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bz panel 02-01-14bz strip 02-01-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternative Marriages.

Since California is a big agricultural state and much of that is fruit, they’re really picky about letting people into the state with food items that might carry some kind of insect that is bad for local crops. I guess fruit flies are the ones I’ve heard most about. They don’t thoroughly search every car so I don’t know how well it works, but it does cause a traffic jam at the borders, which is always a good time to check your email and Twitter feed while you wait.

My manager, the inimitable Jeff Topper, and I collaborated on this gag after he was strip-searched at the Cali border recently. I am happy to report they did not find any insects or food hidden on him.

Have you heard my new EP? It’s available on Amazon, Spotify, and iTunes at this very moment! It’s my serious/musical side and you can experience the whole thing for less than 4 bucks!

DEJA VIEW: bz 08-09-02 cat yogaOne of our venerable Jazz Pickles asked me to post this cartoon from 2002, so here it is. In the past year I’ve gotten into yoga, something I would have denied I would ever do a few years ago. It’s been very good for me and I highly recommend it. I wish I’d started it years ago.

Original Bizarro Art

Dang, Jazz Pickles, it’s been a busy day here at Bizarro International Headquarters. This is my last post of the day, I promise. (Not that anyone else cares how many times I post in a day.)

Just wanted to tell you there’s a swell piece of my original Bizarro art on ebay till next Tuesday. This one is a 1996 Sunday cartoon image, so it’s nice ‘n’ big, and it includes one of my rare hand-crafted color guides, which is how I communicated what CMYK colors went where to the printers,  before I could color my own cartoons on Photoshop and send them the file.

The images below show what you can bid on. CLICK on them for a HUGE view.These have been going for very low prices so jump on in––you’re likely to get a great deal!



Groovin’ Pickle Pubah

I just released an EP of four of my original songs & you can get them on iTunes! I’m so excited I may have pooped my pants!

Nope, false alarm, it was just my TV remote. I’ve been looking for that thing since yesterday. But I really did post my songs on iTunes so please check them out and buy the whole EP. It will cost you a full $3.96, which is a small price to pay for all of the enjoyment I’ve given you with my cartoons all of these years, right? Here’s where you can go to indulge my rock star fantasy. You can also find me on Spotify and a few other of the typical music outlets online! Just search under my name, which is Dan Piraro.

The attractive image below is my album cover. I hope you get that the picture is supposed to be campy/retro.  Many thanks to my girlfriend, Olive Oyl, for figuring out how to get these damn songs on the Intertubes. I’ve looked into it off and on for a couple of years and always gave up in tears. She’s the best!

Also a million thanks to my good buddy, Tiny Tony T. Smith of Tulsa, Oklahoma. We recorded these songs in his home studio and he did all the mixing and engineering, plus he plays all of the fancy guitar parts on the songs. I play the rhythm guitar and do all the vocals and whistling, and wrote the songs, of course. A word of warning, these are not comedy songs. You may find some of my lyrics amusing but overall, these are serious songs about different things that were rattling around in my brain carton. I can’t say what musical category they’d fall into other than “alternative.” My style tends to roam around a bit from genre to genre.

If you like them, please forward the info to friends and give me some good reviews on whatever site you find them on. If you do your job, this time next year Tony and I could be coming to your town with a 19-piece band, pyrotechnics, and KISS-style platform boots!



Big Feet, Big TV

Here’s a tip for the Jazz Pickle Jar. Tonight at 10 and 11PM Eastern and Pacific, on Spike TV, are TWO episodes of “10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty.”  If you enjoy watching rednecks scrounging through the woods chasing unicorns and tooth fairies as much as I do, you’ll love this.

One team on the show is using live women as bait because they believe Sasquatch is attracted to menstruating females. Yes, I’m serious. Take a look at this clip and tell me these guys aren’t natural comedians. In the last seconds, they find something in the woods that they believe will snag them the $10 million.

I’ve not spent any time looking for Sasquatches, but I’ve done a lot of gags about them. Here’s one from 1996 that I happened across in my archives this week.

bz 10-04-96 BigootWEB

Four Funnies

bz panel 01-29-14 bz panel 01-30-14 bz panel 01-31-14

Bizarro is brought to you today by Denim Abuse.

How would you like to enjoy a little light comedy with me? Okay, follow me.


Our first entry is from Dan Piraro of Los Angeles, in collaboration with successful TV comedy writer, Andy Cowan (Seinfeld, Cheers, Third Rock from the Sun, etc.)  Dan’s and Andy’s funny idea was if the murderous character from Alfred Hitchcock’s iconic “Psycho” were applying for a job to run the Bates Motel. Watch out for that shower, mister!





Our second offering today is from another guy named Dan Piraro (what are the odds?)  Here, Mr. Piraro is imagining a lovely young woman breaking up with a person (man? woman?) who is dressed as a clown. No wonder she’s breaking up! Who wants to date someone who dresses like that on a date?! OMG!







Finally, we have another collaborative effort from yet another Dan Piraro (!!!) and someone with the unlikely name of Wayno. I have no idea what this one means but the gentlemen at the table are certainly dressed colorfully! Wayno has a few words to say about his part of this effort here on his daily blog.  Apparently he and Piraro have done 150 cartoons together in the past five years! Quite a milestone for these young bucks!






JAZZ PICKLE JAR: bz 03-03-03RealBatmanWEBAnd, from 2003, comes another take on the same question of what Batman might eat.

We hope you have enjoyed this little stroll down humor lane.

One Day Left

There is only one day left to get your official Bizarro Jazz Pickle Pride shirt, then the design will be retired.

I hate to keep banging this drum but I know that as soon as I retire this design, people are going to be begging me to offer it again because they didn’t get one before the deadline. I can hear it now, “I was in ICU and they wouldn’t let me use a computer,” “I was held captive by a tribe in the jungles of Borneo and didn’t find out about it until I was released,” and “My head was stuck in a pitbull’s mouth.”  I’m sorry for all your problems, of course, but now that I’ve made a big deal out of retiring the design (and making it a COLLECTOR’S ITEM!) I can’t go back on my word.JazzPickleShirts#1

Go here to fix yourself up real good with one of these rare shirts. As of this writing, you’ll own a piece of Bizarro memorabilia that less than 300 other people in the entire world will own! (Yes, I’ve sold some to foreigners so the shirts will be spread out all over the planet, limiting your chance of showing up at a party wearing the same shirt as someone else to 702,547,666,890 to one.*)

*This is an approximate number I arrived at by typing randomly.JazzPickleT02WEB

The Best Things In Life Are Expensive

bz panel 01-28-14bz strip 01-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Art Imitates Life.

I often find the world of advertising and marketing pretty offensive. Not in the typical ways––too sexual, too violent, etc.––but because they so often offend my intelligence. Wouldn’t it be great if I could think of a perfect example of such a thing right now? But I can’t.

One reason I can’t think of one is that I avoid ads of almost all kinds at all cost. I watch virtually no television live, so I fast forward through all commercials religiously. If it is impossible to fast forward, I mute them. The stupidity of the overwhelming majority of TV commercials is unbearable, whether they’re trying to get me to fill my body with toxic fast-food garbage because of the cool music the cool people who go there are listening to, or buy a car because a sexually attractive woman appears to be in heat as she drives it.

But the saddest thing about this topic is that ads are this dumb because they work. Which means most consumers are stupid enough to buy into what they are selling. Are you moved by a soldier in the desert saving a kitten? Then you’ll want this brand of insurance, whether they plan to deny your claim or not. Do you think rednecks driving in circles are heroes? Then drink this beer, regardless of how much like dirty water it tastes.

But a Barbi Bear is different. I would totally buy one of those for myself. And it’s the perfect gift for that future “plushy” child you know.

PICKLED JAZZ: bz 10-03-97 DogPorscheWEBThis elderly cartoon of mine from 1997 tells a similar story about human nature in a material society. I’m not saying I’m much different, of course. I long for things I see in the world around me, too. I’d love to have a Tesla luxury sedan, for instance. Shame on me.

A New Reality

My precious Jazz Pickles,

I’ve survived yet another “end of the world” and to celebrate I’m making this incredible announcement:

I’ve been involved with a top secret television project!

You may be delighted, disgusted, outraged, or intrigued to learn that for the past many months, I’ve been involved with a top secret television project. I can’t disclose many details yet but there will be elements similar to my notorious 1990s country-wide tour during which I stayed in the homes of my fans and they introduced me to their wonderful (and sometimes strange) lives and communities.

If YOU would be interested in having me drop in on YOUR life for a couple of days (camera crew in tow), please send an email to me at and tell us what you would do to entertain me and what unique, compelling, curious, and/or “bizarro” aspects of your life, household, family, and location might make for good television. Don’t be shy, I want to hear from you. Without you, there is no show!

Unlike the Mayas and their apocalypse hoax, THIS IS FOR REAL.

Vetting for my first hosts and location is starting today, so hurry! (Not a hyperlink, just copy it and email me!)

Live Comedy For You

If you’re anywhere near Mill Valley, California, which is up in Marin County across the bridge from San Francisco, go see my buddy Will Franken do his thing. It’s a unique, one-man, theatrical comedy show the likes of which you’ve not seen before. Once you’ve seen Will do his thing, you’ll go back again and again. I guarantee it.

Will Franken’s Last Stateside One-Man Show: “Bright Yellow Circle”

Thursday, July 19th


The Throckmorton Theatre

142 Throckmorton Avenue, Mill Valley, CA

$18 general ($21 day of the show)

Probably best to buy tickets online — there’s been a lot of interest/momentum churning about this appearance:



>Not To Be Missed


The Grand Imperial Poobah of Uncategorizable Comedy is in Los Angeles this weekend. If you’ve never seen him, rush to get tickets. If you’ve seen him before, you’re already rushing.

His words:
Will Franken’s One-Man Holiday Show: “Texas Chainsaw Yuletide”
Friday, December 3rd (8pm) and Saturday, December 4th (10pm)
Theatre Asylum
6320 Santa Monica Boulevard, Hollywood, CA
Only $15

Here’s a link where you can score some tickets straightaway —

If you want to see a reprise of my much-heralded twenty-five minute closer “Michael Caine Returns Home to the Village of Taliashire After Being Kicked in the Head By a Horse and Visited By The Ghost of Marlon Brando” as well as the new pieces, “Gay Raphael the Flaming Archangel” and “Vegetarian Dingo Testifies on His Own Behalf”, this is the place to do it.

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