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Hungry

Bizarro 08-21-16 hdr WEB

(Clicking any articulated joint in any of these images will embiggenate the image.)

Bizarro 08-21-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Olympics. 

There is much fun to be had in this comic featuring a twist on the age-old comedy motif of the kid whose dog ate his homework. Aside from the deep, theological concepts within the dialogue, there are plenty of background jokes and six secret symbols to search for. Embiggenate it for a more complete experience.
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Whistling

Bizarro 08-14-16 hdrWEB

(To create an embiggenated version of any cartoon, click the exact right spot in that cartoon.)

Bizarro 08-14-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by How Have I Lived Without These?

To properly understand the Sunday cartoon above, you may need to enlarge it. (You can do that by placing your cursor over any letter in the balloon that has a right angle, and then clicking.)
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Stormy Weather

Bizarro 07-24-16 hdrWEB

(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it with your embiggenation tool.)

Bizarro 07-24-16 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Hallucinations.

It’s been a shitstorm of a week here at Rancho Bizarro. I published a cartoon on Friday that a lot of people misconstrued so I posted an explanation and apology on my FB page, and that led to hundreds of comments and arguments. More on that later in this post.
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Uber Legume

Bizarro 07-10-16 HdrWEB

(For some real good embiggenation, click any image with your clicker deal.)

Bizarro 07-10-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Words of Wisdom From Yesteryear.

Hey, Jazz Pickles. Sorry for the delayed post, I’m out of town and things are wonky.

The cartoon above is a pun on the Uber phenomenon, which has revolutionized the taxi industry; cheaper and more efficient for the consumer, not a good thing for the traditional taxi folks. But that’s beside the point. The point here is a frivolous pun about Uber and goober. (Goober is slang for “peanut”.) The car is a Mercury Comet from the 70s. I like drawing vintage vehicles, especially oddball, goofy ones like this. The truck being used in this cartoon by Bunny’s Pie Repair is some kind of mid-century, British utility van that I found a picture of on the Interwebs. I don’t remember the name of it. Be sure to click on the image and embiggenate it to find the various background jokes and the secret symbols, which today number 7.
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Monkey Butt

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(You, too, can achieve cartoon embiggenation by clicking any of these images.)Bizarro 06-12-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bathroom I.D. Issues.

At various times in my adult life I have gone through periods where oddball children’s rhymes occur to me. I write them down with the intention of someday publishing a book of them but I’ve never gotten around to it. Here is one converted into a Sunday comic instead.
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Born Adults

Bizarro 05-22-16 HdrWEB

(A simple click of any illustration here will delightfully embiggenate it.)
Bizarro 05-22-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Enduring Myths.

Today’s Sunday cartoon is a soft joke but one that made me smile. The mythical notion of humans just popping up in life as full-grown, modern adults and trying to negotiate the world around them is always amusing to me, but this is a wrinkle I’ve never thought of before. The utterly casual callousness of Adam and Eve as the quintessential “new parents” is devilishly delightful: “Sorry kid. We have no idea what we’re doing, and how could we?” I felt that way with my first daughter, who was born a full decade before I had any business being a parent.
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Sky Schooling

Bizarro 05-15-16 HdrWEB(If thee must embiggenate, do so with a click to any man-made object in any cartoon.)Bizarro 05-15-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unusual Methods.

These days, skywriting is done by computer or some other form of technological voodoo, but in the old days, people flew around and spelled words out in the air mechanically by releasing some puffy white stuff at the appropriate time. Ever since I was a child I’ve wondered how the pilot knew what the thing they were creating looked like from the ground. Today’s big, spectacular, double-wide Sunday cartoon shows how I imagine they might have practiced. (On an interesting side note, when the industry switched to computerized skywriting, the dessert topping industry took a major hit and has yet to recover, as chronicled here.)
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Grammarant

Bizarro 05-08-16 HdrWEB

(To commence the embiggenation process, click any vowel on any image.)Bizarro 05-08-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Primitive North American Skeet Shooting.

I’ve confessed here before that I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. So I thought it might be fun to create some circus sideshow banners of people correctly using commonly misused phrases and words. The first one is an age-old pet peeve of mine. I’ve not done an in-depth study of it but I’d estimate that 95% of Americans say “I could care less” rather than the correct, “I couldn’t care less,” when they want to express indifference. Yes, people will know what you mean either way and that’s the main point of language, but it drives me a little bit nuts that “I could care less” means exactly the opposite of what you’re trying to say. I care about my mother (happy Mother’s Day, Mom!) and so it would be very possible for me to care less about her. It would not be possible for me to care more about her. On the other hand, if I care nothing at all about something, it would not be possible for me to care less because I already don’t care at all. And so, I “couldn’t” care less. Don’t think of it as a phrase, think of the literal meaning of the words you are saying.
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Crawling Through Cliches

Bizarro 05-01-16 hdrWEB

(A desire to embiggenate can be satisfied by clicking any of these cartoons.)

Bizarro 05-01-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Simpson’s Shout-Out to Jazz Pickles.

As I’ve said before on this blog, I enjoy doing cartoons within the canon of popular cartoon tropes like the desert island, the shrink’s couch, the man crawling through a desert, etc. Here I combine two of them and use another trope: the self-referential cartoon. Self-referential cartoons can be dangerous because if they’re too easy––a character simply noticing he is in a cartoon without anything more substantial to say about it––it can elicit a groan. I hope not too many people groaned at this one. I thought it was fun.
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Too Many Babies

Bizarro 04-24-16 hdrWEB

(To embiggenate any cartoon, hold down your breakfast and click any yellowish color thrice.)

Bizarro 04-24-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Click Bait of the Week.

If you’re a person who is uncomfortable being honest about sex with your children, this cartoon is an excellent way to teach them about reproduction. It’s a bit more accurate than the old “stork” story, and in a court of law you could argue that it is technically true; babies come from inside the mother. Of course, if you do use this as a teaching tool for your children, prepare to be raising your grandchildren in a few years because their parents are still in middle school.
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