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Quicksand and Tubas

Bizarro 02-16-14 hdrWEB Bizarro 02-16-14 WEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Scotch Tape Boutique.

Today’s cartoons bring us three pieces of art that I quite like, if I may be so immodest. The header panel is one I’ve used many times over the years in different variations. Here’s it’s earliest incarnation.

 

The “House of Rope” cartoon was inspired by the Scotch Tape Boutique from an old Saturday Night Live sketch, with the great Fred Willard as its proprietor. I was musing about a specialty store that had little chance of surviving––unless the owner had a clever way of soliciting business.  (Click on any image to enlargify it.) (more…)

Magic Chuckle Time

bz panel 02-15-14bz strip 02-15-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Easy At-Home Magic.

I remember the first time I visited a magic shop. I was about 8-years-old and was brought there by my grandfather. My cousin and older sister were with us as I recall, and we each were allowed to pick out one “trick.” The funny thing is that I don’t remember the trick I bought because the one my sister bought was the one that ended up fascinating all of our relatives when we got back home. I vividly remember being so jealous that she had made a better choice than I had. (more…)

My Valentine (comic)

bz panel 02-14-14bz strip 02-14-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Annual February Punch.

Happy Singles Awareness Day, Jazz Pickles!

I’m the sort of guy who feels sorry for hypothetical strangers, so Valentine’s Day always makes me a little sad for people who find the holiday making them sad. My advice to those of you who may be experiencing unwanted loneliness today not to let holidays invented by a greeting card company disturb your peace. (more…)

Music To My Ears

PiraroAlbumCoverSMwebLike most arty types, I have a variety of interests. I’ve always enjoyed writing, oil painting, sculpture, cartoons, and I also write music. For the first time ever, I’ve posted some professional recordings of some of my songs. I sing and play rhythm guitar on the album, my good buddy, Tiny Tony T. Smith plays “fancy” guitar and did all the recording and mixing. You can have the whole EP for $3.96 on iTunes, Amazon, and some other places that sell music. Or, you can stream it on Spotify and those kinds of places. I assume I’ll never make any real money from these efforts, but artists like to share their work so here they are. I hope you’ll give them a listen and let me know what you think. Unless you think I suck. (more…)

Shrinks, Nuts, Crooks, Tramps, Cons

bz panel 02-10-14bz panel 02-11-14bz panel 02-12-14bz panel 02-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Fetish.

 

As is often the case, my Monday and Tuesday were too busy with Bizarro deadlines for me to post, then I got arrested on Wednesday and was still unable to post, but now I’m out on bail so here at long last are Mon’s, Tues’s, Wed’s and Thurs’s cartoons from this week. (more…)

Victors and Spoils

Bizarro 02-09-14 hedrBizarro 02-09-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Required Reading.

I have a friend who lives in Dallas, Texas or somewhere like that, named Brian Levy.  He sends me about 50 fragments of cartoon ideas every week. Most of them are just interesting musings, a few have inspired me to cartoon ideas that I’ve actually used. This one was brilliant, I thought, and it came just in time for the opening of the Olympics. As you can see, Bigfoot (Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman) has won gold, the Loch Ness Monster snagged the silver, and Waldo must go home with Bronze because although he is very good at hiding, he has actually been found by millions of children on a fairly regular basis. In my opinion, he could take a lesson from Bigfoot. (more…)

BBQ and Death

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Cross-dressing in the 19th Century.

Even though Jazz Pickles tend to be smarter than the average rabble, not all of us are good at punctuation, spelling, and grammar. But surely you can see how the comma in the expression on the apron at left changes everything. By the way, if you are blissfully unaware of idiotic meme products, “Kiss the Cook” has long been a standard saying on novelty aprons. Although, once 89 million of them have sold, they are anything but a novelty. (more…)

Rare Humorous Art Sale

JAZZ PICKLES: ONLY A FEW HOURS LEFT TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN YOURSELF!

My good friend and frequent collaborator, Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay, is selling four of his prized possessions––original art panels from Bizarro which I gave him in return for his humorous efforts therein––in order to buy a piano for his young, very talented son.* (more…)

Clean Fun

bz panel 02-06-14bz strip 02-06-14Bizarro is brought to you today by How to Dress When Meeting the Prime Minister of Canada.

 

I really love this gag and wish I’d written it. It actually came from my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. He can be a very clever man when properly medicated. It’s been in my cartoon bullpen warming up for months but I saved it until Chinese New Year, in case any of my readers have any idea when that is. (I had to look it up.) (more…)

Git Along Gals

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Purdy Dresses.

 

A good buddy of mine and a talented stand-up comic, actor, and cartoonist, Michael Capozzola, and I collaborated on this gag. Funny thing is that over the years a number of readers have suggested a cowboy walking into a salon thinking it was a saloon but I never felt it was enough all by itself to support the gag. Michael came up with the pun independently, but his idea to have the hombre identify himself as “half blind” and “illiterate” put it over the edge for me, so I drew it. Here’s multi-talented Michael’s multi-talented web site. Have a visit. (more…)

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