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Waiting to Exhale on Godot

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Truth in Advertising.

 

 

I’ve heard from lots of people that they particularly like this Godot gag. I think it’s because those of us who get it know we are in a minority so it makes us feel smart. This clever gag comes from my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, who’s never short on brains. Like Beckett, he’s a dour sort of guy who struggles with existence every day of his life. If I didn’t employ him to color my weekday gags, he’d likely be living in a cardboard box under a bridge. With the money I pay him, however, he’s able to afford to live in a tool shed at a golf course. Not bad for an artist! (more…)

Old Anxiety

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Bizarro is brought to you today by And Poor Spelling?

To my thinking, growing older is the greatest mindfuck in the human experience.

I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but for me, even though I’m in my mid-fifties, I don’t feel any older inside my head than I did when I was 21. My father, who is 78, reports the same experience. I’ve never completely felt like a “grown up,” except during times when I’m putting up with things like divorce, death, financial chaos, trying to make sense of mail I get from the IRS, etc. But when I put on a suit and talk to a loan officer, lawyer, my accountant, a judge, what have you, I always feel like a kid pretending to be an adult and I hope no one notices. Is it possible that the authority figure I’m talking to is doing the same thing? Is that judge wearing an Incredible Hulk T-shirt under his robe? (more…)

Lifestyle Variations

bz panel 02-17-14bz strip 02-17-14bz panel 02-18-14bz strip 02-18-14Bizarro is brought to you today by My Previous Job.

 

 

I am fortunate enough to have spent very little time in my life working in traditional offices. I’m really not very good at being a team player, following rules, sitting quietly through meetings that aren’t about me, performing tasks I don’t care about, etc. In short, I’m an artist and we make fairly terrible employees. But I can easily imagine the torture that most people go through in those settings, hence cartoons like this one. (more…)

Bizarro Original Art for Sale

This week finds some

RARE ORIGINAL ART FROM BIZARRO UP FOR AUCTION

at eBay. It’s one of my favorite gags and has some pretty nifty artwork and a hand-drawn color guide that went to the printer with it. Check it out here––bid often and generously!

The images below are what’s for sale. Go to the eBay page for larger versions with more detail. Thanks! (more…)

Quicksand and Tubas

Bizarro 02-16-14 hdrWEB Bizarro 02-16-14 WEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Scotch Tape Boutique.

Today’s cartoons bring us three pieces of art that I quite like, if I may be so immodest. The header panel is one I’ve used many times over the years in different variations. Here’s it’s earliest incarnation.

 

The “House of Rope” cartoon was inspired by the Scotch Tape Boutique from an old Saturday Night Live sketch, with the great Fred Willard as its proprietor. I was musing about a specialty store that had little chance of surviving––unless the owner had a clever way of soliciting business.  (Click on any image to enlargify it.) (more…)

Magic Chuckle Time

bz panel 02-15-14bz strip 02-15-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Easy At-Home Magic.

I remember the first time I visited a magic shop. I was about 8-years-old and was brought there by my grandfather. My cousin and older sister were with us as I recall, and we each were allowed to pick out one “trick.” The funny thing is that I don’t remember the trick I bought because the one my sister bought was the one that ended up fascinating all of our relatives when we got back home. I vividly remember being so jealous that she had made a better choice than I had. (more…)

My Valentine (comic)

bz panel 02-14-14bz strip 02-14-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Annual February Punch.

Happy Singles Awareness Day, Jazz Pickles!

I’m the sort of guy who feels sorry for hypothetical strangers, so Valentine’s Day always makes me a little sad for people who find the holiday making them sad. My advice to those of you who may be experiencing unwanted loneliness today not to let holidays invented by a greeting card company disturb your peace. (more…)

Music To My Ears

PiraroAlbumCoverSMwebLike most arty types, I have a variety of interests. I’ve always enjoyed writing, oil painting, sculpture, cartoons, and I also write music. For the first time ever, I’ve posted some professional recordings of some of my songs. I sing and play rhythm guitar on the album, my good buddy, Tiny Tony T. Smith plays “fancy” guitar and did all the recording and mixing. You can have the whole EP for $3.96 on iTunes, Amazon, and some other places that sell music. Or, you can stream it on Spotify and those kinds of places. I assume I’ll never make any real money from these efforts, but artists like to share their work so here they are. I hope you’ll give them a listen and let me know what you think. Unless you think I suck. (more…)

Shrinks, Nuts, Crooks, Tramps, Cons

bz panel 02-10-14bz panel 02-11-14bz panel 02-12-14bz panel 02-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Fetish.

 

As is often the case, my Monday and Tuesday were too busy with Bizarro deadlines for me to post, then I got arrested on Wednesday and was still unable to post, but now I’m out on bail so here at long last are Mon’s, Tues’s, Wed’s and Thurs’s cartoons from this week. (more…)

Victors and Spoils

Bizarro 02-09-14 hedrBizarro 02-09-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Required Reading.

I have a friend who lives in Dallas, Texas or somewhere like that, named Brian Levy.  He sends me about 50 fragments of cartoon ideas every week. Most of them are just interesting musings, a few have inspired me to cartoon ideas that I’ve actually used. This one was brilliant, I thought, and it came just in time for the opening of the Olympics. As you can see, Bigfoot (Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman) has won gold, the Loch Ness Monster snagged the silver, and Waldo must go home with Bronze because although he is very good at hiding, he has actually been found by millions of children on a fairly regular basis. In my opinion, he could take a lesson from Bigfoot. (more…)

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