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Dummy Drawings

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horse In The Road.

Bizarro 06-28-15 hdrWEB

I’ve been on holiday for a couple weeks (SO rare for me!) and so now that I’m back at headquarters I feel as though I’ve been thrown from a speeding car onto a highway full of emails. Ugh.

Meanwhile, here are the cartoons that published while I was away and that I’ve not posted here yet.Bizarro 06-28-15 WEBBreaking up is never fun, even when one of you is made of wood and plastic. Bizarro 07-05-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 07-05-15 WEbHere’s another in my ongoing series of Sunday Punnies, which are puns that readers send to me and I figure out a funny way to illustrate them. Congrats to Dennis Barley, Kelly Cox, and Ed Saugstad for submitting this batch! Side note: The bunny in the title panel and at the top left of the Sunday Punnies is not the usual Bizarro Bunny, but her boyfriend, Sterphen. (That’s not a typo, that’s how he spells his name.)

bz panel 06-22-15I don’t know if “peep show” is even a phrase anymore but it used to be. It referred to commercial establishments where one could see fairly nekked ladies, I think.bz panel 06-23-15I didn’t go to college so I can’t be sure, but I’ve always figured it would be something like this.bz panel 06-24-15I don’t recommend trying this on the streets unless you’re wearing a good lice repellent. bz panel 06-25-15One thing I hate about the neighborhood where I live is that it is illegal to park on the streets between 2am and 5am. I hate those kinds of laws, which always seem to me to be fostered by some control freak who just as to meddle in the lives of their neighbors. A friend of ours didn’t know about this law and left her car in the street overnight while housesitting for us and got a ticket. Obviously, once car isn’t a party. Seems like a warning would be the decent thing to do in a case like this. Assholes.bz panel 06-26-15I know there’s only supposed to be one Anti-Christ but there have been times when I was certain both of my ex-wives were it. I was wrong about the first one, jury’s still out on the most recent.bz panel 06-27-15I like supermodel puns because I can’t think of a single thing about any supermodel that is super. Except maybe their bank account.bz panel 06-29-15Lately I’ve been running across people who come from enormous families of 8 or 10 or 12 siblings. If anyone out there has this problem and is wondering where the kids keep coming from, I’d be happy to draw you some diagrams.bz panel 06-30-15This cartoon is as close to a Dilbert gag as I typically get.bz panel 07-01-15There’s an old saying that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I’m just explaining why.bz panel 07-02-15I’ve never bought into that myth that all people are created equal. Some folks are just hopeless.bz panel 07-04-15Footlong hot dogs are things I’ve made fun of in cartoons before. I wonder why I spelled “hotdog” as two words in the caption and why my editor didn’t tell me to change it. BTW: The price signs have a gag or two in them.bz panel 07-03-15I’m so glad my parents aren’t the meddling type. Once my sisters and I were adults, they’ve always left us to make our own decisions unless we ask their opinion. Some of my friends are not so fortunate with their parents.

Don’t forget to sign up for email alerts whenever I post a new blog. There’s a window in the margin for that. Also, I’m on instagram now, like a fully-modern human! I think you can find me under DanPiraro. Hope to see you there!

 

Silly Sauce

Bizarro is brought to you today by My Dad and Me in 1974.Bizarro 06-21-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 06-21-15 WEBIf you’re wondering what this gag is about, it may be because you don’t know that an Appaloosa is a popular breed of horse. I only know this because I watched a lot of westerns with my dad when I was a kid, which, from my perspective, makes this a good cartoon for Father’s Day. Over the years I’ve often put a “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!” message along the border of my cartoons for this day but in this case I was unaware it would be Father’s Day when this published (I’m required to submit Sunday cartoons many weeks ahead of the print date) so it didn’t happen. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Dad!bz panel 06-15-15I’m not normally jealous of the lives of cats, but when I see them sleeping I often wish I could be as comfortable as they obviously are. The key is flexibility, I think, and I’ve never been a flexible person. I’ve been taking yoga a few times a week now for nearly three years and though I’ve improved a LOT, I’m still not very flexible by human standards. Just genetically cursed in that regard, I think.bz panel 06-16-15This dental one is a goofy gag and a goofy drawing but it made me chuckle so I offer it to you. Sometimes goofy is just what I need. On a side note, “Gene” seems like a terribly “white” name, doesn’t it? I’m guessing there aren’t many black men named Gene.bz panel 06-17-15One of the things I enjoyed about the many westerns I watched as a kid was the seemingly magical ability of Indians to track people. I especially liked it when they would put their ear to the ground and tell you how many riders were coming and how close they were. What?! I’m guessing that was a Hollywood fabrication but maybe some people could actually do that, what do I know?bz panel 06-18-15I like this gag a lot because I’ve always thought that the “official” American attitude towards sex and nudity causes a lot more problems than it solves. Having been raised in such a sexually repressive and puritanical society, I find myself uncomfortable with it, too, but that doesn’t keep me from seeing how ridiculous it is. Like author Chris Ryan, PhD., (Sex at Dawn) I suspect that the societal sexual oppression of teenage boys is what causes a lot of misogyny and abuse of women. If teenagers (of both sexes) were allowed to experiment with sex with proper birth control and disease protection, but without the negative stigma of labels like “slut” and all the antiquated religious nonsense that we’ve whipped up over the centuries, people would be better adjusted and society would be subjected to less aberrant behavior. Just my humble opinion.bz panel 06-19-15I first submitted this cartoon back in the 2000s, during W. Bush’s presidency and amid his whirlwind of lies about Iraq. My editor at that time wouldn’t let me publish it because he said I couldn’t say, in effect, that the president was full of shit, as it would lead to cancellations in conservative markets. Times have changed, however, and this time the cartoon sailed through without so much as an eyebrow twitch. I don’t know if it is because liberals are much less sensitive to derision than their conservative counterparts (which I believe is true) or if it is just a less controversial notion that all politicians lie. Back then, many Americans were on a patriotic witchhunt for anyone not supporting the war, too, so that might have been part of it. The editor who made that decision passed away some years ago so I can’t ask him.bz panel 06-20-15My last offering this week is this lovely festival queen. No back story here, just a little giggle.

DON’T FORGET THESE THINGS: You can get a lovely color print of any cartoon on this website by finding it in the calendar function at Bizarro.com (click “Home” at the top of this blog page), then clicking “Buy Prints” link below. Makes a classy, unusual gift.

You can sign up for email notifications each time I post a blog by putting your email addy in that space over in the right margin. It’s fun and easy and I promise not to let anyone else have your address and start sending you emails about storm windows.

Circular Chuckling

Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Jiggle.

I’m trying a new format today to see if it reduces some problems some folks have viewing this blog on various futuristic devices. Let me know if this is better or worse.

ALSO: Always remember that cartoon prints make affordable and classy gifts for yourself, friends, family, and enemies alike. Just find the image you want using the Bizarro.com calendar thing, and click the “buy prints” link below!Bizarro 06-14-15 hdrWEB

(Click the image below to make it oh so much enlargered.)Bizarro 06-14-15 WEBIf I may be immodest for a moment, I really like this gag and think it is my best drawing of the ocean I’ve ever done. Not that cartoons have to be well drawn, they don’t. In fact, I think a case could be made that I’ve often over-drawn my cartoons. So maybe this is just my most over-drawn picture of the ocean.

This past week’s cartoons looked pretty much like this:

Monday: Real estate agent and fish. Create your own backstory here. Did he put the fish there so he could pretend to be a real estate agent? Did the fish answer an ad in the piscean version of Craigslist? (Codslist?) Is “piscean” even a word? (Yes, but it doesn’t mean what I’m using it for.)bz panel 06-08-15Tuesday: It’s always fun to think about how you might have done something differently, or how the entire species might have. It’s no use whatsoever, but it can be fun.bz panel 06-09-15Wednesday: How many eyes does a common housefly have? Only two, but each one has around 4000 lenses. See how educational this comic can be?bz panel 06-10-15Thursday: This cowboy cartoon gave me a chuckle. And drawing “cats” in the Jazz sense, was lots of fun. (No, that’s not a mime with a saxophone. It’s a beatnik.)bz panel 06-11-15Friday: I guess this is my favorite gag of the week. Mostly because I so vehemently detest the baggy pants fad that has been around for the past 20 years. The fad itself is a zombie: ugly, dangerous, shuffling, impossible to get rid of completely. I’ve done many cartoons about it, here’s my favorite.bz panel 06-12-15Saturday: I don’t know what to say about this one other than that I like the uniforms.

bz panel 06-13-15Quick bits of business: Only three days left to grab one of my limited-edition Bizarro Jazz Pickle shirts. It’s the fourth in a series and is the definition of a collector’s item!

I’ve posted some new sketch cards in the original art section of the Bizarro Store. Check them out here. These also make unique and thoughtful gifts. Oh yes, they do.

Grin and Bear It?

Bizarro 06-07-15 hdrWEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Art Supplies In The Wild.

As you regular readers of my work well know, I affectionately call regular readers of my work “Bizarro Jazz Pickles”. I can’t remember why, but that’s what I call you. To show my appreciation, (and to enable me to continue to offer all of my cartoons to you for Bizarro 06-07-15 WEBFREE on this blog!) I have created a series of special designs on T-shirts. Each is limited edition and is only on sale for two weeks. The fourth in this series (and the first one in more than one color!) is available now, for ten more days only. Grab one or more here and show your pride in being a Bizarro Jazz Pickle! 

Now for this week’s cartoons, starting with today, Sunday: Bears are scary. Super smart bears with sign painting capabilities are even scarier.

bz panel 06-01-15 Monday: People rarely go to 3-dimensional banks anymore but if you did and there was a fortune teller behind the counter instead of a bank teller, you might find it bz panel 06-02-15amusing.

 

 

 

Tuesday: I have a neighbor who coaches his son in baseball in their backyard every night after dinner and though he isn’t this kind of dad, it made me think of this gag. My eldest daughter, Krapuzar, played baseball on a boy’s team when she was ten years old (because there were no girl’s teams in our area) and there were dads like this. One of them openly objected to her being allowed on the team because she didn’t have a penis. My original impression of him was that he was a dick but bz panel 06-03-15 after getting to know him, I also thought he was an asshole.

Wednesday: There was a typo on my part in the published version of this gag that appeared in newspapers around the world. I put 193 million miles instead of the correct distance of the sun –– 93 million miles. I misread my map, I guess. So bz panel 06-04-15 embarrassing.

Thursday: If you haven’t heard, there are a LOT of problems with America’s industrialized food system, only one of which is antibiotics in meat. It’s a very bz panel 06-05-15serious health threat to the human species, but in this case it’s a little amusing.

 

 

 

Friday: Don’t you hate it when something is the wrong size and you have to bz panel 06-06-15return it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday: There’s no simple answer why I wrote this gag about a nerd and his girlfriend. I just thought it was funny that he thinks he’s dating someone from another century. That seems like something a certain kind of nerd would find appealing.

That’s it for this week. Please do consider snagging a T-shirt from me, it really does help keep the lights on at Bizarro International Headquarters since most people read my work on the Interwebs for free. :^}

I WANT A BIZARRO T-SHIRT! YES, I DO!

 

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Cat Fancy

Bizarro 05-31-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Love.

Just got back from a weekend in San Francisco, a city that Olive Oyl and I dearly love and would live in if it weren’t for the weather. Unless the sun is shining, I’m genetically programmed to be a serial killer, so I try to live where my neighbors and loved ones will be safe.

Here are the cartoons that ended the month of May for Bizarro 05-31-15 WEBBizarro. For the unaware, one of the longest-running TV shows in American history was a western called Gunsmoke (1955-1975), and a main character in the show was a saloon gal named Miss Kitty. In reality she would’ve been a prostitute, but they never mentioned that in the show. My grandfather saw every episode and I watched many of them with him when I was a kid in the ’60s. I have since wondered from time to time why “Cat” and “Kitty” are fairly common names but “Dog” and “Puppy” never caught on.

bz panel 05-25-15 Earlier in the week I did some other cartoons that looked exactly like the ones posted here. Ever been to couples counselling? Sometimes it’s a bit like the old Rock’em Sock’em Robots toy. I loved that toy. Couple counselling, not as much.

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Shark week is a popular TV thing on one of the cable channels but I have to admit I’ve never seen a single show. That kind of stuff doesn’t appeal to me for some reason.

 

 

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Here’s a fun little pun from the Old West. This is not Miss Kitty. This is Crystal, the waitress with a heart of gold and a rash she’s never been able to completely get rid of.

 

 

 

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Even though the wedding I attended last weekend was fancy-schmancy and there were a lot of very proper people in attendance, there were a couple of pretty saturated folks by the end of night. Would it be a wedding without some? Well, yes, but probably not one worth attending.

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I thought of this gag as soon as I heard that cops in certain cities were going to start wearing body cameras. It’s always exciting to come up with a good gag that is very timely but with a typical syndication schedule it still takes several weeks to get something through the pipeline and into the papers.

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I love this pun about the popular book/film Fifty Shades of Grey. It was the brainchild of my good buddy Cliff The King of Wordplay. Everyone I know comes up with puns but Cliff’s are so unexpected. I’m in awe of the way his mind works.

Super busy with art right now so I’m outta here. I’m going to post some new sketch cards in a day or so. Weeeee!

 

Midnight Crush

Bizarro 05-24-15 hdrWEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Delicious Insect Vomit.

The tremendously gifted artist, Tim Biskip, once said that he is an artist so he can create things he wants to see but that don’t exist. I’ve never put it in those words but that’s the fun of cartooning, too: creating a moment that doesn’t exist in the real world but would be funny if it did. I really like this idea of Bizarro 05-24-15 WEBcombining Cinderella with Godzilla. She attacks the castle, chews on a tower, midnight strikes so she must run but the prince has already fallen in love. All he has left of her is a minivan-sized, three-toed glass slipper. So romantic.bz panel 05-18-15 bz panel 05-19-15 bz panel 05-20-15 bz panel 05-21-15 bz panel 05-22-15 bz panel 05-23-15

THE WEEK IN BIZARRO CARTOONS LOOKED LIKE THIS:

MONDAY: Up until very recently, the vast majority of people lived their entire lives without seeing a new invention. In the last couple hundred years, people might see one or two truly new things in their life. Now there are so many new things each day that you can’t keep track of them all. Once adopted, we don’t know how we lived without them. But we did. This time next week, no one will be able to imagine how people lived in a world without teleportation. “It took them hours to cross the country by plane!”

TUESDAY: What if life spontaneously erupted on the globe in your kid’s room? Would you even realize it was there before it evolved sufficiently to create a space program?

WEDNESDAY: I guess I was thinking a lot about technology and innovation when I put this batch together. I’m not sure what the practical application of an invisible wall would be, but I’m sure someone would come up with one.

THURSDAY: Here’s an unsettling idea about a man’s content. Now that I’m past fifty, I’m beginning to notice a marked settling of my own contents. I blame Sir Isaac Newton and his invention of gravity.

FRIDAY: Yes, I’m one of those people who believes that corporations are destroying America. Sure, we get plenty of cheap stuff from them that we might not have with small, individually owned businesses, but eventually they control so much of the economy that they get their fingers into politics and begin running things. What Walmart does to small towns, is what corporations are doing to the world; small businesses can’t compete with their prices so Mom and Pop lose their store and have to go to work for Walmart. From business owner to minimum wage overnight. Fox News will tell you all kinds of reasons why corporations are good but guess who programs Fox News.

SATURDAY: I’ve long enjoyed reading about anthropology and often fantasize about the simplicity of the lives of the hunter-gatherers who lived before the invention of agriculture. I think the modern idea that prehistoric life was not nearly as difficult or stressful as anthropologists and philosophers once assumed is likely correct. Oh well, no going back now. At least not willfully. A collapse of our current matrix of technology may put us there again one day, though without having been raised in that lifestyle, it will be anything but idyllic.

ANNOUNCEMENT OF INTEREST: 

Don’t forget to pop by the new Bizarro Store. You need more cool art in your life and you know it.

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Fear of Farm Girls

Bizarro 05-17-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Alex Trebek Sighting.

I made a mistake in today’s Sunday comic and I didn’t catch it until it was too late to stop it from getting into print. I’ve posted the corrected version here but the inferior one is in papers all over the world today. In the version with the screw-up, the caption reads, “Farm Bizarro 05-17-15 WEBgirls, scarecrows and tin men, oh my!” I guess I was writing it correctly, instead of mimicking the way the similar line was said in the film, with the extra “and” between “farm girls” and “scarecrows”. Arrrrggghh. I know it’s no big deal but it bugs me and I wish I’d caught it sooner. On the bright side, there are still seven secret symbols to look for, which you can find more easily by clicking the image and making it larger.

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Let’s review the rest of the cartoons from the past seven days, shall we? (I’ll take your silence as a yes.)

Monday: I once did a cartoon about a guy playing checkers with a dog, I think, so here’s someone playing Scrabble with a cat. Most of the cats I’ve lived with seem to enjoy sitting on whatever I’m working on: artwork, keyboard, sandwiches, you name it.

Tuesday: I used to see commercials on TV all the time for the Hair Club for Men but I haven’t in a while so I hope it’s still a thing people remember. I don’t watch TV commercials at all, really, so I’ve no idea if these guys still advertise. They have a website, of course, but so does everyone and everything that has ever existed since the Big Bang.

Wednesday: Olive Oyl and I moved to a neighborhood recently that has a lot of big parrots screaming through the skies. I’ve seen the small parakeet-sized ones in American cities before but these are larger and look like the ones in this cartoon. They’re descended from escaped victims of the pet industry, of course, so that’s why they inspired this cartoon.

Thursday: Yes, I know almost no one uses a telephone with a cord and receiver like the one in this picture anymore, but I couldn’t do the gag without the old-fashioned phone so let’s just pretend these guys are “retro”.

Friday: I came up with this gag because I get stopped in public often by people who think I’m Bradedict Cumberpitt (a combo of Benedict Cumberbatch and Brad Pitt.)  But seriously folks, I was actually asked about a week ago if I was Les Claypool. I knew he was a musical type affiliated with a band called Primus but I had no idea what he looked like so I Googled him just now and was quite surprised by the resemblance. Since I’ve grown a beard, I not only look a lot like him, we dress very much alike, too. I hope no one thinks I’m a fanboy. Ugh.

Saturday: I like this gag about the wildebeest. Wildebeests are one of those rare things whose name is easy to imagine the roots of. European explorer from ages ago on his first trip to Africa: “What are those wild beasts?” Other guy with him: “No idea. You get to name them.” First guy: “Let’s call them Wildebeests.” Second guy: “Okay, but I get to name those things over there and I’m not going to call them ‘Stripy Horses’.”

SPECIAL OFFER: I’m about to publicly launch a new store on this site (in a few days) but it’s already live and you can shop there now. Here’s the deal: by the time I announce the new store (midweek?) I’ll have raised my prices on Original Cartoon Art from Bizarro (cartoons from the syndicated Bizarro feature) and on the Hand-Drawn Sketch Cards.  To reward you for reading all the way to the end of this post, you can grab something at the current price before it goes up. Click on the “Store” link at the top of this page to find out what’s being offered and for how much. By Wednesday, the prices listed now will change. Everything in both of those categories is one-of-a-kind, original, hand-drawn art from my lap to yours.

Yuck It Up!

Bizarro 05-03-15 hdrWEb(For a bigger-looking cartoon, click it!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Millennial Confusion.

If you’ve ever been to the taping of a TV show, you know that those with live audiences are driven like slaves building the pyramids to laugh and applaud and hoot and holler and gasp Bizarro 05-03-15 WEBand whistle as though they’re having the times of their lives. The less funny the show is, the harder the audience wrangler has to work. It’s just one more aspect of TV that isn’t what it seems, like the scripting and multiple takes on “reality” TV shows. While I think this is notable and funny, I don’t actually think it is wrong. TV shows of this sort are theater, and by definition, aren’t meant to be real.

To be upset that the laughs on a sitcom are added electronically or the arguments on Real Housewives of New Jersey are scripted is like being upset that Scarlet Johansson isn’t really a martial artist. What is upsetting, however, is when shows portraying themselves as journalism are finagled for the sake of ratings. That happens a lot, too.

Going back in time (not really, cartoons are a kind of drama, too) let’s review last week’s gags…

bz panel 04-27-15Monday: Town criers used to play the same role as a newspaper so this one is adding a crossword puzzle to his format. I resisted having him describe a Garfield cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday: You bz panel 04-28-15may not get this gag if you’ve never heard the expression, “I’ll dance on your grave,” which is used in an effort to express to someone how much you dislike them. I’ve never actually said this but I’ve thought it bz panel 04-29-15a few times.

 

 

 

Wednesday: I’ve often looked at thrones in museums and wondered how anyone could comfortably sit in one of those things for five minutes, much less for as long as it takes to declare war on a neighboring kingdom or hear a peasant’s request for justice. Today’s thrones are much more user friendly.

 

bz panel 04-30-15Thursday: This is one of those rare cartoons that was inspired by my own personal experience –– I got an email from a Nigerian prince once and was almost eaten by a cat.

 

 

 

 

 

bz panel 05-01-15Friday: This hasn’t ever happened to me but it is weird when you get to an age where many doctors and all cops are younger than you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

bz panel 05-02-15Saturday: I think a treadmill for a tightrope walker is amusing. I wonder if there’s a stationary machine of some kind for trapeze artists to use.

Here’s another treadmill gag of mine from a while back that I also like.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’ve signed up to be notified by email when I post on this blog, you must sign up again. The last program crashed and the addresses were lost. The box to sign up again––or for the first time––is in the right margin of this and every post! I’ll never sell or share your email address, so it’s safe. Thanks, Jazz Pickles!

Soupy Giggles

Bizarro 04-26-15 HdrWEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Plans.

My Sunday cartoon this week is a bit odd and I knew it would attract some questions. The most common question I’ve gotten about it so far is something along the lines of “What does this mean?”

Well, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a fun bit of nonsensical wordplay in the tradition of Bizarro 04-26-15 WEBthe original bz panel 04-20-15Monty Python TV show or the brilliant work of my official favorite cartoonist, B. Kliban. It was suggested by a bz panel 04-21-15friend of mine though I didn’t credit them and now I can’t remember exactly whom it was. Was it Keith? If so, thanks, Keith! If not, sorry someone else!

Earlier last week I had the following bits of fun…

Monday: The tale of the man bz panel 04-22-15who did not control his Sharpie. A modern tragedy that plays itself out daily in spite of numerous public service announcements warning people of the dangers.

Tuesday: Despite it’s corniness, most people chuckle at this one. This cartoon is historically accurate, by the way, as it was well documented that wearing one’s boots backwards negatively bz panel 04-23-15affected one’s shooting accuracy.

Wednesday: This one was inspired by the Chinese proverb, “He who ignores the clam, also probably ignores shellfish.” Need I say more?

Thursday: My internet buddy, Michael Lagace, tossed me the word “dinoisseur” and this is what I did with it. Michael is the guy behind a graphic novel project that I blogged about recently.

 Friday: I had a bz panel 04-24-15friend once whose wife was so jealous that she would punish him if their waitress was too good looking. Once she even punched him hard in the shoulder with her fist as soon as the waitress left the table. I should mention that I never saw my friend making any observable attempt to admire the bz panel 04-25-15waitress. Anyway, I figured more than one person had this problem so I made a cartoon about it.

Saturday: I’ve been thinking a lot about the collapse of society recently and it has led to gags like this one. Once the infrastructure collapses and there is no TV, Internet, or cell service, fighting for resources will likely be the most common pastime. Just a thought.

Enjoy your week, Jazz Pickles. I’m adding some new pages to Bizarro.com soon that will feature some original art I have for sale so I hope some of you will avail yourselves of a piece or two. After the apocalypse, you’ll wish you had some interesting art to gaze at between battles over canned food.

 

 

GMO Shuffle

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Bizarro 04-19-15 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by The Three Stooges.

A few years ago we had a very long and spirited debate on this blog about the dangers/benefits of GMO crops. People I trust were on both sides of the issue so in the end, I wasn’t sure if I’m for or against them. Like most things, there are likely good and bad elements to the practice

bz panel 04-13-15 bz panel 04-14-15 bz panel 04-15-15 bz panel 04-16-15 bz panel 04-17-15 bz panel 04-18-15and there is definitely a lot of false propaganda about the subject. But this cartoon isn’t about that, it’s just a ludicrous look at a “what if” scenario. If this damn blog site is working properly, you should be able to click the image for a larger view so you can see some of the background elements better.

As for my other cartoons in the past seven days, let’s sally forth…

Monday: The American health care industry is insidious in my opinion. Don’t get me started.

Tuesday: An idea from my good buddy, Cliff The King of Wordplay. This one is so dry you’ll need to reach for a cold beer after reading it, but that’s what I like about it.

Wednesday: I’ve never been to a speed dating event but I’ve heard of them. It’s where lots of single people all get together in a big room with lots of small tables for two and I guess you jump from one person to the next, spending just a few minutes chatting up each person and seeing if you get a spark that you might want to pursue later. I envisioned a “too much information” guy and used a rough version of my own romantic biography for his line.

Thursday: My buddy Rick and I were having lunch one day and the topic of being able to throw a surprise party for a psychic would mean he/she wasn’t a very good psychic. We chuckled, I made a mental note and then later a cartoon.

Friday: My German pen pal and a writer in his own right, Michael Roth, tossed me an idea about a seeing-eye-snowdog and a snowman with no coals for eyes and I fashioned it thusly. It is sort of sweet with a touch of pathos. Heres an old favorite of mine from a few years back on a similar subject. Yes, it is late in the year to feature a snowman cartoon but my feature is called “Bizarro,” not “Normalo.”

Saturday: Just a bit of fun with a famous fictional character whose name is nothing more than a description of her clothing. I used it to make fun of two loooooooong-standing fashion trends that offend my eyes daily. As an artistic type, I find the poor fashion choices of others more distressing than others might.

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