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Wasting Time

bizarro 12-14-14 hdr WEB Bizarro 12-14-14 WEB (Make any picture bigger by clicking it with your clicker thing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Advanced Self Defense.

I’ve done quite a few cartoons about the famous “Ascent of Man” illustrations. This one is specifically about the tech age and how so many people have utterly abandoned their bodies and “real” lives for online substitutes. It would take who-knows-how-many years to get to this point in evolution, of course, and we’ll likely kill ourselves off as a species long before then.
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Turkey Giant Litter Box

bz panel 11-27-14bz strip 11-27-14bz panel 11-28-14bz strip 11-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Get Ready For Christmas.

Here are some Thanksgiving leftovers for your amusement. When I first submitted the cartoon at left, which ran on Thanksgiving Day, my editors were worried that it was too brutal and asked if I really wanted to publish it. I did and here it is. Thus far, I have gotten one piece of angry mail from a reader who said, “you have crossed the line. Why would you have a naked black woman posed as a human Turkey? It wasn’t funny and during these times of rioting and strained race relations the last thing we need is some hack artist making disgusting drawings that demean a national holiday AND a naked black woman lying on a dinner table!” Given what this reader thought they saw, I can’t blame them at all for being incensed. The person on the table is not black, nor a woman, but is Cynthia’s husband, who presumably objected to a turkey-free Thanksgiving dinner. As a long-time animal rights advocate, I have met other activists who lose their ability to separate their hatred of cruelty from their hatred of the species that inflicts it. Cynthia is one such person who ends up losing her shit and offing her husband. Even the turkeys know this is the wrong approach. Most vegans I know do, too.
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Zombie Burning Anger

bz panel 08-08-14bz strip 08-08-14bz panel 08-09-14bz strip 08-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Chocolate Family, Please.

These cartoons are a couple of my favorites of late. As tempting as it was to draw the zombies “running” the race, I’m happy that I chose this remote view instead, which leaves part of the gag to the reader’s imagination.

Attention young cartoonists: The reader’s imagination is key to a good gag.   (more…)

Moody Warning Congrats Burial

bz panel 03-27-14bz panel 03-28-14bz strip 03-28-14bz panel 03-29-14bz strip 03-29-14(To enlargenate any comic, click on any character’s nose.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Learn to Count!

I got an angry comment from a reader about this Hulk cartoon, accusing me of “perpetuating stigma about mental illness.” I apologized for upsetting her but pointed out that the absurdity of this cartoon is enough to prevent people from taking it seriously enough to form opinions about sufferers of bipolar disorder. I’ve several friends and family members with this disorder and I’ve suffered from severe depression my entire adult life (controlled now by meds) so I fully understand both the seriousness and the stigma. If anyone else was offended, please don’t turn green and bust out of your clothes over it. (more…)

Shame on Me

bz panel 10-24-13bz strip 10-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by A Good Deal.

According to my unofficial poll, many people (+/- 100%) did not understand this gag. The key is the definition of “palindrome.” Read that, then you’ll get the joke.

Now on to a more amusing topic: HATE MAIL!

Jazz Pickle Empire, I present to you one of the best bits of hate mail I’ve received in quite some time. In italics below appears the email I received this week, unedited and in its entirety. My running commentary is in bold, not-italic, whatever that’s called. WARNING: this letter is not suitable for readers with a low tolerance for idiocy. (more…)

OH SWEET HATE MAIL

bz panel 09-09-13 dummybz strip 09-09-13dummyBizarro is brought to you today by Quiet Flight.

I had a terrific time this weekend in Santa Rosa where I did a comedy show at a private seminar, and in Sacramento where I did a comedy “talk” at my buddy’s restaurant, The Plum Cafe & Bakery. It was fun to meet some new Jazz Pickles. Thanks to all of those who came out to see me this weekend and especially to the Cowan family for popping out on Sunday and having lunch with me before the talk. (more…)

Cognitive Dissonance

bz panel 06-24-13bz strip 06-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Age of Reason.

I got a complaint about this cartoon this morning that read as follows:

“Today’s newspaper contained an offensive cartoon suggesting that God was hung over when he created man. I am offended. Why haven’t I seen a similar cartoon about Muhammed or the Muslims? (more…)

Hate Mail!

This just came in today and I wanted to share it with my Jazz Pickles because many of you love this kind of hate mail as much as I do.

Regarding yesterday’s “peace treaty” cartoon, here is the email in its entirety:

“You need to start looking for a new line of work because your shit is really sucking for air. Don’t respond.  I don’t want it.” (more…)

Definite Ambiguity

Bizarro is brought to you today by…

While at the National Cartoonists Society’s annual convention a couple weeks ago I met a cartoonist from Vancouver. She reminded me of a cartoon I did in 1999 that became her favorite. I’d forgotten all about it but looked it up in my archives and wanted to share it with you. It is a bit of an inside joke to cartoonists, but I’m sure that anyone can understand it. (more…)

Dr. Sheik Rabbit Highway Star Burqa

Bizarro is brought to you today by Super Mistakes.

It’s been a week since I’ve posted because I had to get ready to leave town for my show in Washington D.C. over the weekend, fly there, do the show, then come home. I’ve done all that now so I’m back at headquarters and blogging like a chimp with a new laptop. (more…)

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