(And when the illustration of the escaping Israelites was clicked, the Lord embiggenated it.)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Sibling Rivalries of the Bible. Ever wonder what those crazy stories in the Old Testament (or Torah) mean? Neither do I, but they are fun to do cartoons about and since it was supposed to have happened so long ago, very few people will say, “Too soon.” One might also wonder if this cartoon was created to mirror the current refugee crisis in the Middle East and Europe and the answer would be no, not directly. Pretty much any time one does a cartoon about escaping refugees, there’s going to be a group of refugees somewhere in the real world. Sadly, humans have a fairly consistent habit of treating each other horribly and keeping each other on the run. (more…)
(To experience more largerness, click any bush on the cartoon below.)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Terror.Here’s a bit of surreal fun for your Sunday. Not quite as surreal as Donald Trump being a front runner for the Republican nomination, but strange nonetheless. By the way, if you’ve not see the recent New Yorker cover illustration about the election,click this to see it now. I think it is a brilliant concept that perfectly illustrates certain factions of the American electorate. If you don’t quite get the joke, you’re likely not familiar with this photo and what happened in 1948 with major party presidential nominees Harry S Truman and Thomas Dewey. Dewey was well ahead in the polls on election day and a Chicago newspaper had the next day’s headline locked in and printed. But then Truman won. The NYker cover isn’t about the entire story, I think it is simply about the fact that America has become a place where people will vote for blowhard celebrities for president, instead of people who might actually do a good job. (more…)
I got this idea because I used to live in a huge apartment building and it seemed there was always someone using the elevators to move in or out. It was like cramming yourself into someone’s tiny living room for a few seconds to get to your floor and it happened so often I began to wonder if they were living in there. Thought it was kind of funny. (more…)
Before I get to this week’s cartoons, I’d like to tell you about this T-shirt campaign featuring one of my most popular cartoons. A portion of the proceeds benefit “Roots & Shoots,” a kid’s program at the Jane Goodall Institute. Only ONE WEEK LEFT in the campaign, then the shirt is gone for good! Thanks!Have a look now, then come back.And don’t hesitate to “like,” tweet, forward, etc. it so that other’s may find out about it, too!Bizarro is brought to you today by Church Humor?This Sunday cartoon is a long and winding road and you’ll likely need to enlarge it to get the most out of it. Do that by clicking it. On my computer, I have to click it, then reload the page it goes to before it appears. No idea why; computer voodoo, I guess. (more…)
Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Offices!I hope you enjoy this version of the popular horror story meme wherein a traveling couple’s car breaks down and they have to ask a scary person if they can spend the night in that person’s farmhouse, castle, etc. The setup is a bit outdated now that cell phones have been invented but I suppose you could always claim there’s no reception in that area because of inherent evil or something. (Note: I put a little extra work on the reflection in the hardwood floors so please take a moment to enjoy that.)I’m sure one or more cats are actually running for president next year but I suspect that, as usual, The Man won’t let them on the ballot. This is entirely because cats cannot be bought by corporations.I have out-of-body experiences every single day, but it’s always involving other people’s bodies. Something to think about. I’ve always thought the coolest thing about porcupines is that when threatened, they can throw their quills outward from their body. Much like our “goosebumps” or “gooseflesh,” but with consequences.Yes, I know I have a bug up my ass about unnecessarily large vehicles and I’ve done a lot of cartoons about that. Here’s another one. The salesman is unnecessarily large, too, but that’s a whole other issue about the American industrialized food system. (more…)
Bizarro is brought to you today by My Dad and Me in 1974.If you’re wondering what this gag is about, it may be because you don’t know that an Appaloosa is a popular breed of horse. I only know this because I watched a lot of westerns with my dad when I was a kid, which, from my perspective, makes this a good cartoon for Father’s Day. Over the years I’ve often put a “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!” message along the border of my cartoons for this day but in this case I was unaware it would be Father’s Day when this published (I’m required to submit Sunday cartoons many weeks ahead of the print date) so it didn’t happen. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Dad!I’m not normally jealous of the lives of cats, but when I see them sleeping I often wish I could be as comfortable as they obviously are. The key is flexibility, I think, and I’ve never been a flexible person. I’ve been taking yoga a few times a week now for nearly three years and though I’ve improved a LOT, I’m still not very flexible by human standards. Just genetically cursed in that regard, I think.This dental one is a goofy gag and a goofy drawing but it made me chuckle so I offer it to you. Sometimes goofy is just what I need. On a side note, “Gene” seems like a terribly “white” name, doesn’t it? I’m guessing there aren’t many black men named Gene.One of the things I enjoyed about the many westerns I watched as a kid was the seemingly magical ability of Indians to track people. I especially liked it when they would put their ear to the ground and tell you how many riders were coming and how close they were. What?! I’m guessing that was a Hollywood fabrication but maybe some people could actually do that, what do I know?I like this gag a lot because I’ve always thought that the “official” American attitude towards sex and nudity causes a lot more problems than it solves. Having been raised in such a sexually repressive and puritanical society, I find myself uncomfortable with it, too, but that doesn’t keep me from seeing how ridiculous it is. Like author Chris Ryan, PhD., (Sex at Dawn) I suspect that the societal sexual oppression of teenage boys is what causes a lot of misogyny and abuse of women. If teenagers (of both sexes) were allowed to experiment with sex with proper birth control and disease protection, but without the negative stigma of labels like “slut” and all the antiquated religious nonsense that we’ve whipped up over the centuries, people would be better adjusted and society would be subjected to less aberrant behavior. Just my humble opinion.I first submitted this cartoon back in the 2000s, during W. Bush’s presidency and amid his whirlwind of lies about Iraq. My editor at that time wouldn’t let me publish it because he said I couldn’t say, in effect, that the president was full of shit, as it would lead to cancellations in conservative markets. Times have changed, however, and this time the cartoon sailed through without so much as an eyebrow twitch. I don’t know if it is because liberals are much less sensitive to derision than their conservative counterparts (which I believe is true) or if it is just a less controversial notion that all politicians lie. Back then, many Americans were on a patriotic witchhunt for anyone not supporting the war, too, so that might have been part of it. The editor who made that decision passed away some years ago so I can’t ask him.My last offering this week is this lovely festival queen. No back story here, just a little giggle. (more…)
Try as I might to stay out of politics in my comics, some issues just grab me by the throat and force my hand. This is one such issue.
No matter how long I live I don’t think I’ll ever understand why anyone cares who anyone else marries.
Personally, I don’t think the government should be involved in marriage issues whatsoever. Marriage should be left to the individuals entering into it: a civil contract, an agreement on a handshake, a religious ceremony if you like, a costume party in the woods, whatever makes sense to the people doing it. But the government’s interest in the institution is entirely misplaced in this day and age. Why do married people get tax breaks, special treatment from hospitals and insurance companies, or any special treatment at all from anyone, unless the powers-that-be are trying to direct and control society to their own end? We know from history that this never turns out well for the rest of us. (more…)
I conceived of this cartoon back in my first year of syndication in 1985 when I was just a child cartoonist, but the drawing was perfectly awful. (OMG, look how ugly it was!) I’d forgotten all about it until I came across it again recently but I liked the concept so much that I decided to draw and publish it again. I hope you enjoy looking upon it as much as I did redrawing it in a less ugly fashion. (more…)
So I was thinking what would happen if Adam and Eve’s neighbors happened by just as they were standing naked together, talking to a snake and eating a piece of “forbidden” fruit. Now, I know in the classic version there were no neighbors because Adam and Eve were the first humans, but according to the same story, they had a couple of sons, Cain and Able, and one of them grew up and got married. So where did his bride come from? This leads me to believe that either this is a traditional myth used to teach a certain lesson, or incest was okay for a very long time (until there were enough people to find someone to mate with to whom you were not very closely related.) Ew. I’m going to assume it is a myth. (more…)
Does anyone out there have a modern solution to the password thing? You’re supposed to use different passwords for all your sites to reduce the possibility of having your identity stolen, but how do you remember them all? If you write them on a list, someone will steal the list and steal your life. I’ve taken to keeping a list but writing it in code. But sometimes I can’t remember what the code is. Gosh, life in the future can suck sometimes. (more…)