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Pyramid Builders Union

(To embiggenate these images to “a million, a million and a half people on the mall,” click the invisible unicorn that dances on your imaginary rainbow.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternative Facts.

It was another supremely disturbing week in American politics and one wonders how long the pace of insanity can remain this furious. If you were under a rock last week and didn’t witness the ongoing carnival of spoiled brat billionaires trading your rights, ideals, and environment for cash in their pockets, definitely stay there. Do not come out. Under a rock is the only safe place to be right now.
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Tolerable Humor

(Be an embiggenator by clicking any object in these images that has curved lines.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Good Point.

Political correctness can be tiresome, to be certain. But in the end, it is nothing more than people in a society asking each other to be kind to others and make this a more pleasant world to live in. And even though some people get carried away with it and erroneously think that everything is an offense, the basic concept is not a bad thing.
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Institutional Solopsism

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(To add embiggenation to these cartoons, click any pinkish color within any image.)Bizarro 01-10-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Precious Moments.

I almost never write cartoons based on actual experiences but this one is an exception. I was sitting in a cafe one day having lunch with my beloved Olive Oyl, and in a booth in the corner was a young millennial couple doing what young lovers that age do: staring into their cell phones and completely ignoring each other. (This is the new look of courting, and wow, is it hot.) Suddenly, the young man said quietly and blandly, “selfie,” and they both came to life like corpses hooked up to a generator. They posed as though they were having the wildest time two humans could muster without being arrested, held it for 2.4 seconds, then went back to their cell phone comas as though it had never happened. I don’t think they spoke another word to each other or moved more than a degree or two in either direction until they left. I whispered “thank you” to the universe for dropping such a perfect cartoon into my lap.
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Moving Experience

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(For a larger viewing experience of the cartoon below so you can find its NINE secret symbols, clickify it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sore Throat Treatments of the Future.

Bizarro 09-06-15 WEBI got this idea because I used to live in a huge apartment building and it seemed there was always someone using the elevators to move in or out. It was like cramming yourself into someone’s tiny living room for a few seconds to get to your floor and it happened so often I began to wonder if they were living in there. Thought it was kind of funny.
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7 Days of Silly

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(Make your comedy world bigger by clicking these comics.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Romance.

I hope you had a dandy Valentine’s Day this weekend. Olive Oyl (seen here with her grandmother) and I went to Topanga Canyon to visit some friends and take a lovely hike. Afterwards, the four of us went to a small, out-of-the-way Thai restaurant and had dinner with The Edge (guitarist for U2). And by “had dinner with,” I mean that he was at the next table with his wife and daughter and did not acknowledge our existence. But still, it was as close to having dinner with The Edge as we’ll likely ever get, so it was fun.
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Sideways

Bizarro 01-25-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 01-25-15 WEBbz panel 01-19-15bz strip 01-19-15bz panel 01-20-15bz strip 01-20-15bz panel 01-21-15bz strip 01-21-15bz panel 01-22-15bz strip 01-22-15bz panel 01-23-15bz strip 01-23-15bz panel 01-24-15bz strip 01-24-15(To witness the enlargification of any image in any of my blog posts, click them with conviction.)

Bizarro is brought to you this week by No Laughing Here.

I’ve been spending more time lately on my fine art so this museum gag especially appealed to me. The wordplay was devised by my good friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff The King Of Worldplay. If you don’t get it, you’re likely unaware that the terms “portrait” and “landscape” refer to the orientation of the rectangle: taller than wide is portrait, wider than tall is landscape. I could also have made this a picture of a painter and called it “Landscape of a Portrait Artist.” But I didn’t.
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Eggs Duo Sticks Eggs

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Bizarro is brought to you by No Thanks, I’ve Already Got One.

 

My good buddy and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, wrote this gag for me because I have restless leg syndrome. My eggs are fine, though. Any way you look at it, this is a good yolk. (As in “joke”. Get it? ahahahahahah) (more…)

Paint Sniff Click Sneak

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Master Race.

 

Time to play catch up again. I was out all day yesterday and met one of my comedy idols completely accidentally, which was a huge thrill! My next post will be about that.

 

For now, let us examine this handful of cartoons from this week. All of them are pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t go into a big story here except to say that the one about telephone tech support reminds me of another connection I made once while in a cab in NYC. (more…)

Ancient T & A

bz panel 01-10-14bz strip 01-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Budget House of Ill Repute.

I love the risque simplicity of this gag and I’m a little surprised that it wasn’t rejected for its sexual content. It always amazes me that Americans are so much more sensitive to nudity and sex than they are to violence. A TV program can show a woman getting beaten to death with a porcelain sink but they can’t show a loving couple with their shirts off. Astounding. (more…)

Dumpster Art

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(For a fuller, more luxuriant experience with this cartoon, click the guard’s sock.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bizarro Boulevard.

Here’s a fun cartoon that takes a few seconds to put together in your mind, which is my favorite kind. To fully get it, you may need to have used one of those recorded guided tours at a museum, but I’ll wait while you go do that. Now that you’re back, don’t you think this is funny? (more…)

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