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Holy Hate Mail

bz panel 12-26-13bz strip 12-26-13bz panel 12-27-13bz strip 12-27-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Sanforized Swinging.

I trust you all had a lovely holiday this week, except for those of you who disobeyed my command and had a lousy one. You should’ve listened to me.

As expected, I got a couple of complaints about my religious cartoon on Xmas Day. I post them here for your analysis. (more…)

Red-nosed Reefer

bz panel 12-24-13bz strip 12-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Family Time!

Oh, my, it’s Christmas Eve! Here at Rancho Bizarro (where I live, as opposed to Bizarro International Headquarters, where I and my team of mutant camels create Bizarro products) we don’t put up a tree, but rather a green folding chair with all of the delightful holiday cards we’ve received this season taped to it. So far, there are three, but the mail hasn’t arrived yet today. Thanks to my parents, Kate and Michael, and John and Anne, who sent cards. Your unnecessary depletion of our planet’s precious, life-sustaining forests is much appreciated! (more…)

Merry Corporate Machine

bz panel 12-23-14bz strip 12-23-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Importance of Font Choice and Kerning in Package Design.

If you read yesterday’s post, you know that I was deathly ill over the weekend. Thanks for all the well-wishes and home remedies, Jazz Pickles. I am happy to report that the Grim Reaper has been sent on his way with nothing to show for his trouble and I am miraculously well again. Sometimes it is good to have your ass kicked by Mother Nature for a day or two to remind you of what is truly important in life: Mexican food, scotch, cigars, and all of the other things you cannot enjoy when you can’t go more than a few minutes without barfing like a freshman on spring break. (more…)

Surreal Santa

Bizarro 12-25-11 Hedr WEBBizarro 12-22-13 WEBbz panel 12-21-13bz strip 12-21-13(To enlarge any image, click upon it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Party Attire.

As I write this, I am in hour 30 of a Bulimia-style crash diet during which I have been ejecting all food and liquid from my body through my mouth with great discomfort. I also have the accompanying aches and pains of such a condition, making me feel as though I’ve been thrown from a speeding car. So I’ll keep this brief. (more…)

Belts and Drugs

bz panel 12-19-13bz strip 12-19-13Bizarro is bbz panel 12-20-13rought to you today by Dead Sexy.

The rodeo-clown-pants fad has long been a favorite target of mine. When young men first started wearing baggy pants falling down below their butts, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen (and I was right) and I thought that given the unadulterated stupidity of it, and the inconvenience of shuffling around town with your pants half down as though you were using the toilet when the fire alarm went off, I thought the fad would pass quickly. (I was wrong.) By my unofficial calculations, these pants have been in style now for around 20 years. We now have an entire generation of children who will grow up thinking it is normal to wear comically-huge pants. It may be a sign of the apocalypse. So the idea of an international organization that provides belts to baggy-drawered boys is an appealing idea. Not that they would use them. (My apologies if I have offended any Jazz Pickles who wear comically-huge pants. You may make fun of my mustache if you like.) (more…)

Various Approaches

bz panel 12-16-13bz strip 12-16-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Ginger Bread House.

 

 

My old buddy, Dan McConnell has been thinking about fish again and in so doing, came up with this gag idea for me. One can’t help feeling sorry for the poor, struggling fish who has been flushed out of the tank, until one realizes it is not a real fish at all, but a drawing made to look like a fish. This is just part of the magic of cartooning.bz panel 12-17-13bz strip 12-17-13 (more…)

Kooky

Bizarro 12-15-13 Hdr WEB(To enlarginatify today’s kartoon, klick on the katalytic konverter of any kar in the lot.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Hostages.

Good Sunday, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to Karl’s Klown Kars. Karl is the kind of guy whose motto is “Why use another letter where a K will do?” He has krazy kavalkade sales on his klown kars each Kristmas and serves kamomile wine koolers to his kustomers. (more…)

Internet Holiday

bz panel 12-13-13bz strip 12-13-13bz panel 12-14-13bz strip 12-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Frozen Maxi Me.

It’s been a strange two days, Jazz Pickles. I’ve not been able to post anything on FB because I used a naughty word. If you’ve not read the story, see my previous post.

In addition to what I said yesterday regarding censorship, political correctness, and the power of Facebook, I’d like to say that Facebook has become, by its ubiquitous nature, a primary means for hundreds of millions of people to communicate for personal and business reasons. When FB shut me down, my blog readership plummeted because so many of my fans are used to finding out about it from my FB posts. This power that FB has is a new, gray area. I never thought about it before, but FB’s ability to damage the business and personal lives of their membership (estimated at over a billion) gives them a dangerous and unprecedented amount of power. I’m not sure what the answer is, but it’s a problem we should be thinking about. (more…)

I’ve Been Unliked

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Brother.

I’ve been in Facebook exile for the past 24 hours because I responded sarcastically to a childish insult left on my page. bz panel 12-12-13

This has nothing to do with the fact that today’s cartoon happens to be about Facebook; that’s just a coincidence. Evidently, one of the words I used in my reply to a comment left on my site is banned by the FB gestapo and I was given a “time out.” My response was removed, even though the reason I used the word was because I was sarcastically repeating a childish reference that the original commentator used. His openly belligerent comment, with the so-called offending word, was not deleted. The message I saw yesterday said I was banned for 12 hours. This morning, 24 hours later, I can view my page but I cannot “like,” comment, or post on it. They don’t say how long this particular punishment will last. (UPDATE: I’m back to full functionality on FB as of today, more than 48 hours later.) (more…)

Beasts of Love

bz panel 12-11-13bz strip 12-11-13Bizarro is brought to you today by I Didn’t Name This Album, I Only Linked To It.

Those living outside the Jazz Pickle Jar may think that Bunny’s Pie Repair has something to do with this gag but it doesn’t, really. It’s just a fun store to stand in front of when you’re part of a cartoon. (more…)

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