Page 10 of 16« First...89101112...Last »

Bizarro’s 2012 Year in Review

(To view this cartoon as big as a pink elephant, click on the barfing character’s butt.)

Very soon our tiny planet will have successfully made another revolution around the sun and I am thankful for the ability to say so without fear of prosecution. Galileo spent the rest of his life under arrest for saying the same thing in 1633, so we shouldn’t take these things for granted. In addition to that excellent news, I have had a tremendously successful year in my own life and I want to share those victories with you now.  As is done by so many others at this time of year, (more…)

Santa Ruminant Heathen Odorless Maneuver Amputee Webcam

(To see this cartoon as big as the star over the nativity scene, click the ball on Santa’s hat.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Kidnapping.

The bizarre and convoluted imagery of modern-day Christmas has fascinated me since I was old enough to notice it. (Sometime in my teens.) I’ve since learned that there are many and various ancient myths and holidays that were incorporated into it over the centuries, including the virgin birth (the birth of heroes to virgins, often with some kind of god as the father, are common in many pre-Christian mythologies), the king born of poverty (another common mythological element and likely the reason that to this day, Americans like to vote for a “down home” candidate for president, the sort you’d want to “have a beer with”), the Christmas tree, (a pagan symbol of the winter solstice), and Santa Claus (derived from the pre-Christian, Germanic god, Odin, who flew through the skies giving gifts at Yule [Dec 25] on an eight-legged horse, later morphed into eight reindeer.) Anyway, for the past couple of Christmases, I’ve had some fun combining modern elements of the holiday with the original nativity scene of Christian mythology. Here’s last year’s, in case you’ve forgotten. (more…)

Mao Dummy Alien Cat Pee God Santa Nixon Crook

 

(To see this cartoon as big as China, click on Mao’s third button.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hover Cats.

I’ve been away for a while visiting my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was asked to deliver the commencement address at their midterm graduation and had a ball doing it. As many times as I have spoken and performed in public, I was pretty nervous. Big crowd, lots of big brains, funny outfits, a giant basketball scoreboard with a live video feed of me talking hanging over the center of the room right in front of me. To top it all off, I couldn’t see my notes so I had to mostly wing it. I guess it went okay. (more…)

Shag Dark Ghost Corpse

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pilgrims and Indians.

Well, if all goes as planned, today is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.  The holiday supported by a coloring book story about pilgrims and native Americans getting together peacefully (for the last time?) to have dinner and give thanks or something. We celebrate this by, and as an ethical vegan I cannot resist saying this, slaughtering millions of innocent beings who’ve lived their short lives in uncomfortable captivity so we can gorge ourselves like gluttons. In December, the massacre starts all over again in the name of “peace on Earth.” Whatever. (more…)

Egyptian Super Balls

Bizarro is brought to you by Spelling Bees.

I like cartoons about hieroglyphics and have done them before. Here’s one of my faves. This one came from my buddy, Cliff, who is a master of word play. He has a unique way of thinking about language that always really tickles me.

 

 

 

 

In our next panel we see a man getting ready for a massage with a jackhammer. Oh my, that could kill him. But wait, no it can’t, because he’s Superman. Whew! (more…)

Boxer Shorts Latin Gay Bug Beaver

Bizarro is brought to you today by Happy Ass.

 

This week I’ve got a few gags with which I am pleased with the art. I like the gesture of the body of this boxer, as he sits swollen and defeated. Most cartoonists don’t bother with these kinds of details but I really enjoy them and hope you do, too. (more…)

Pet Parking Eunuch Humping Loaf

Bizarro is brought to you today by Parenting.

I took some time off to travel but am happy to be back in my captain’s chair here at Bizarro International Headquarters.

Accordingly, here are a passel of cartoons to catch you up to date. First up is a cartoon that proved popular among readers. Personally, I never use my first pet’s name as a security question because, although I loved the dog, I never liked her name: “Penny.” I don’t have anything against the name per se, but my older sister picked it and so it seemed feminine to me. I was rooting for “Spike” or “Killer.” She looked not unlike the dog in this cartoon, except that her spots were brown. Like you care. (more…)

Mattress Fine Boss Penguin Pirate

Bizarro is brought to you today by Courageous Eyebrows.

Man (woman and undecided), it’s been a busy week at Bizarro International Headquarters. So much going on that I can barely keep up. Last weekend I was at the San Diego Comic Con, which if you like 10 square miles of unnavigable crowds of nerds and wackos is where you ought to be. It’s gotten so out of hand that it’s beginning to make Burning Man look like a Republican convention. (more…)

Founding Relationship Stink Island Crow Finger

 

(To make this cartoon as big as the constitution, click on Washington’s nose.)

Bizarro is brought to you by The Politics of Fear.

I wanted to publish this cartoon closer to July 4 because it would be in keeping with the theme of the holiday but it didn’t come to me until too late. Still, the 15th isn’t so bad and the constitution wasn’t signed on the 4th anyway (that was the Declaration of Independence), so who cares? (more…)

Page 10 of 16« First...89101112...Last »