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Caves and Cavities

(For a mostly bigger version of this cartoon, click on of the climber’s fanny packs.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Birth By Bike.

I have no doubt that most American readers (U.S. and Canada) will get this cartoon, but since I have a growing number of international Bizarro Jazz Pickles, It may be helpful to some if I explain it a bit further. (more…)

Foosball Voting Guru

Bizarro is brought to you today by Spooky Stuff.

It seems our old friend, Harold Camping, is back in the news. He was the kooky old geezer who convinced so many discerning Americans last spring that he had figured out some secret code in the Bible and that the world was going to end on May 21st. I might have believed it if it had come from Nicolas Cage since he has proven his ability to figure out secret codes, but I didn’t find Harold very compelling. (more…)

Environmental Bird Poo Pundit

Bizarro is brought to you today by Not My Lunch.

When drawing this cartoon I was looking on the Interwebs for reference for a Smart Car and found a picture of one that had actually been converted into one of these big-wheel beasts. Of course. I should have known someone would. How much did they spend? Was it worth it? Does he get paid for showing up places with it? Is there a point to it other than to own something weird? Not judging, just wondering. (more…)

Pro Tree Field

Bizarro is brought to you today by ghosts.

Thanks to all you readers who left comments about the 9/11 comics project. I’m encouraged to hear that I was not the only one disenchanted by the commercialized sentimentality of last week. It’s been ten years, let’s move on. One nice way to start would be by putting Bush and Cheney in jail where they belong*, but let’s not get overly optimistic. (more…)

Not Forgetting

Bizarro is brought to you today by September 11th.

If you’ve looked at today’s comics online or in the paper, you will have noticed that a large number of them are commemorating the 9/11/01 attack on NYC. Months ago, all of us in the industry were asked to do something in today’s comic for the anniversary. I suspect most cartoonists complied, though I’ve only seen a handful of them so I can’t be sure. (more…)

Last Post Before Certain Death

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hurricane Irene.

Bizarro Headquarters in Brooklyn is directly in the path of Hurricane Irene today. It should hit us around sunset tonight and last into tomorrow. Much of the city has been evacuated but BzH is on high-enough ground that we have been spared. So here we sit with flashlights, safety goggles, helmets, snorkle gear, fresh water, canned food, cigars, scotch, two laptops with fully-charged batteries  and a stack of DVDs. (more…)

Clones, Babies, Honey, Mom

Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Treat Heat Prostration.

I have been remiss in my blogging responsibilities of late. Spending a week one block from Hell will do that to a person. I was in Texas and Oklahoma visiting family and experienced the daily 100+ degrees of what is being called “the worst heat wave in the history of this area this month.” Oklahoma isn’t actually Hell, but you can easily walk to it from there. Daily highs averaged around 106, the high temperature I experienced was 111 degrees on Saturday. At midnight, when the city was quiet and temps are still in the high 90s, you could hear Satan laughing as he watched reruns of Two and a Half Men. It was chilling, but not in a way that made it any cooler. (more…)

Stupid Heat

Bizarro is brought to you today by I’m Out Of Town and Trying To Do This Quickly So I Didn’t Take The Time To Find A Clever Picture.

Damn, it’s hot down here in Texas. Today we go to Oklahoma where it is even hotter. It’s miserable, but I do take some comfort in knowing that Oklahoma is the state of  Senator Jim Inhofe, the single most outspoken opponent of  Climate Change and all things scientific (I can’t swear to it, but I’d bet he believes in the creation story of Genesis), and one of the singularly stupidest people holding any kind of office anywhere. Except for Michelle Bachmann and if Sarah Palin is ever elected again. I hope he’s frying is ass off. (more…)

Norway Massacre

A lot of people have been asking me about this so I’m posting a few comments about it.

The right-wing maniac who killed a bunch of kids in Norway last week used one of my cartoons in the video he posted about his political beliefs. The still image below, about 2 1/2 minutes into his video, is the one in which my cartoon appears. Mine isn’t the only cartoon he employed; the entire video is one image after another, and a lot of editorial cartoons are used to support his point. (more…)

Bliss Talk

Bizarro is brought to you today by Improper Sexual Advances of the 1950s.

Advances in DNA studies continue to point to the fact that more of our personalities, dispositions, and even personal choices are genetically programmed than we have previously thought. With what we know about evolution, human and otherwise, I have developed a theory of my own, which I will be publishing in the New England Journal of Ideas by People with Perhaps Too Much Time on Their Hands, called The Theory of Too Much Information. It goes like this: (more…)

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