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Cap’n Cleek

(To embiggenate an image, click any object within the drawing that would in reality weigh more than 18 ounces.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by High Speed Golf Cart.

I’ve often remarked that one reason pirates are so popular with cartoonists is that it is the only way we can do a cartoon about a disability without being buried under an avalanche of angry mail accusing us of being insensitive. If I published a cartoon about a one-legged old lady at the grocery store people would get pissed, but the same gag about a one-legged pirate is fair game. That doesn’t mean I’ve never gotten angry mail from a pirate cartoon. I got three very nasty letters about this cartoon, but it is noteworthy that none came from a disabled person; only people who felt sorry for disabled people and didn’t like them being made fun of. In contrast, that same cartoon garnered numerous letters of thanks from disabled people who reported that their sense of humor was an important tool in overcoming the hardships and inconveniences they’d faced. And I got one letter from a prosthetics company that wanted to put that cartoon on T-shirts to give out to their clients. I’ve often used that story to help guide me in deciding whether or not to do a cartoon like this.
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Lettuce Pray

(For those who are curious about the emgiggenation arts, click any image.)

At this writing we are two days away from celebrating what may be America’s last birthday and that’s the reason for this patriotic cartoon. It might not seem patriotic at first, but consider this:

Scientific consensuses are rare but recent polls have shown that the overwhelming majority of science professionals agree that large-scale head transplant programs are America’s best hope of ever returning to something remotely resembling sanity. Accordingly, for the sake of our democracy,  I support experimental efforts like the one above. The sooner we perfect these procedures, the sooner we’ll get out of this nightmare.
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Tiny Sports

(For an embiggenated experience, hold your breath and click any image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by First Step To Extinction.

ThIS week at Rancho Bizarro had its ups and downs with several of my cartoons drawing criticism from readers in both expected and unexpected ways. We’ll get to that momentarily but first, I’d like to give a heart-felt shout-out to someone who crosses my mind every Mother’s Day––my mother. Thanks for keeping me away from cliffs and preventing wild animals from carrying me off, without a single failure! Your perfect record allowed me to grow up and write this paragraph about how lucky I am to have had such a terrific mother. I am also grateful for your emotional support, friendship, guidance, and delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the way through elementary schoolLOVE you, Mom!
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Dangerous Magic

(If thou desires embiggenation, thee must no more than click the image of thine desire.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dangerous Magic.

It was another wild week at Rancho Bizarro. One of my cartoons caused an uproar of praise and condemnation from both sides of the trench (“aisle” seems too civilized for today’s political atmosphere) but more about that in a bit. And also my new home country of Mexico gave us a surprise gift in the form of this thing that popped up spontaneously in one of the flower pots that was already on our patio when we bought the place. I believe they call that a “volunteer”. Thank you, Madre Naturaleza.
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WildestWeekEver

(It is the embiggenation process that begins when you click any of these images.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Simple Logic.

It was not a quiet week here at Rancho Bizarro. One of my cartoons sparked the largest and most heated argument on my FB page that I’ve ever seen and I was buried under an avalanche of angry emails and comments. I’ve been called a lot of things this week, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
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Disguising Insanity

(Click the cartoons to embiggenate the chuckles.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Obvious Connections. 

Technology is terrific in many important ways but it is increasingly difficult to ignore the poisonous side effects. Like encouraging armies of idiots to act on their stupidity. Exhibit one: The current U.S. president.

Without the Internet’s undeserved veil of authenticity to hide behind, the crazy people who drive consipracy theories would just be lunatics shouting on a street corner, as they were before the Internet, and virtually everyone ignores a lunatic with a bullhorn. But now, they are able to find and build an audience, convince enough people of their insane ideas, and even influence the president himself enough so that he fills the White House with like-minded kooks.
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Mouth Using

(If you wish to embiggenate any of these cartoons, close your eyes, click your heels three times and click them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anger Management.

As regular readers know, I enjoy doing fake magazine covers from time to time. It’s a fun way to use wordplay in a slightly more sophisticated way than just illustrating a pun. The basic idea for this one came from a reader who goes by the suspicious name of Kevin Bartlett. (It’s the perfect name for someone trying to “hide in plain sight,” wouldn’t you agree? I’m guessing he’s at least got credit problems if he isn’t actually in a witness protection program.) Anyway, “Kevin” envisioned a guy holding a magazine called “Parts of Speech” and saying he only reads it for the articles.
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Faux Flood

(You can embiggenate these images by clicking on the cartoon with largliness in mind.)

This popular comic of mine is on a T-shirt again until Jan 11. Different styles and sizes available under the pulldown menu button thing.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Telltale Signs. 

I missed my weekly post last Sunday because of the holidays and some family who were visiting us at Rancho Bizarro’s new location in Mexico.
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Monkey School

Every so often I do a cartoon that attracts a certain amount of angry mail. Normally it is for something I didn’t do that the reader misunderstood or something I did unintentionally, like using a word I didn’t know was a hot button for a certain group. The following bit of angry mail relates to the cartoon below and is a new category for me so I thought I’d share it, lest you have “innocent, impressionable children” at home and you should want to protect them.bz panel 08-31-15
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Alien Amusements

Bizarro 02-08-15 HdrWEB Bizarro 02-08-15 WEB(To see any of these cartoons enlargered, give them a good click in the teeth.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Spot the Imposter(s).

I was abducted by extraterrestrials not long ago and while I was being whisked away to another space/time dimension, they happened to be fooling around with my cell phone and came across a cat video which they thought was hilarious and adorable. I immediately thought this might make a good cartoon if I should ever find my way back to Earth and need to write cartoons again. Long story short, in an amazing display of ingenuity, courage, and derring-do, I managed to escape captivity and find my way back to my desk in time to draw this and submit it before deadline. Man, being a cartoonist is exciting sometimes. bz panel 02-02-15bz strip 02-02-15bz panel 02-03-15bz strip 02-03-15bz panel 02-04-15bz strip 02-04-15bz panel 02-05-15bz panel 02-06-15bz strip 02-06-15
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