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Cannibal Ghost Superman Dinner

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Gourmet Dining.

If you haven’t visited a KwikKannibal recently, you should. They have a new sausage sandwich that is filled with ground lips, ears, and nostrils––not the usual penis-on-a-bun that these kinds of places typically have. I recommend it.

My good buddy Cliff The King Of Wordplay came up with this delightful pun and I am pleased to present it to you today. I hope it made you giggle. Buy a print of this cartoon here. (more…)

Disastrous Profits

Bizarro 08-10-14 hdrWEBBizarro 08-10-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Graffiti.

In this imagination of the not-too-distant future, I indulge the climate change deniers with a world in which they still run things. Corporations have found that there is still more money in pollution than in intelligent energy solutions, and so the human population of Earth is left wearing expensive contraptions to protect them from the hostile environment. (more…)

Zombie Burning Anger

bz panel 08-08-14bz strip 08-08-14bz panel 08-09-14bz strip 08-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Chocolate Family, Please.

These cartoons are a couple of my favorites of late. As tempting as it was to draw the zombies “running” the race, I’m happy that I chose this remote view instead, which leaves part of the gag to the reader’s imagination.

Attention young cartoonists: The reader’s imagination is key to a good gag.   (more…)

Lawyer Spelunker Nobody Prison

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Let My People Go.

 

Monday’s cartoon: I could never be an attorney because I wouldn’t be able to make myself fight for guilty or rotten people. Also because I find giant books full of rules make me want to move to another planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday’s: I love caves and I love the word “spelunking.” I try to use it in casual conversation at least once each day. (more…)

Transformer in a Bottle

Bizarro 08-03-14 hedrBizarro 08-03-14 WEB(click on any image to make it “transform” into a bigger one.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Society.

One of my pet peeves about society is that cops are taught to enforce the law, regardless of the context. If you drive slowly up to a red light at four in the morning and stop, there isn’t another car in sight and you carefully move through the red light and on your way, you would very likely get a ticket from any cop that happens to see you. My question is always this: Do laws exist to serve people or do people exist to serve laws?  Whoops. There I go thinking independently and logically again. (more…)

Holiday Hangover

bz panel 07-28-14bz strip 07-28-14bz panel 07-29-14bz strip 07-29-14bz panel 07-30-14bz strip 07-30-14bz panel 07-31-14bz strip 07-31-14bz panel 08-01-14bz strip 08-01-14bz panel 08-02-14bz strip 08-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the 50 Foot Boy.

The adorable Olive Oyl and I were on vacation last week and though we have been back since Monday, I’ve had no time to post here because this past week has been a hectic whirlwind of chaos, mayhem, and shenanigans of all kinds as I try to get caught up. As anyone who’s ever had a vacation knows, getting back into the rhythm of “real life” after you’ve spent seven days drinking margaritas from noon till midnight is like trying to put a giraffe in a car without a sunroof. Yes, that is a clumsy analogy but I’ve been drinking tequila all day, every day for a week and my brain is soft. For anyone who cares, we had an amazing time and here’s proof. (more…)

Super Villain Flies

Bizarro 07-27-14 HdrWEB Bizarro 07-27-14 WEB(Click any image to make it seem larger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Homeopathic Hair Replacement.

This is my last day of vacation so my next post will be full of verbosity. If you care.

 

Today’s cartoon is a bit of a soft gag, I suppose, but I just thought it would be really funny to impose Hollywood action film rules on actual life for a moment. (more…)

Legal Hair Wisdom

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I’m on vacation this week so I’m keeping my blog comments brief.

 

 

 

Thursday’s cartoon: This one is autobiographical. If you live long enough, chances are it will be for you, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday’s cartoon: This one is autobiographical, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday’s cartoon: This has never happened to me.

Mouse Tweet Cats

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Bizarro is brought to you today by I’m on Vacation This Week!

I’m on vacation this week so I’m keeping my blog comments brief!

 

 

Monday’s cartoon: Well, have you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday’s cartoon: Part of my vacation is ignoring electronics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday’s cartoon: My cats never play with cat toys. Only things that are expressly not for cats.

Spider on a Plane

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My Invisible Friend.

I’m on vacation this week so I’m keeping my blog comments brief. I hope you more loyal Jazz Pickles will forgive me.

Here’s my cartoon for today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a cartoon I did in 1998 that I thought you might like.

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