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Cuckoo Time

bz panel 11-20-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Perfect Hangover Snack.

Well, now. This is a weird little gag about a cuckoo clock that sees a shrink. I can only imagine the sort of twisted mind that would arrive at this scenario, and it belongs to my good buddy and cartoony colleague, Dan McConnell. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy? (more…)

Dusty Dashing

Bizarro 11-17-13 WEBbizarro header 11-17-13(Make it as big as a real stadium by clicking on the microphone!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The All-Seeing Exalted Jazz Poobah.

Who among us (with an I.Q. in triple digits) has not wondered how mummies continue to catch their victims while being as comically speed-challenged as they are? I certainly have and so that’s why this brilliant idea by my good buddy and colleague, Dan McConnell, tickles me so much. He doesn’t explain the science behind it, but he has found a funny way to extend the motif. (more…)

Tough Guys

bz panel 11-15-13bz strip 11-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Public Service Announcement.

Greetings, Jazz Pickles. This is your Grand Imperial Exhalted Jazz Poobah here to say that once you’re a Jazz Pickle, you may call me “Poobah Pickle.” If you catch anyone outside of our ranks calling me that, slap them upside the head with a piece of soggy pie. (more…)

“Royal” Proclamation

bz panel 11-14-13bz strip 11-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by On The Floor?

Greetings, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been doing some thinking about my role in the Bizarro Empire and have been wondering if the moniker I’ve been using to refer to myself, “Supreme Jazz Pickle,” properly denotes the extreme honor and privilege of my office as leader of such an impressive empire of funny and smart people as you, my beloved Jazz Pickles. (more…)

Theft Humor

bz panel 11-11-13bz panel 11-12-13 Bizarro is brought to you today by The Key to Your Future.

Things are heating up here at Bizarro International Headquarters. Not because I’m working on a January launch for my new podcast, not because a feature-length animated film of Bizarro is being produced by Steven Spielberg (no such film exists) but because I’m warming some bean dip on the stove. I’m feeling snacky. (more…)

Frigid Friends

Bizarro 11-10-13 WEB Bizarro 11-10-13 hdr WEB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(To make it bigger, touch a snowman’s stick.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Snowvictims.

In most parts of the U.S.A. it isn’t snowy yet, but I like the simple sweetness of this gag and I’ve been holding onto it for months so just pretend you live in Minnesota or deepest, darkest Canada. Or be thankful you don’t, depending on your climate preferences. Me, I’m happy I’m here in Southern California where snow is something you snort, not trudge through. (more…)

Not a Garage Sale

bz panel 11-09-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Relaxing Saturday Afternoon Tea Party.

I suspect that most of the people who read my cartoons on this blog don’t actually read the hilarious and thought-provoking copy that I add alongside. So, just for you, my most precious and loyal Jazz Pickles, I will tell you a super exciting secret. In January I’ll be launching a Bizarro podcast! It will be called the Bizarro Podcast and it’s going to be awesome. All of the same hilarious and thought-provoking irreverence you’re accustomed to on this blog, but with my hilarious and thought-provoking voice and personality to boot. (Where the hell did “to boot” come from? Strange expression.) (more…)

Letter of the Law

bz panel 11-08-13bz strip 11-08-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Another Fun Funeral.

If I may be so immodest, I’d like to say that I love this cartoon. I’m particularly proud of the drawing of the contrite, partially-clad office nitwit clutching his clothing in shame after what must have been a misguided attempt to make his coworkers laugh. Or perhaps he was caught in the supply closet with an intern. Whatever the reason, this joke floats my boat. (more…)

Visible Humor

bz panel 11-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Funeral Fun!

The Invisible Man’s selfie is a zen joke. So little there, but so many philosophical interpretations. Does one truly exist if one is invisible? Was the Invisible Man naked when he took this or is it a closeup of just his face? What would God’s selfie look like? Would a smart phone be able to compensate for the blinding light of His omnipotence so you could actually make out the long, white beard and the vengeful, jealous look in his eyes? (Nahum 1:2-8)  Now that I think of it, is the Invisible Man’s selfie in the same category as Anthony Weiner’s selfies? If so, I clandestinely managed to get porn into newspapers all over the world. (I’ve not posted the strip version of this because, guess what, it’s no different.)bz panel 11-07-13 (more…)

Big Fat Scum Bear

bz panel 11-02-13bz strip 11-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Most Inspirational Art You May Ever See.

I’ve been a bad Jazz Pickle in Chief lately. I forgot to post this cartoon from last Saturday and I’m already two days behind on this week’s. Things have been chaotic and very busy at Bizarro International Headquarters lately. Please accept my apology, I hope it has not negatively affected your Jazz Pickle experience. (more…)

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