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Limited-Edition Shirt!

Hey, Jazz Pickles, an old cartoon I posted recently featured a character wearing a T-shirt that says, “Mediocrity Rules”.

A number of folks asked for this shirt to be put on sale, so I gave in to popular demand and created it.

Get yours now, it will only be available for sale for two weeks! Ten different styles and colors, so check them out, snag a few for yourself (and as gifts for friends and enemies later) and subtly stand in defiance of the mediocrity all around you, without ever saying a word. (click the shirts for a larger view.) (more…)

Security Invasion

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If you’re not accustomed to going through security at American airports, you may miss some of this gag. The wording these guys say over and over, all day long is, “Completely empty the contents of your pockets and take off your shoes.” (Which you are supposed to put in a tray.) Yes, we Americans still have to take off our shoes and run them through the X-ray machine because years ago, some mentally disturbed lunatic tried to ignite a bomb he had hidden in his shoe. Thank god he didn’t hide it in his underwear. So, while thinking of what a security check might look like on an alien planet, I came up with this gag. Theoretical physicists would back me up that this could potentially be happening on another planet, or a parallel universe. So there. (more…)

Selfie Sample Guru Bus

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Least You Can Do.

I’m in my mid-fifties and have been thinking about social media lately. I’ve gone through stages where I didn’t understand it, then I got into it, then I thought it was necessary for my business and getting the most out of life, and now I’m thinking it has nothing to do with my happiness and is likely a detriment to it. Life happens in a much more profound and satisfying way in person and it is actually true that the best things in life are free. I still use it to a small degree, of course, in ways that it facilitates me, but I’ll never be a Twitter Star. I don’t take as many selfies as younger folks, either. I know that selfies are not literally “social media” but they figure in. (more…)

Hedgehog Wink Angry Naked

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Bizarro is brought to you today by For Injured Pickles.

 

It is Wednesday and that means that we can no longer do things on Tuesday of this week. I say that because I planned to get some gardening done on Tuesday, but now I can’t. Still, here’s a gardening cartoon that may make the edges of your mouth move upward a fraction of an inch. (more…)

Riding Sinfully

Bizarro 06-15-14 hedrWEB (For a biggenized version of these cartoons, click them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by How Many Ways Can You Spell “Boogie”?

The “header panel” at left is borrowed from a recent Sunday Bizarro cartoon that looked like this. Sometimes I do that. I really like this character based on Wild Bill Hickok so I used him again.
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Shark Eggs Topless

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Breakthrough in Hair Replacement Technology.

 

Yes, that’s a shark vacuuming the carpet in the middle of the night because sharks are the species that everyone thinks of as having to keep moving to stay alive. Something about forcing water through their gills or dodging bill collectors, I can’t remember which. (more…)

Vowel Whoa Blow Text Stumps

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Bizarro is brought to you today by WHAT?

 

This first cartoon is perhaps a bit of a “groaner” to some, but I still think it’s a clever gag so I went with it. I’m glad I did because I really love the woman’s face. Something about it makes me happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Old West’s version of the four-way stop is a recent favorite of mine. I love doing cartoons about the Old West and this is something I’d not seen before. I’m also driven crazy by other drivers who can’t figure out how four-way stops work. Or, it’s their turn and they wave everyone else by because they’re too timid to enter an intersection with others watching. (more…)

Supercizing

Bizarro 06-08-14 HedrWEBBizarro 06-08-14 WEB(I beseech thee to view larger versions of these cartoons by clicking them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anyone Know Who Did This Brilliant Cartoon?

As simple as this cartoon is, it was a pain in the cartoon ass to draw. One would think you could draw that damned treadmill once and then clone it but no, each is at a completely different angle and perspective so they all have to be drawn separately. Making them look identical was a chore. Notice I didn’t try to draw a gym full of workout machines behind them. Ugh! (more…)

Undies Fish TV Laptop

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Latest Disguise Technology.

 

Ever wondered if Tarzan wore underwear? Neither had I until I did, and it resulted in this cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This barroom cartoon is a collaboration with my good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I’ve been told by a few readers that I got the symbol count wrong on this vertical version, it should be 7 instead of 6. The strip is wrong, too. I only count 4. Sometimes my counting ain’t so good, and neither is my editor’s. Wayno blathers eloquently about this cartoon and his original sketch here. (more…)

Java Jail Ovum Puke

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Products To Avoid.

 

There’s been a lot in the news lately about various companies looking into using small drones like the one in this cartoon for home delivery of products bought online. I can’t believe this idea will “fly,” considering it will mean that eventually there will be thousands of little robots flying around with boxes hooked to the bottom, getting shot down by everyone from mischievous kids to thieves who hope to get lucky and not end up with a pair of fluffy slippers some grandmother ordered. This idea came from the brilliant and handsome, if not hygienic, Dan McConnell, a good friend and cartoonist colleague. If you want to see more of his work, he hangs out here. (more…)

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