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King Duane

Bizarro 11-22-15 hdrWEB

(For an embiggenated view, click the vaccuum cleaner.)Bizarro 11-22-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by The History of Thanksgiving (USA)

My beloved Olive Oyl and I were discussing the current terrorism/refugee crisis and it occurred to us that what we really need right now is an alien invasion to unite the people of Earth against a common foe. Of course, substituting one set of problems for another isn’t a very good solution, but it would be nice (for once) to see people realizing that there are bigger issues in the universe than whether or not everyone else is praying to the same imaginary magic person in the sky as they are.
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Bark Bark

Bizarro 11-15-15 HdrWEB

(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it or something.)Bizarro 11-15-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making the Best of a Plumbing Leak.

I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that.
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Rodent Transportation

For the making of a biggerized image, click said image.
Bizarro 08-23-15 HdrWEBBizarro has NOT been brought to you today by Dismaland
Bizarro 08-23-15 WEBCoincidental to the publication of my Disneyesque Cinderella cartoon, was the opening a couple days ago of a very dark, strange, and elaborate art exhibition in England by world-famous guerilla artist, Bansky, called “Dismaland.” It’s not for everyone but I find it pretty amazing, particularly this reference to Princess Diana’s death. Banksy described the show as a “family theme park unsuitable for children”. To be clear, I knew nothing of the opening of this dystopian theme park exhibition; my publishing of a Cinderella cartoon today was entirely coincidental.bz panel 08-17-15Meanwhile, back in Bizarroland, a group of cowboys are fighting it out over the only horse in town. “One horse town” is an American expression referring to any remote, rural town that is so small it only has one horse. Or, in modern times, perhaps one car. In case you didn’t know.bz panel 08-18-15My buddy, Brian Levy, recently told me he was addicted to avocados and it sparked this idea. I didn’t name the main character Brian because I didn’t want to insinuate he has a drinking problem, but he later told me he wished I had used his name anyway. That’s just how desperate Brian is for attention. :^}bz panel 08-19-15Speaking of dismal, here’s a cartoon about the sort of travesty the fine art world is regularly involved in. Everything about this cartoon except the wording of the recorded tour is entirely true. I’d love to know what art historians will have to say about 20th century art in 500 years, assuming there is still a human civilization capable of caring about art.bz panel 08-20-15I particularly like this cartoon because I enjoy wordplay and strange grammar. My partner, Olive Oyl, can attest to how often I say things in alternative ways or intentionally mispronounce words. I find it amusing but I’m sure it’s quite annoying to the people around me trying to understand what I’m talking about. This can also pass as an editorial on lousy teachers, of which there are plenty. Teaching children, especially in public schools, is grueling, unenviable work and becomes more challenging each year. I think this makes the good teachers even more admirable and the lousy ones more understandable.
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Deadly Sins of Humor

Click any image to embiggenate it.Bizarro 08-16-15 hdrWEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Future Fashion Trends of the Universe.
Bizarro 08-16-15 WEBI hope you find this gag as humorous as I do. I was musing one day about Disney’s Seven Dwarves and the general personality types evident in their names and suddenly made a leap to the Catholic Church’s ancient seven deadly sins, which are wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, pride, envy, and lust. So I came up with seven dwarf-like names for each of these vices and I had a cartoon. I badly wanted “Frisky” to be named “Horny,” but that word is too scary for newspaper funny pages. bz panel 08-10-15Following is last week’s roundup, starting with this cartoon about the ultra eco-friendly Flintstone mobile. It is said that everything comes back into style eventually and the way our little life raft’s climate is changing, we may all be living in the Stone Age again one day.  bz panel 08-11-15This cartoon about an auction house harkens back to another famous Disney animated film, Cinderella. You may recall that her carriage on that magical night was made from a pumpkin and the horses that pulled it were rats or mice. Memory fails.bz panel 08-12-15I’m no more certain of what this sheep cartoon means than you probably are, so I’ll just let it sit and be whatever you want it to be. bz panel 08-13-15Since I was a child I’ve questioned our species’ shame over our bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a nudist and am just as vulnerable to feelings of embarrassment about such things as the average person because that’s the way I was raised, but I am able to intellectually see the ridiculousness of it. To me, it is clearly an attempt to control our sexuality, which became more important around 10,000 years ago when agriculture was invented and people began “owning” things and thus wanting to pass them down to their own offspring. I’m convinced that before that humans were much more liberal sexually, which is closer to our biological nature. That’s why monogamy is so difficult for most of us. For more fascinating info on this kind of thing, read “Sex at Dawn” by Christopher Ryan.bz panel 08-14-15This is a simple turn-around joke but I still really like it. A “lap dog” could either be one that sits on your lap or one that has a lap you could sit on. In the bottom corner you’ll notice a birthday message to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl. I did that because it was her birthday. Since we are both motorcycle enthusiasts, we took a ride on our bikes to a small, SoCal town and spent the night in a campy old motel that has been renovated for hipsters like us. It was fun. bz panel 08-15-15My Saturday gag for the week is about a lazy musician’s clever invention. I love that it works as a graphic because that’s how you’d draw a fast moving bow, but in reality, it wouldn’t look like it was moving at all. Hahaha. My eldest daughter, Krapuzar, was a pretty talented violinist as a kid and I still occasionally think of violin gags as a result.
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