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Eggs Duo Sticks Eggs

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Bizarro is brought to you by No Thanks, I’ve Already Got One.

 

My good buddy and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, wrote this gag for me because I have restless leg syndrome. My eggs are fine, though. Any way you look at it, this is a good yolk. (As in “joke”. Get it? ahahahahahah) (more…)

Flying Dead Geezer Brain

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Bizarro is brought to you today by But What If I Have One?

 

 

As funny cartoons about dogs go, I think this one holds its own. What’s funnier than a dog trying to fly? As I write this, I’m pondering whether I’d rather have a dog that can fly or one that just stands up and flaps his arms. I think the latter would be more fun, although the former would be more lucrative. (more…)

1 Weird Trick

Bizarro 04-13-14 hedrBizarro 04-13-14 WEBonetip-300x278Bizarro is brought to you today by Truth in Advertising.

If you’ve been loitering on the Interwebs recently, you’ve likely noticed a ton of these badly written and drawn ads for “1 weird trick” to do everything from reducing your belly fat to building muscle to learning a foreign language. As painful as it was for me to draw and write in that style, here are a few of my own suggestions of weird tricks. Follow them at your own risk. (Kids under 18: Ask your parents before chopping off body parts, being imprisoned in a foreign country, or playing with poisonous snakes.) (more…)

Watch Kitty Tax Guano

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Bizarro is brought to you today by One-Stop Shopping For Female Psycho Killers.

My girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and I are going to a “half-Halloween” party in a week. That’s where you pick a weekend about in the middle between two Halloweens, and a group of you show up at a designated bar or whatever, wearing costumes. It’s based on the theory that Halloween is too much fun to only have once a year. (more…)

Falling Depth Arm Philosophy

bz panel 04-07-14bz strip 04-07-14bz panel 04-08-14bz panel 04-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by But I’m Vegan.

 

Happy early April, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been as busy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lately as I plan to escape Bizarro International Headquarters next week for a bit of time off. Yes, even super-human cartoonists need time off from comedy from time to time, so I’ll be going where nothing is ever funny: Oklahoma. (more…)

Tentacles

Bizarro 04-06-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 04-06-14 WEB(To be with bigger cartoons, click on any tentacle.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Kickin’ It Old School.

It’s election season in the U.S. again, somehow, and the usual crop of ne’er do wells is up and running. I used to follow politics closely but in recent years I’ve thought better of it and I’ve been happier for the decision. Accordingly, I thought this cartoon would be a good lesson for any alien species considering taking over the planet. (Side note: Can you spot your Grand Imperial Exalted Jazz Poobah in this cartoon? If so, put a few bucks in the tip jar at right to celebrate your cleverness!) (more…)

Escape Photo Evidence Beer

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Go To Mate.

 

One enduring question of evolution is why sea creatures began slithering onto land. In the first cartoon of this post, I present my theory.

 

 

 

 

 

My second cartoon today is another of my Bigfoot renditions, of which I’ve done many. A few people have asked me what this one means, exactly. If you are one of those who are wondering, I would ask if you’ve ever tried to get a good picture of Bigfoot. (more…)

Smiley Fez Icing Smut

bz panel 03-31-14bz strip 03-31-14bz panel 04-01-14bz strip 04-01-14bz panel 04-02-14bz strip 04-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by A Good Read.

 

As I’ve mentioned here before, I design and draw my cartoons to fit into the vertical “panel” format, then reposition that art and add to it as necessary for the horizontal “strip” version. So I think most of my gags work better as panels, but in this case, the strip works better because we get a better sense of the speeding taxi. In both frames, however, the hapless texter gets flattened. (more…)

Potatoes ‘n’ Peanuts

bizarro 03-30-14 hedrWEBBizarro 03-30-14 WEB(To witness a more bigger cartoon, click on any piece of furniture.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Everyone’s Favorite Toy.

I’ve always loved Mr. Potato Head and have done quite a few cartoons about him. The title panel at left, in fact, is a picture of me from when I was about three-years-old. I often dressed as Mr. Potato Head in those days, much to the chagrin of my parents. (more…)

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