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Drunken Veggies

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Road to the Election.

As a vegan, I enjoy a good salad bar from time to time, though I don’t frequent them. They are pretty boring, for sure. For some reason, the idea of what it would take to be a really amazing salad bar popped into my mind and this joke followed shortly thereafter. I’m very happy with the way the veggie characters turned out in the drawing. Also, along with having NINE secret symbols hidden therein, there is a Jazz Pickle, too, which isn’t one of my official symbols. Give yourself 75 bonus points if you find all nine, plus the pickle. (more…)

French Ape Bird Billy

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Versatile Businesses of Yesteryear.

 

 

The first two cartoons shown here are some fun wordplay. The “Miss France” cartoon is reminiscent of some of the gags I’ve heard regarding the “Free Tibet” movement, wherein someone adds “with every purchase” to the end. I love that kind of gag. (more…)

Ape Creep Athlete Finger

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Bizarro is brought to you today by How Hair Grows.

I’ve been watching the new Cosmos series on Fox television recently and it’s really wonderful. I highly recommend it to anyone of any age with a working brain. They discuss evolution quite a bit, of course, since it is the way the entire universe more-or-less works, so this gag appealed to me. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #34

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(Click on any image to enbiggenize it.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Baboon Spotting.

Have you been dying to see some funny, funny pun you thought of illustrated by a syndicated cartoonist? I doubt it. But if you have, this is your chance. The puns in my Sunday Punnies series are all submitted by readers like you. Look at the bottom corner of each panel and you’ll see a name that COULD BE YOURS AT SOME FUTURE DATE! Wow. That’s exciting, isn’t it? (more…)

Where The Heart Is

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Yes. Obviously. Duh.

 

 

Here’s one of those rare cartoons that came from my own personal experience. It documents how I lost my medical license, which is why I became a cartoonist. I’ve yet to fully replace my income as a surgeon, however.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you heard any of my music? I have four original songs on this EP and I’d love it if you gave them a listen and enjoyed them thoroughly. It’s not a money-making project, for sure, but the songs cost 99 cents each. SO CHEAP compared to all the laughs I’ve given you over the years! Find it on Amazon, iTunes, or any of those streaming things like Spotify. They aren’t comedy songs, but some of the lyrics are perhaps a bit amusing. Here’s one from a song on this album called “Brooklyn”–– (more…)

Fear Fear Mob

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Required Reading.

 

In spite of the look of this cartoon, it actually has nothing to do with politics. I’m not making a comment about Republicans here, only using their logo because it is an elephant and peanuts would logically be afraid of elephants. Any botanist will tell you that peanuts are known for their logic. I stay away from politics much more these days than I used to because it’s such a disheartening subject. (more…)

Tattoo Find Funny Age Gumby

bz panel 03-08-14bz strip 03-08-14Bizarro is brought to you today by a Prison For Bearded Children.

We start this post with last Saturday’s cartoon, which I have not posted yet because I was on a secret CIA mission to the moon. It was lovely up there but I was almost killed by secret agents from somewhere in the Andromeda galazy. Damn, it’s exciting being a cartoonist. (more…)

History Lesson

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Protecting Your Chocolate With Nails.

For centuries, people have thought that the pyramids in Egypt were burial thingies because mummies have been found inside. But archeologists have discovered that this was actually a later adaptation of the pyramids, which were originally built as ski slopes. We now know that aliens (from what is now Mexico) visited Egypt in the -23rd century and sold the local Tut on investing in what they promised would be a huge moneymaker for the region. They taught them how to build pyramids but it took them so long to complete them that the aliens lost interest before they were finished and returned home before giving them the formula for artificial snow. The gigantic construction project cost a fortune and became a huge embarrassment to the local politicians who approved it, so the locals killed them and buried them inside the phony mountains. (more…)

Meeting “God”

Yesterday, my girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and I were invited to sit in on a table read of the first episode of the new season of The Simpsons. If you’re not familiar with this term, it’s when a whole lot of people involved in the show––directors, producers, actors, writers, etc.––sit around a large table and read a new script. From this, the people involved are able to see what parts of the script are successful and which need work. Outside observers are often brought in so that those already familiar with the script can judge their reactions. (more…)

Paint Sniff Click Sneak

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Master Race.

 

Time to play catch up again. I was out all day yesterday and met one of my comedy idols completely accidentally, which was a huge thrill! My next post will be about that.

 

For now, let us examine this handful of cartoons from this week. All of them are pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t go into a big story here except to say that the one about telephone tech support reminds me of another connection I made once while in a cab in NYC. (more…)

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