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Turkey Toys

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(To enlargefy any image, click any character’s nose.)Bizarro 12-13-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Poor Timing.

During the month of December, I’ll be featuring some of my favorite holiday Bizarro cartoons from years past under most of the blue links in my posts, so don’t miss them!

This cartoon glimpse inside Santa’s Workshop was based on a fleeting idea about turkeys posing as elves in an attempt to avoid being eaten on Thanksgiving. I’m not certain the concept is funny in and of itself, but I thought the drawing might be amusing enough to save it. I enjoyed drawing turkeys trying to manage tools with their cumbersome wings as hands. There are six of my “secret symbols” in this drawing, one of which is a toy one of the elves is working on, which is funny to me. If you’re not familiar with the Bizarro Secret Symbols, have a lookit this and be forever changed. (Sorry, that wasn’t a holiday BIzarro cartoon from the past but the next link will be.)
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Island Fad

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(To begin the embiggenation process, click any cartoon.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Bizarro Nativity Scene 2011.

I have an OCD issue with music. At almost all times when I am awake, a song is playing in my head and it drives me nuts. So drawing this cartoon (and typing this post about it) is a painful experience because I cannot stop that horrible song about the Island of Misfit Toys from playing on a loop. All I have to do is look at this picture and I hear the music. Unfortunately, looking away from the picture does not make it stop. Accordingly, I have no tolerance for any of those Xmas TV specials I grew up with; they haunt me.
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Bark Bark

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it or something.)Bizarro 11-15-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making the Best of a Plumbing Leak.

I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that.
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Moosen Up

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(Some have found the embiggenation process gratifying. Try it for yourself by clicking moose # 3)Bizarro 11-08-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Interpretive Math.

Most of the cartoons I do are meant simply to give the reader a smile or chuckle, but every now and then I like to do one that teaches a little-known historical fact. This is one such cartoon. I got this information from Republican presidential front-runner Ben Carson’s book, “Lightening Bolts of Knowledge from My Genius Brain”. I also learned from that book that the pyramids in ancient Egypt were used as grain silos and that the four classical elements of the ancient world were water, fire, unicorns, and pinecones. He learned these things in brain surgery school so they must be true.
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Foot Odor

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(If you enjoy the embiggenation of cartoons, click on them.)Bizarro 10-25-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Seats Are Cheaper On The Wing.

There have been a few “Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe” cartoons over the span of my 87 year career as a cartoonist and this is arguably one of them. Here is another one that is built on the same premise but leaves less to the imagination.
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Sea of Serious

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(And when the illustration of the escaping Israelites was clicked, the Lord embiggenated it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sibling Rivalries of the Bible.
Bizarro 10-04-15 WEBEver wonder what those crazy stories in the Old Testament (or Torah) mean? Neither do I, but they are fun to do cartoons about and since it was supposed to have happened so long ago, very few people will say, “Too soon.” One might also wonder if this cartoon was created to mirror the current refugee crisis in the Middle East and Europe and the answer would be no, not directly. Pretty much any time one does a cartoon about escaping refugees, there’s going to be a group of refugees somewhere in the real world. Sadly, humans have a fairly consistent habit of treating each other horribly and keeping each other on the run.
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Topiary Rat

Strangely, this cartoon T-shirt of mine is back on sale until 8pm Pacific Time tonight. People kept ordering them, so they opened the campaign up again. So cool!

Bizarro 09-20-15 hdrWEB(To experience more largerness, click any bush on the cartoon below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Terror.Bizarro 09-20-15 WEBHere’s a bit of surreal fun for your Sunday. Not quite as surreal as Donald Trump being a front runner for the Republican nomination, but strange nonetheless. By the way, if you’ve not see the recent New Yorker cover illustration about the election, click this to see it now. I think it is a brilliant concept that perfectly illustrates certain factions of the American electorate. If you don’t quite get the joke, you’re likely not familiar with this photo and what happened in 1948 with major party presidential nominees Harry S Truman and Thomas Dewey. Dewey was well ahead in the polls on election day and a Chicago newspaper had the next day’s headline locked in and printed. But then Truman won. The NYker cover isn’t about the entire story, I think it is simply about the fact that America has become a place where people will vote for blowhard celebrities for president, instead of people who might actually do a good job.
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Moving Experience

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(For a larger viewing experience of the cartoon below so you can find its NINE secret symbols, clickify it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sore Throat Treatments of the Future.

Bizarro 09-06-15 WEBI got this idea because I used to live in a huge apartment building and it seemed there was always someone using the elevators to move in or out. It was like cramming yourself into someone’s tiny living room for a few seconds to get to your floor and it happened so often I began to wonder if they were living in there. Thought it was kind of funny.
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Parabolic Cartoonery

Before I get to this week’s cartoons, I’d like to tell you about this T-shirt campaign featuring one of my most popular cartoons. A portion of the proceeds benefit “Roots & Shoots,” a kid’s program at the Jane Goodall Institute. Only ONE WEEK LEFT in the campaign, then the shirt is gone for good! Thanks! Have a look now, then come back. And don’t hesitate to “like,” tweet, forward, etc. it so that other’s may find out about it, too!Bizarro12-30-07DevolutionWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Church Humor?Bizarro 08-02-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 08-02-15 WEBThis Sunday cartoon is a long and winding road and you’ll likely need to enlarge it to get the most out of it. Do that by clicking it. On my computer, I have to click it, then reload the page it goes to before it appears. No idea why; computer voodoo, I guess.
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Fleeing Fleas

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Offices!Bizarro 07-19-15 hdrWEBBizarro 07-19-15 WEBI hope you enjoy this version of the popular horror story meme wherein a traveling couple’s car breaks down and they have to ask a scary person if they can spend the night in that person’s farmhouse, castle, etc. The setup is a bit outdated now that cell phones have been invented but I suppose you could always claim there’s no reception in that area because of inherent evil or something. (Note: I put a little extra work on the reflection in the hardwood floors so please take a moment to enjoy that.)bz panel 07-13-15I’m sure one or more cats are actually running for president next year but I suspect that, as usual, The Man won’t let them on the ballot. This is entirely because cats cannot be bought by corporations.bz panel 07-14-15I have out-of-body experiences every single day, but it’s always involving other people’s bodies. Something to think about. bz panel 07-15-15I’ve always thought the coolest thing about porcupines is that when threatened, they can throw their quills outward from their body. Much like our “goosebumps” or “gooseflesh,” but with consequences.bz panel 07-16-15Yes, I know I have a bug up my ass about unnecessarily large vehicles and I’ve done a lot of cartoons about that. Here’s another one. The salesman is unnecessarily large, too, but that’s a whole other issue about the American industrialized food system.
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