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Disastrous Profits

Bizarro 08-10-14 hdrWEBBizarro 08-10-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Graffiti.

In this imagination of the not-too-distant future, I indulge the climate change deniers with a world in which they still run things. Corporations have found that there is still more money in pollution than in intelligent energy solutions, and so the human population of Earth is left wearing expensive contraptions to protect them from the hostile environment. (more…)

Supercizing

Bizarro 06-08-14 HedrWEBBizarro 06-08-14 WEB(I beseech thee to view larger versions of these cartoons by clicking them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anyone Know Who Did This Brilliant Cartoon?

As simple as this cartoon is, it was a pain in the cartoon ass to draw. One would think you could draw that damned treadmill once and then clone it but no, each is at a completely different angle and perspective so they all have to be drawn separately. Making them look identical was a chore. Notice I didn’t try to draw a gym full of workout machines behind them. Ugh! (more…)

Archer Troglodytes Chasing Download Destruction

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Appetizing Image.

My first offering this week is a collaboration with my good friend and colleague, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I like this gag a lot. For the sake of accuracy, I have William reading the fourth line, in case you’re wondering which colors coincide with the names of the apples he is identifying. (more…)

Noah’s Canoe

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(To see these images bigger, click on any character’s nose.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Passing of the Pickle.

 

My favorite part of this cartoon and the title panel are the drawings. The title panel art is a character I drew in one of my sketchbooks, which are full of strange things that I have no real use for in Bizarro, but I occasionally will use one for a title panel. (more…)

Relative Abuse

bz panel 10-02-13bz strip 10-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Wedding Party.

Chimp intelligence has long been a subject of intense study by us humans. There is a book by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Jared Diamond, called The Third Chimpanzee in which, among other amazing, fascinating scientific and historical observations, he makes a case for considering humans a third kind of chimpanzee (alongside the Common Chimpanzee and the Bonobo) rather than a whole new category of super-special, divinely-ordained, non-animal creatures. This book was seminal in forming my world view and I can’t recommend it highly enough. I agree with his assessment wholeheartedly and you can see evidence in the remarkable similarities of not only our bodies (around 99% identical DNA) but also our social behavior. (more…)

Loser Dingbat Sexy Hoax Pop-Tart Museum

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gay Police Raids.

It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon but that has nothing to do with me so I’m not going to get into it right now.

Instead, let’s talk about this week in Bizarro cartoons. Have you ever met anyone like Jason, who has virtually no chance of holding any kind of meaningful position in the world? If not, just go to one of your high school reunions and you’ll meet quite a few. As for me, my high school was full of independent-thinking, creative types and all of them (like myself) are scattered around the planet and too wrapped up in their own lives to organize reunions with any kind of regularity. Or, perhaps they just don’t invite me. Hmmm. (more…)

Cavalcade of Comedy Carnage

(To see a much big version of these cartoons, click them why don’t you?)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Have I Been?

Good gravy, Jazz Pickles, it has been a long time since I posted on my blog. I’ve been running around the Non-East Coast on a small comedy tour and that stuff is time-consuming, brain-eating, and deadline-threatening. But I’m almost caught up on life so I’m back to posting. Here now are a jilliondyfive cartoons to get you caught up on everything that has published since I last posted. Whew! (more…)

Girth Day Celebration

Bizarro is brought to you today by Girth Day.

I got a FrontOfYourHeadBook comment early this morning asking what this cartoon means. I suspected it might confuse a few people, especially those not familiar with environmental issues. This person was not a regular reader of Bizarro, and certainly not a Jazz Pickle by any stretch of the imagination because she also asked what the pie at the bottom left corner was about. (more…)

Clown Nose Tree

(To experience this cartoon LIFE SIZE, click the clown’s butt flag!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Hat.

I’ve never been one to find farts funny in real life. I’m not the sort to giggle when something smells bad. I’m more the sort to change my location. But this gag from my “known associate,” Wayno, is hilarious in my opinion (and odorless). Generally speaking, fart jokes, per se, are not allowed in newspaper cartoons but this one is so innocuous and ridiculous that it slipped through without a hitch. Well done, Wayno. He talks about it here, over at Rancho Wayno. (more…)

Environmental Bird Poo Pundit

Bizarro is brought to you today by Not My Lunch.

When drawing this cartoon I was looking on the Interwebs for reference for a Smart Car and found a picture of one that had actually been converted into one of these big-wheel beasts. Of course. I should have known someone would. How much did they spend? Was it worth it? Does he get paid for showing up places with it? Is there a point to it other than to own something weird? Not judging, just wondering. (more…)

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