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Big Serpent Crash

bz panel 05-19-14bz strip 05-19-14bz panel 05-20-14bz strip 05-20-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Last Delicious Thing You’ll Ever Eat.

 

I’m not a fan of people who abuse those in the service industry. As soon as I see someone being rude to a waitperson or counter clerk (unless that person was a jackass first) I write them off as insecure and of low moral standards. If you are that person, I hope the Head Waiter is right behind you. (more…)

Snoopy Clog Rock Apple

Bizarro 05-18-14 hedrBizarro 05-18-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Unreasonable Request.

There’s been quite a lot about the NSA in the news lately and, even though I have given up the idea that a government or the law can be “fair,” the fact that our own government is spying on us is deplorable. Many great minds have said something like: You have to choose freedom or safety, you can’t have both.  Personally, I’d rather be more free and less safe, but that’s just me. (more…)

FOOD FIX!

Now Available! Bizarro Bunny’s Pie Repair T-shirt!

This is a LIMITED TIME OFFER, so very soon the window of opportunity to possess this fine expression of art and comedy will SLAM SHUT on your regretful fingers.

Conscious and semi-conscious Jazz Pickles alike will remember that just a few months ago, I offered a limited-time sale on my first Bizarro Jazz Pickle T-shirt. Hundreds responded with a click of the purchase button and are happier today because of it. Some are even in a state of nirvana. And several are in the state of Nevada, of course. (more…)

Archer Troglodytes Chasing Download Destruction

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Appetizing Image.

My first offering this week is a collaboration with my good friend and colleague, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I like this gag a lot. For the sake of accuracy, I have William reading the fourth line, in case you’re wondering which colors coincide with the names of the apples he is identifying. (more…)

Bonus Post

Here are a few fun things.

First, my buddy Jim Horwitz (aka JimmyHo) writes a comic called “Watson.” It’s a quirky little feature, to be sure, and Jim tends to meander all over the place with it but that’s exactly what I love about it. And I particularly adore his artwork. In spite of how they look, they are not printed in newspapers with the reverse side of the page bleeding through, that’s some kind of wacky Photoshop trick that JimmyHo has devised. I’m no novice at Photoshop, but I have no idea how he does this. It’s cool, though. (more…)

Saggy Cat

Bizarro 05-11-14 hedrWEBBizarro 05-11-14 WEB(Make any cartoon bigger by clicking the crap out of it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by More Than One Could Expect.

 

It’s been over 20 years now that I’ve been expecting the baggy pants fad (or “rodeo clown look”) to fade but I remain unsatisfied. In thinking about this amusing fashion, I wondered if other generations have had similar problems. Voila! A cartoon. (more…)

Vengeance Isolation Evil

bz panel 05-09-14bz strip 05-09-14bz panel 05-10-14bz strip 05-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Just Do It.

As I knew I would, I got more than a few questions about the meaning of this cartoon. Many seem to have assumed that the man to the left of the king is Christopher Columbus. He is not, he’s just a member of the court dressed the way those guys used to dress. (more…)

Reap Hat Wig

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Bizarro is brought to you today by But What’s the Red Pipe For?

When the Grim Reaper comes a reaping at your door, will he be able to speak to you without a larynx? Can he sneeze without lungs, a mouth, or sinus cavities? Can you knock him down an run since he has no muscles to hold him up? For that matter, how does he hold up that heavy scythe? (more…)

Beiber Dogs Dog

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Real Men Sleep in a Suit.

 

I’m not a big fan of Justin Bieber but that may be because I’m a cranky, old geezer. Or, it could be that  I need more substantive music. Or, it may be that I hate anyone who is rich, famous, and has a full head of hair. Or, it could just be that I am petty and resent him because he did what I could not––become a wealthy, teen-age sex symbol by the age of 15. Such is human nature. (more…)

Hen Nose Poop Motel

bizarro 05-04-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 05-04-14 WEB(You want some bigger cartoonage, Mr. Coolpants? Click any green spot on any image below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Jazz Pickle or Zucchini Fanatic?

It’s no secret that the overwhelming majority of psychics are charlatans, but it has been my experience that a desperate chicken will go to any lengths to understand it’s road-crossing behavior. Unfortunately, that particular enduring question of the ages is still unresolved. (more…)

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