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As longtime readers of this blog know, I suffer from chronic depression. My whole family does, except for my younger brother, whom the rest of us killed during Christmas dinner a few years ago. We just couldn’t stand all that damned jolliness.
For those of you who are not biologically inclined, serotonin is the crap in your brain that makes you happy. So in medical terms, if you don’t have enough of it or the spigot that connects to your serotonin vat is clogged, you get depressed for seemingly no reason. That’s why antidepressants were invented. Not really to make everyone happy, just those of us with a rusty vat faucet, and not happy all the time, just normal most of the time.
They work pretty well for me, with a few side effects, all of which are more tolerable than feeling like the world is coming to an end in the next few minutes for no discernible reason.
I envy people with a lot of natural serotonin. Envy is a vast improvement over what I used to feel for them, which was contempt and deep, deep hatred. With the help of antidepressants and meditation, I’ve found that I’m actually a happy, easygoing person trapped in the body of an *sshole. (Thank goodness I can afford my pills. Lots of people can’t, but helping them pay for it would turn this country into Russia and we can’t have that.)
No need to leave encouraging comments or send consoling emails, I’m fine now and enjoying life as much as the next guy. And he’s got easy access to an average amount of serotonin.
Until next time…even a journey of 1000 miles begins with several frustrating hours on the Internet looking for the cheapest flights that leave at a decent hour and don’t have a layover in Atlanta.