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Where The Heart Is

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Yes. Obviously. Duh.

 

 

Here’s one of those rare cartoons that came from my own personal experience. It documents how I lost my medical license, which is why I became a cartoonist. I’ve yet to fully replace my income as a surgeon, however.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you heard any of my music? I have four original songs on this EP and I’d love it if you gave them a listen and enjoyed them thoroughly. It’s not a money-making project, for sure, but the songs cost 99 cents each. SO CHEAP compared to all the laughs I’ve given you over the years! Find it on Amazon, iTunes, or any of those streaming things like Spotify. They aren’t comedy songs, but some of the lyrics are perhaps a bit amusing. Here’s one from a song on this album called “Brooklyn”–– (more…)

Fear Fear Mob

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Required Reading.

 

In spite of the look of this cartoon, it actually has nothing to do with politics. I’m not making a comment about Republicans here, only using their logo because it is an elephant and peanuts would logically be afraid of elephants. Any botanist will tell you that peanuts are known for their logic. I stay away from politics much more these days than I used to because it’s such a disheartening subject. (more…)

Tattoo Find Funny Age Gumby

bz panel 03-08-14bz strip 03-08-14Bizarro is brought to you today by a Prison For Bearded Children.

We start this post with last Saturday’s cartoon, which I have not posted yet because I was on a secret CIA mission to the moon. It was lovely up there but I was almost killed by secret agents from somewhere in the Andromeda galazy. Damn, it’s exciting being a cartoonist. (more…)

History Lesson

Bizarro 03-09-14 hdrWEBBizarro 03-09-14 WEB1(Click on any image to biggify it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Protecting Your Chocolate With Nails.

For centuries, people have thought that the pyramids in Egypt were burial thingies because mummies have been found inside. But archeologists have discovered that this was actually a later adaptation of the pyramids, which were originally built as ski slopes. We now know that aliens (from what is now Mexico) visited Egypt in the -23rd century and sold the local Tut on investing in what they promised would be a huge moneymaker for the region. They taught them how to build pyramids but it took them so long to complete them that the aliens lost interest before they were finished and returned home before giving them the formula for artificial snow. The gigantic construction project cost a fortune and became a huge embarrassment to the local politicians who approved it, so the locals killed them and buried them inside the phony mountains. (more…)

Meeting “God”

Yesterday, my girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and I were invited to sit in on a table read of the first episode of the new season of The Simpsons. If you’re not familiar with this term, it’s when a whole lot of people involved in the show––directors, producers, actors, writers, etc.––sit around a large table and read a new script. From this, the people involved are able to see what parts of the script are successful and which need work. Outside observers are often brought in so that those already familiar with the script can judge their reactions. (more…)

Paint Sniff Click Sneak

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Master Race.

 

Time to play catch up again. I was out all day yesterday and met one of my comedy idols completely accidentally, which was a huge thrill! My next post will be about that.

 

For now, let us examine this handful of cartoons from this week. All of them are pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t go into a big story here except to say that the one about telephone tech support reminds me of another connection I made once while in a cab in NYC. (more…)

Hot Tub Surgery Funeral

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Part-Time Job.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I can’t stand the idea of working for a company and having to go to meetings. Most people find a way to get through it, some probably actually enjoy it, but we artistic types live primarily inside our own heads so it is difficult for us to pay attention to people talking for long periods of time. No amount of note-taking would work for me. I’d forever be wondering what was said and then I’d get fired. A hot tub would help, though. (more…)

Playing Catchup

bz panel 02-26-14 bz panel 02-27-14bz panel 02-28-14 bz panel 02-29-14bz strip 02-29-14Bizarro is brought to you today by L.A. Celebrity Sighting.

 

My usual computer had a nervous breakdown last week and has been in the hospital. Since then, I’ve been using an old, outdated laptop made from logs held together with rope and tar. It’s been a challenge. I have, however, figured out how to get it to work on posting these blogs, in spite of the colonial-era operating system and browser, so here are the cartoons from last week that I’ve not been able to post until now. (more…)

Original Bizarro Art Up For Adoption

There’s another bit of original Bizarro art for sale on eBay until next Wednesday. This one is special, so check it out.

I really love this art and I hope it finds a good home. I rarely do multi-panel, “story” cartoons so this one stands out among my work. The old-school color guide was a nightmare to produce but it makes a great companion piece. Frame them both together and you’ll have something pretty unique in your palatial estate, which is guaranteed to be a real conversation party at state dinners and seasonal balls. (more…)

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