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Trimmings

(Be ye desirous of embiggenation, clicketh upon yon psychos henceforth.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Awkward First Dates.

I confess I’ve not actually seen the movie I referenced in this cartoon. I’ve long been fascinated by the imagery but haven’t the foggiest idea how a guy with 12 lbs. of blades growing out of his hands is explained in the movie. Since my joke is mostly just a satire of his name, it probably doesn’t matter if you’ve seen it or not.
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Scalp Art

(To achieve an embiggenated view of the male-pattern comedy below, click any nose in the drawing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Devolution.

Most of you Jazz Pickles are up to speed about what’s been happening at Rancho Bizarro lately but for those who are not––since January 1, I’m only writing and drawing the Sunday cartoons and my good friend and longtime collaborator, Wayno, is drawing the Monday through Saturday cartoons. We sometimes collaborate on the concepts for the weekday gags, but Wayno’s doing the heavy lifting (of pencils, pens, kneaded erasers, glasses of wine, etc.) With a little practice, you should be able to tell the difference between our drawing styles and our signatures. (Hint: his signature starts with a “W”)
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Savings

(One click of the stack of tires gets you an embiggenated view of Carl’s congregation.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Eyeball of Observation Spotted In My Neighborhood.

As I announced in last week’s cartoon rundown, I’ve just recently turned over my Monday-through-Saturday cartoons to my good friend and talented colleague, Wayno. He previously had a feature on GoComics called “WaynoVision,” which he retired to concentrate on Bizarro, but the archives are still viewable. The link to those is at the end of this post.
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Famous Liars

(Amusing details may become more evident with an embiggenating click of the images herein.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Lip Reader’s Nightmare.

I think it is fair to say that if the Orange Menace had the same biological syndrome as Pinocchio, Trump Tower could have been the world’s tallest structure made entirely of nose-sized logs. But enough about famous liars.
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Optical Collusion

(To make a whole big thing out of the cartoon below, click Picasso’s big toe.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Something To Do With Jesus, Possibly?

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot more time on fine art than I have in many years so this cartoon was a labor of love, to be certain. Escher and Picasso were both geniuses but at completely opposite ends of the art spectrum: Escher was first and foremost a draftsman whose precision was remarkable and at times breathtaking; Picasso was all about raw creativity expressed with passion instead of precision. I would guess they could appreciate each other’s talents but I found it easy to imagine a friendly put-down session––in the way that some men have of “busting each other’s balls” as a sign of affection.
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Pecker

(For an embiggenated version of the cartoon below, click the pig.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Christmas.

(Sung to the tune of “Old MacDonald”.)  Farmer Ahab had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on this farm he tried to harpoon a cute fluffy little baby peep, O-my-effing-god.  (Stop singing now and good luck trying to get that tune out of your head for the next several hours.)
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Various Vermin

Once again, I was unable to find the time to complete my weekly blog last week so this post has TWO WEEKS of cartoons, which my abacus tells me is FOURTEEN!

(For a righteous embiggenation, click the chick in the below pic.)

I’ve been told by scientists that the above cartoon is completely possible as long as the bungee cord is made of something much stronger and more flexible than anything we’ve yet discovered and the alien is friction proof. I chose the setting intentionally because, like Bigfoot, extraterrestrials tend to appear before inebriated country folk more than anyone else.
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Classical Omission

In yesterday’s post of the previous week’s cartoons, the above comic was accidentally omitted. I did everything the same way I always do and grabbed my entire week’s worth of cartoons en masse for uploading, yet this one somehow didn’t make it to the other side. I didn’t notice it was missing until one of my cherished Jazz Pickles asked about it in a comment today. Thanks, E. A. J.!
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Flaccid Headwear

(Embiggenate your experience by clicking a cartoon.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Smart Hat.

When I was growing up in the late 1900s, my parents didn’t believe in spending the extra money to get the name-brand fashion trends my sisters and I needed if we hoped to have any social traction at school. This taught us important lessons such as: Kids in Levis® and Dingo® boots are not always kind to kids in Montgomery Ward jeans and “Dango” boots from Larry’s shoe barn. In the cartoon above, it’s no mystery which style of balloon hat I would have been wearing around the park.
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