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Sunday Punnies #35

Bizarro 07-13-14 hedrWEbBizarro 07-13-14 WEB(To see an enbigginated version of any of these cartoons, tap them with your clicker.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Self Defense Advice.

Here is number 35 in my series of “Sunday Punnies,” which are puns donated by readers, then expertly interpreted and illustrated by the best artist I could find without leaving my house. Congrats this time goes to Jay Branscomb, Cliff Harris (yes, The King of Wordplay), and Martin Baker.  If you have an original pun that you’d like to submit, leave it in the comments section of any post on this blog and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

2776, the Musical!

Hey Jazz Pickles and Groove Monkeys! Rob Kutner, a fancy-pants comedy writer for fancy-pants TV shows (like The Daily Show) is part of an interesting music project that he got me involved in.

Here is Rob’s description of it:

“2776″

The biggest comedy-music-sci-fi-history album of all time. Including:

 – 82 comedians and musicians (everyone from Ed Helms to Patton Oswalt to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Dick Cavett, Aimee Mann, Andrew WK and many more!) (more…)

Seuss Goth Magic Santa Alien

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Willing Victims.

I’ve always been one to think of “ordinary” things objectively, which is why I’m fairly good at coming up with cartoons. As a kid, I often wondered why cow’s milk was fine but horse or dog or pig milk was revolting. Eventually, I became repulsed by cow’s milk, as well, and as it turns out it’s a pretty unhealthy thing for humans to consume, contrary to everything you’ve heard all your life. That kind of thinking (and research) led me to adopt a vegan diet over 12 years ago, which has greatly improved my health and happiness. That kind of thinking also led to this cartoon about eating famous Seuss characters. (more…)

Star Trek Godzilla Murder Complaint Nap

Bizarro 07-06-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 07-06-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Catzilla.

I have a long-time pen pal in Germany by the name of Michael Roth. He’s a writer and sometimes he writes cartoon ideas he’d like to see and every now and again I use one. He sent me some ideas about how outdated the “communicators” from the original Star Trek TV show would look to us now, and we finally settled on this treatment for it. If that’s not enough, I packed it with lots of background jokes, too, so click the image for a larger look-see. On the side of the pink truck is one of my Jazz Pickle, limited-edition T-shirts. If you missed this one, check out my most recent shirt,available for only TWO MORE DAYS! Makes a great gift for that person in your life who is addicted to lame TV shows or Justin Bieber. bz panel 07-03-14bz strip 07-03-14bz panel 07-04-14bz strip 07-04-14bz panel 07-05-14bz strip 07-05-14And don’t forget to drop by and say hello to Michael. (more…)

Celebrity T-shirt!

If you’re like me, you’re always on the look out for subtle, unobtrusive ways to let people know that you are a deeply intellectual person of sophisticated taste.

Accordingly, I have designed this T-shirt, which tells people that you do not approve of the dumbing down of America (and other countries we have exported our banalities to [think McDonalds.])
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Money Frames Dead Doctor

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My Cigar Smoking is Having an Effect on My Dog.

As a cartoonist, it’s particularly fun for me to be able to add a new twist to one of the cartoon cliches we’ve all seen so many times. In the archive section at the end of this post, I feature another such idea from a few years back. (more…)

Family Demon Oil

mediocrityRulesMultiSM1Don’t miss your chance to wear this adorable shirt (as seen in a Bizarro comic) which tells the world you don’t approve. Only NINE days left, then it’s gone forever! Have a look.

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Getting Help.Bizarro 06-29-14 Hedr WEB

Family Circus is one of the most parodied cartoons in history. The simple wholesomeness of it is irresistible to sarcastic jackasses like me and there are a number of FC memes––like Billy’s habit of leaving dotted lines everywhere he walks––that make it “easy pickins”. I’ve done a handful in the past and thought I’d gotten it out of my system but then this idea occurred to me and I couldn’t resist. I’m friends with Jeff Keane, better known by FC readers as “Jeffy,” and was friends with his late father, the creator of FC, Bil Keane. They’ve always enjoyed FC spoofs, so I knew I was in safe waters when I submitted this one. I drew the comic exactly as Jeff would, who has taken over the strip for his dad, but I took the liberty of redecorating their house with five of my own Bizarro secret symbols. My favorite touch is PJ crying. Lord only knows what horrible sights he witnessed to upset him so.Bizarro 06-29-14 WEB (more…)

Crime 11 Awareness Geriatric

bz panel 06-26-14bz strip 06-26-14bz panel 06-27-14bz strip 06-27-14bz panel 06-28-14bz strip 06-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by House Pets.

What I like most about this armed robbery cartoon is imagining the robber saying all of this very matter-of-factly, the way someone might end a sentence with “yada, yada, yada”. Tons of people have real-life excuses for bad behavior but there is growing evidence that we don’t have nearly as much free choice as we think we do. Many scientists are beginning to suspect that given our specific DNA wiring, we are compelled to make the decisions we make––good, bad, and indifferent––and there is little we can do about it. Our brains simply tell us that this is the best course of action at the moment and we do it, thinking we made a “choice”. This notion is radical and counterintuitive, to say the least, but it might well be true. Oops…there goes another tenet of traditional human religions. (more…)

Loud Food Kilt Floppy Disk

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Epiphanies.

 

Personally, I never accept anything offered for free for fear that strings will be attached. I don’t like strings. Not even free ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cartoon is autobiographical because while writing cartoons one day and thinking about zombies, I suddenly realized that they could eat their own brains. Sorry it is so disgusting. (more…)

Limited-Edition Shirt!

Hey, Jazz Pickles, an old cartoon I posted recently featured a character wearing a T-shirt that says, “Mediocrity Rules”.

A number of folks asked for this shirt to be put on sale, so I gave in to popular demand and created it.

Get yours now, it will only be available for sale for two weeks! Ten different styles and colors, so check them out, snag a few for yourself (and as gifts for friends and enemies later) and subtly stand in defiance of the mediocrity all around you, without ever saying a word. (click the shirts for a larger view.) (more…)

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