on my “real” life as a cartoonist. (more…)

My Life Just Got Very WEIRD!

The strangest thing that’s ever happened to me happened recently and I wanted to share the experience with my Jazz Pickles.

A friend of mine who is a reality TV producer of note, Jon Kroll, called me a couple months ago and said he was working on a new show and they were looking for a narrator. He’s always liked my voice and thought I might be a good fit, so he asked if I’d be interested in auditioning, even though I’ve never done this kind of work before. I said I was. He said over a hundred others were auditioning, too, so not to expect anything. I didn’t. (more…)

Hunter Fan Hero Liar

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Phony, fad diets like Paleo are a favorite topic of mine when I can find a good idea with which to skewer them. I think this one is pretty funny. Large amounts of meat are horrible for the human body unless you combine them with enormous amounts of exercise, which our primitive ancestors most certainly did. If you’re thinking “But I lost a lot of weight on the Paleo Diet,” keep in mind that people on meth lose a lot of weight, too. Doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you. (more…)

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