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Shrinkage

bz panel 07-08-13bz strip 07-08-13Bizarro is inflicted on you today by Magical Foods.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love psychotherapy. I don’t love the expense so I can’t go every week; I simply visit one for a few weeks or months when I’m having a specific problem in my life. Like the time a few years ago when I couldn’t decide between growing a ridiculous mustache or getting giant breast implants. A shrink helped me make the right decision. (more…)

Mirror Viewers

bz panel 06-01-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternate Lifestyle Hygiene.

Have ever felt you were being watched? When I was a little kid, I had this ongoing fantasy for years that I was the only real human and I was created by an alien civilization that was watching me through mirrors. The entire earth and all of its other inhabitants were androids put here as an experiment to see how I would react. I never really believed it, but anytime I walked past a mirror, I would look into it and wink, not at myself, but at the aliens watching me. Just in case I was right, I wanted them to know I had figured it out. (more…)

Triple Shrinkage

bz panel 05-23-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Eating Too Quickly.

When drawing this cartoon, the biggest challenge I faced aside from drawing three adults on a small couch was giving the three men the right looks. In cartoons such as mine, I usually will go for a recognizable stereotype to increase the percentage of readers worldwide who will understand the gag. (more…)

Thoughtful Companions

bz panel 05-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Super Powers.

I recently saw a short video of a so-called “pet pychic” visiting an animal sanctuary, and it inspired this cartoon. As Penn and Teller have been telling us for decades, there is no such thing as magic. The human mind is constructed in such a way that it can be made to believe almost anything with a little misdirection. Psychics of all kinds have played on this trait since human societies first formed, as have con men, magicians, evangelists, mediums, astrologers, wizards, etc. (more…)

Bug Therapy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Logical Possibilities.

I’m not a germaphobe per se, but I never touch my face when I’m out in public and wash my hands as soon as I get home. This is entirely because I don’t want to pick up a cold or flu or whatever. I’m happy to report that I get sick less than just about anyone I know. I haven’t had more than one cold or stomach disorder every couple of years, for a decade or so. And none of the illnesses I get last more than a day, most only 12 hours or so. (more…)

Founding Boomerang Jumper Dog Stick Wig

Bizarro is brought to you by The Glories of Technology.

Today in my weekly roundup of Bizarro cartoons we begin with one that ran on President’s Day (in the U.S.).  People are fond of claiming that nothing gets done in Washington but the truth is likely closer to “too much” gets done in Washington. I’m not one of those people who believes that everything would be fine if the government did nothing other than raise an army, but I do think it would be nice if the Patriot Act was scrapped. And also the ludicrous TSA ban on liquids. (more…)

Sproing Talk Acknowledgement Shred Pee Flake Underpants

(To enlarge this tragic moment in time, click the unfortunate diver’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hall and Oates.

I’ve done plenty of crash test dummy gags over the years and I’ll likely continue because it’s just so much fun. They’re such great spokesmen for the foibles of the human race. (Legal Disclaimer: I should say now that these are professionally trained stunt dummies and that you should not try this yourself, but I won’t. If you’re stupid enough to knowingly jump into an empty swimming pool, it would be better if you didn’t live long enough to reproduce.) (more…)

Bitter Pachyderm Philtrum Swashbuckling Drinker Teen Whale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Time Magazine.

“If you’re only reading the cartoons on BizarroBlog, you’re missing most of Piraro’s genius.”––Time Magazine

Okay, that never appeared in Time Magazine. But from some of the comments that readers make, I know that plenty of people are only scanning the cartoons briefly and skipping all of this delicious text that I pour so much of my heart and soul into. So I thought maybe a phony quote would encourage them to read on. Am I a bad man? Yes, but it has nothing to do with that phony quote. (more…)

Traitor Crowded Dragster

Bizarro is brought to you today by Cannibals.

This cartoon is an offshoot of a feeling I’ve had since I was a child, some 30 years before I became vegan. Why would an animal want to advertise its own murder and consumption? Long before I thought it was wrong to eat animals, when I was still under 10 years old, I wondered why a happy pig would be on a sign for a BBQ restaurant. It just seemed wrong somehow. So here is a cartoon that took 40 years gestate. (more…)

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