Page 1 of 212

Close Shave

(Make your day largerized by embiggenating the following cartoon with a click to the executioner’s belly.)

A few commenters admonished me about the above cartoon because “beheadings are no laughing matter.” Then I got some comments about sensitive skin being no laughing matter, and one about big, hairy, shirtless men in leotards being no laughing matter. I totally agree with that last one.
(more…)

Smell Test

(Make an embiggenated version by clicking any Egyptian hieroglyph.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Strangers in Disguises.

Regular readers of my Bizarro blog are familiar with a guy whom I call “Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay.” Wordplay and puns are the easiest and most common kind of humor and cartoonists have varying degrees of tolerance for the category. Some will use any pun, no matter how predictable or lame, some, as a matter of principle, won’t use any pun, no matter how fresh. For me, it’s all about surprise; if a pun or a bit of wordplay surprises me and I chuckle, I’ll use it. This one made me chuckle a lot when Cliff suggested it and it still does.
(more…)

Mounted Head

(Use the embigennation feature* to find the hidden funny background stuff in these cartoons.)

*To embigenate an image, click on any solid object within that picture.

Bizarro has been brought to you today by Surrealism.

If you’re not familiar with surrealism or have heard of it but are not completely sure what it is, here is an explanation. Some would say that my cartoons are surreal because they typically illustrate very odd things happening to otherwise normal people, and they’d be right because that’s surrealism in a nutshell. For instance, today’s extra-wide-hootenanny-of-hilarity Sunday comic shows two men regarding a head of lettuce mounted on a wall. That’s not something one encounters on a daily basis. Another example of things not encountered diurnally is a mainstream, syndicated cartoon (Bizarro) that publishes cartoons on two subsequent Sundays that both feature heads of lettuce as their main subject. Search every Garfield cartoon back to the Middle Ages and if you don’t die from Repetitive Predictability Syndrome, you won’t find that.
(more…)

Pyramid Builders Union

(To embiggenate these images to “a million, a million and a half people on the mall,” click the invisible unicorn that dances on your imaginary rainbow.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternative Facts.

It was another supremely disturbing week in American politics and one wonders how long the pace of insanity can remain this furious. If you were under a rock last week and didn’t witness the ongoing carnival of spoiled brat billionaires trading your rights, ideals, and environment for cash in their pockets, definitely stay there. Do not come out. Under a rock is the only safe place to be right now.
(more…)

Tolerable Humor

(Be an embiggenator by clicking any object in these images that has curved lines.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Good Point.

Political correctness can be tiresome, to be certain. But in the end, it is nothing more than people in a society asking each other to be kind to others and make this a more pleasant world to live in. And even though some people get carried away with it and erroneously think that everything is an offense, the basic concept is not a bad thing.
(more…)

Institutional Solopsism

Bizarro 01-10-16 hdrWEB

(To add embiggenation to these cartoons, click any pinkish color within any image.)Bizarro 01-10-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Precious Moments.

I almost never write cartoons based on actual experiences but this one is an exception. I was sitting in a cafe one day having lunch with my beloved Olive Oyl, and in a booth in the corner was a young millennial couple doing what young lovers that age do: staring into their cell phones and completely ignoring each other. (This is the new look of courting, and wow, is it hot.) Suddenly, the young man said quietly and blandly, “selfie,” and they both came to life like corpses hooked up to a generator. They posed as though they were having the wildest time two humans could muster without being arrested, held it for 2.4 seconds, then went back to their cell phone comas as though it had never happened. I don’t think they spoke another word to each other or moved more than a degree or two in either direction until they left. I whispered “thank you” to the universe for dropping such a perfect cartoon into my lap.
(more…)

Moving Experience

Bizarro 09-06-15 hdrWEB

(For a larger viewing experience of the cartoon below so you can find its NINE secret symbols, clickify it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sore Throat Treatments of the Future.

Bizarro 09-06-15 WEBI got this idea because I used to live in a huge apartment building and it seemed there was always someone using the elevators to move in or out. It was like cramming yourself into someone’s tiny living room for a few seconds to get to your floor and it happened so often I began to wonder if they were living in there. Thought it was kind of funny.
(more…)

7 Days of Silly

Bizarro 02-15-15 HdrWEBBizarro 02-15-15 WEBbz panel 02-09-15bz strip 02-09-15bz panel 02-10-15bz panel 02-11-15a bz strip 02-11-15bz panel 02-12-15abz panel 02-13-15bz panel 02-14-15

(Make your comedy world bigger by clicking these comics.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Romance.

I hope you had a dandy Valentine’s Day this weekend. Olive Oyl (seen here with her grandmother) and I went to Topanga Canyon to visit some friends and take a lovely hike. Afterwards, the four of us went to a small, out-of-the-way Thai restaurant and had dinner with The Edge (guitarist for U2). And by “had dinner with,” I mean that he was at the next table with his wife and daughter and did not acknowledge our existence. But still, it was as close to having dinner with The Edge as we’ll likely ever get, so it was fun.
(more…)

Sideways

Bizarro 01-25-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 01-25-15 WEBbz panel 01-19-15bz strip 01-19-15bz panel 01-20-15bz strip 01-20-15bz panel 01-21-15bz strip 01-21-15bz panel 01-22-15bz strip 01-22-15bz panel 01-23-15bz strip 01-23-15bz panel 01-24-15bz strip 01-24-15(To witness the enlargification of any image in any of my blog posts, click them with conviction.)

Bizarro is brought to you this week by No Laughing Here.

I’ve been spending more time lately on my fine art so this museum gag especially appealed to me. The wordplay was devised by my good friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff The King Of Worldplay. If you don’t get it, you’re likely unaware that the terms “portrait” and “landscape” refer to the orientation of the rectangle: taller than wide is portrait, wider than tall is landscape. I could also have made this a picture of a painter and called it “Landscape of a Portrait Artist.” But I didn’t.
(more…)

Eggs Duo Sticks Eggs

bz panel 04-17-14bz strip 04-17-14bz panel 04-18-14bz strip 04-18-14bz panel 04-19-14bz strip 04-19-14

 

Bizarro is brought to you by No Thanks, I’ve Already Got One.

 

My good buddy and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, wrote this gag for me because I have restless leg syndrome. My eggs are fine, though. Any way you look at it, this is a good yolk. (As in “joke”. Get it? ahahahahahah) (more…)

Page 1 of 212