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Holiday Hangover

bz panel 07-28-14bz strip 07-28-14bz panel 07-29-14bz strip 07-29-14bz panel 07-30-14bz strip 07-30-14bz panel 07-31-14bz strip 07-31-14bz panel 08-01-14bz strip 08-01-14bz panel 08-02-14bz strip 08-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the 50 Foot Boy.

The adorable Olive Oyl and I were on vacation last week and though we have been back since Monday, I’ve had no time to post here because this past week has been a hectic whirlwind of chaos, mayhem, and shenanigans of all kinds as I try to get caught up. As anyone who’s ever had a vacation knows, getting back into the rhythm of “real life” after you’ve spent seven days drinking margaritas from noon till midnight is like trying to put a giraffe in a car without a sunroof. Yes, that is a clumsy analogy but I’ve been drinking tequila all day, every day for a week and my brain is soft. For anyone who cares, we had an amazing time and here’s proof. (more…)

Super Villain Flies

Bizarro 07-27-14 HdrWEB Bizarro 07-27-14 WEB(Click any image to make it seem larger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Homeopathic Hair Replacement.

This is my last day of vacation so my next post will be full of verbosity. If you care.

 

Today’s cartoon is a bit of a soft gag, I suppose, but I just thought it would be really funny to impose Hollywood action film rules on actual life for a moment. (more…)

Legal Hair Wisdom

bz panel 07-24-14bz strip 07-24-14bz panel 07-25-14bz strip 07-25-14bz panel 07-26-14bz strip 07-26-14Bizarro is brought to you today by What Was Eeyore’s Crime?

I’m on vacation this week so I’m keeping my blog comments brief.

 

 

 

Thursday’s cartoon: This one is autobiographical. If you live long enough, chances are it will be for you, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday’s cartoon: This one is autobiographical, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday’s cartoon: This has never happened to me.

Mouse Tweet Cats

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Bizarro is brought to you today by I’m on Vacation This Week!

I’m on vacation this week so I’m keeping my blog comments brief!

 

 

Monday’s cartoon: Well, have you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday’s cartoon: Part of my vacation is ignoring electronics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday’s cartoon: My cats never play with cat toys. Only things that are expressly not for cats.

Spider on a Plane

Bizarro 07-20-14 HedrWEB Bizarro 07-20-14 WEB bizarro 06-14-98 tall shipWEB(click on any image to make it more huge)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by My Invisible Friend.

I’m on vacation this week so I’m keeping my blog comments brief. I hope you more loyal Jazz Pickles will forgive me.

Here’s my cartoon for today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a cartoon I did in 1998 that I thought you might like.

Dog Amputee Monster Dog

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dung Beetle.

I’m on vacation this week and keeping my blog posts short!

 

 

 

Thursday’s cartoon: My dog would do this. No doubt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday’s cartoon: My dog would not do this. Especially if the kid had snacks. She would shred homework, though, judging by the way she treats mail. (more…)

Jobs Imposter Indians Indians

bz panel 07-14-14bz strip 07-14-14bz panel 07-15-14bz strip 07-15-14bz panel 07-16-14bz strip 07-16-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Immigration Ego Battles.

This first cartoon was inspired by the fact that I’ve got a couple of very smart, hardworking, talented, adult daughters who found it very difficult to find meaningful work when they graduated college. Of course, their degrees in 16th century transportation innovations of the Berbers, and Poetry of the Malagasy Republic may have something to do with it, but still. You’d think someone would want to hire these amazing young women that I personally groomed to be valuable contributors to the planet. Even so, I’m happy to report that both are living indoors and eating daily and that neither has ever worked for life-destroying corporations like McDonalds. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #35

Bizarro 07-13-14 hedrWEbBizarro 07-13-14 WEB(To see an enbigginated version of any of these cartoons, tap them with your clicker.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Self Defense Advice.

Here is number 35 in my series of “Sunday Punnies,” which are puns donated by readers, then expertly interpreted and illustrated by the best artist I could find without leaving my house. Congrats this time goes to Jay Branscomb, Cliff Harris (yes, The King of Wordplay), and Martin Baker.  If you have an original pun that you’d like to submit, leave it in the comments section of any post on this blog and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

2776, the Musical!

Hey Jazz Pickles and Groove Monkeys! Rob Kutner, a fancy-pants comedy writer for fancy-pants TV shows (like The Daily Show) is part of an interesting music project that he got me involved in.

Here is Rob’s description of it:

“2776″

The biggest comedy-music-sci-fi-history album of all time. Including:

 – 82 comedians and musicians (everyone from Ed Helms to Patton Oswalt to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Dick Cavett, Aimee Mann, Andrew WK and many more!) (more…)

Seuss Goth Magic Santa Alien

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Willing Victims.

I’ve always been one to think of “ordinary” things objectively, which is why I’m fairly good at coming up with cartoons. As a kid, I often wondered why cow’s milk was fine but horse or dog or pig milk was revolting. Eventually, I became repulsed by cow’s milk, as well, and as it turns out it’s a pretty unhealthy thing for humans to consume, contrary to everything you’ve heard all your life. That kind of thinking (and research) led me to adopt a vegan diet over 12 years ago, which has greatly improved my health and happiness. That kind of thinking also led to this cartoon about eating famous Seuss characters. (more…)

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