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Ancient T & A

bz panel 01-10-14bz strip 01-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Budget House of Ill Repute.

I love the risque simplicity of this gag and I’m a little surprised that it wasn’t rejected for its sexual content. It always amazes me that Americans are so much more sensitive to nudity and sex than they are to violence. A TV program can show a woman getting beaten to death with a porcelain sink but they can’t show a loving couple with their shirts off. Astounding. (more…)

Dumpster Art

Bizarro 04-28-13 WEB


(For a fuller, more luxuriant experience with this cartoon, click the guard’s sock.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bizarro Boulevard.

Here’s a fun cartoon that takes a few seconds to put together in your mind, which is my favorite kind. To fully get it, you may need to have used one of those recorded guided tours at a museum, but I’ll wait while you go do that. Now that you’re back, don’t you think this is funny? (more…)

Keeping Doctors Away

Bizarro is brought to you today by Graduating Class.

Back in the late 1900s, in the early days of computers, if you typed “7734” on a calculator and turned it upside down, it spelled “hell.” That was one of the coolest, dirtiest things my friends and I did in 7th grade and we lived in terror we would get caught because it would likely mean spending the rest of our academic career in military school. Today, 7th graders are writing “F*CK” in crystal meth on their desk before they smoke it. That’s progress, I guess. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #25

(To see this image as big as all get-out, click on Mona Lisa’s chin.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by X-Ray Vision.

If this is your first time visiting my blog, have a look around at the other posts, as well. If you’re not entertained, you’ll get a complete refund.

My Sunday Punnies series is one in which I use puns sent in by readers and embellished by myself. This week’s winners are Dan Murray, Julie Fisher, and Vance Lehmkuhl. If you’d like to submit your pun for possible future use, follow these guidelines: (more…)

Apple Beak Candy Ball Belly

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Fun.

Today’s cartoon mystified a few readers, but not many, I suspect. This one is a simple twist on a famous painting by Belgian surrealist, Rene Magritte. If you’ve seen it, you get the gag. If not, you probably don’t.

I think this gag is brilliant and I SO wish I could say I wrote it. Instead, it was written by a friend and colleague of mine, a very talented cartoonist in his own right, Dan McConnell. (more…)

Surreal Dead Clown Courtesy

(Hey, Mr. Bigshot! Click on the eyeball to see this image larger. If you have the guts.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Check-Out Line Shocker!

If you’re a fan of surrealist art, you’ll recognize a lot of the themes at work in this cartoon. The original concept came from my “known associate,” Wayno of Pittsburgh. This was a truly collaborative effort since I added a fair amount of my own input into the dialogue and art. I’ve been a big fan of surrealism since I was a kid, so this was a lot of fun to draw. Here now are some of the famous images that this cartoon refrences: (more…)

Walrus Extravaganza

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Lennon Chair.

Hello again, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. I’ve been away from my beloved blog for too long and our reunion is like sweet nectar from the gods. (My personal faith involves several gods who closely resemble giant hummingbirds.)

Yesterday I moved into my new place in LA and I’m very happy about it. I’ve been staying with my swell pal, Adam Paul, for the past several weeks and he has been the coolest guy ever. But I’m looking forward to being in a place of my own and getting back to work! As anyone who has strayed more than 40 feet from the place of their birth knows, moving is a miserable affair. Many thanks to Adam for his friendship and generosity and to his French bulldog, Roscoe, for his cuddling and saliva. If you ever have a rubber squeaky toy that you want to get rid of for good, don’t throw it while Roscoe is around because he’ll only bring it right back. (more…)

Picture Parade

Bizarro is brought to you today by Docents.

Plenty of cartoons again today in a desperate effort to catch you up to date. This first one is from my amazingly sexy and talented colleague, Wayno! He knows how much I despise b*llshit (did I put the * in the right place?) conceptual art so I like to imagine he wrote this gag just for me. To read his story about the process, click the funny elf. Funny Elf. (more…)

Burning Giraffes

Bizarro is brought to you today by Validation.

Given the subject of today’s cartoon, this would be an excellent time for a serious academic discussion of surrealism. Unfortunately, I am not qualified for such discourse and cannot find an art history expert within shouting distance of this computer, so we’ll just chat.

I have always been attracted to surrealist art and the landscapes of artists like Dali, Magritte, Ernst and Tanguy left an iconic impression on me. Here, I combine this type of image with the “pick your own (fruit/vegetable)” roadside attraction and voila – a surreal cartoon. (more…)

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