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Christmas Cavalcade O’Comics

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Weekend!

I won’t spend a lot of time blogging today because I’ve got holiday events to attend. Since I don’t celebrate Xmas and I’m tired of Festivus, I’ve decided this year to give tribute to Kwanzaa. Some people are all, “that’s just a made-up holiday!” Well, guess what, genius, ALL holidays are made up, by definition. Nature doesn’t have holidays, you big goober. You probably feel silly now, don’t you? Well, you should but it’s the holiday season so let’s just move past that in the spirit of forgiveness. (more…)

Evolving Diet Hand-Me-Down

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Confusion.

I keep promising myself (and you, dear Jazz Pickles) that I will post more often on this blogging machine but then I don’t get around to it. Part of the problem is that I keep looking for ways to get out of the house because I’m living alone for the first time in ten years and I get pretty blue and lonely if I don’t get out. Today I rode my bicycle 5.6 miles (according to the Google Map) to a branch of my bank to deposit a few dozen dollars worth of checks. It was mostly an excuse to get out in the sun and exercise, so an 11.2 mile ride was just the thing. (more…)

Axe Shui

Bizarro is brought to you today by Fun New Board Game.

I’m going to step into the realm of immodesty and say I’m pretty proud of this cartoon. I like psychiatry cartoons and do a lot of them, but the thing I think is special about this one is the characters. I think I really nailed the look, posture, and facial expressions of each of these guys. The shrink looks as though he is holding back a combination of fear and incredulity as he struggles to remain professional. The patient looks average and harmless, except for the tenseness of his arms and hands as he clutches the axe. The stoic, far-off gaze adds to the sense of instability. I sometimes criticize myself for drawing too realistically, but in this case, the style works well. (more…)

Drowning Gates

Bizarro is brought to you today by Wisdom.

If you’re one of those readers who was confused by today’s cartoon, allow me to elucidate: Monty Python is the world’s greatest comedy troupe, beginning in England in the late 60s. One of their movies, “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” had a scene in a medieval English village during a plague, in which a couple of tattered peasants are wheeling a cart of dead bodies down a street shouting, “Bring out your dead!” What follows is funny as hell. The big boat on the top of the hill is the mythological ark from the story of Noah in the Old Testament. (more…)

Foosball Voting Guru

Bizarro is brought to you today by Spooky Stuff.

It seems our old friend, Harold Camping, is back in the news. He was the kooky old geezer who convinced so many discerning Americans last spring that he had figured out some secret code in the Bible and that the world was going to end on May 21st. I might have believed it if it had come from Nicolas Cage since he has proven his ability to figure out secret codes, but I didn’t find Harold very compelling. (more…)

Comedy in the Computer Age

(Magically make this cartoon bigger by clicking the word “someone!”)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Garden of Eden.

I’m a Mac guy, as virtually all professional artists are because Apple’s products are the standard in our industry, and so virtually all of my computer-related gags are about Apple products. The only time I’ve ever used a PC is when I check my email at my parent’s house and I always have to get my dad to remind me how to turn it on. (more…)

Bent Flying Devil

Bizarro is brought to you today by Simple Concepts.

This “stooped” cartoon got a range of mail from “Love it! Can I buy the original art?” to “I am offended by your mocking bone disease.” That disparity is fairly typical. Sorry to anyone who thought I was mocking them. I just thought it was a funny pun when you compare the word “stooped” with the usual T-shirt that says, “stupid.” Now, don’t get upset all over again, I am not saying that people with posture problems are stupid. Some of them are, some of them are not. Their posture has nothing to do with that. (more…)

OMG Meditation

Bizarro is brought to you today by Munch Racing.

I skipped posting this cartoon in the correct chronological sequence because I’m not sure of its merit. So many spoofs (I love that word, don’t know why) of Munch’s “Scream” have been done so I felt like this idea was a little trite. Still, with the use of the texting shorthand, (OMG means “Oh My God,” for those of you who have just awakened from a 40-year coma and are reading this while looking at a computer for the first time in your life), it is current and lots of people like that kind of stuff. This morning, I received a comment from a reader who wanted to see it on the blog so it could be shown to a friend, so here it is. I am nothing if not accommodating to my precious blog readers. (more…)

Prescription Giraffe Souls

(For a larger view of this cartoon, click the cop’s handcuffs.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creation.

If you like cartoons I have good news: here are three of them. If you don’t like cartoons, I have equally good news: there are literally dozens of other web sites that do not feature them. The choice is yours, my friend. (more…)

Clones, Babies, Honey, Mom

Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Treat Heat Prostration.

I have been remiss in my blogging responsibilities of late. Spending a week one block from Hell will do that to a person. I was in Texas and Oklahoma visiting family and experienced the daily 100+ degrees of what is being called “the worst heat wave in the history of this area this month.” Oklahoma isn’t actually Hell, but you can easily walk to it from there. Daily highs averaged around 106, the high temperature I experienced was 111 degrees on Saturday. At midnight, when the city was quiet and temps are still in the high 90s, you could hear Satan laughing as he watched reruns of Two and a Half Men. It was chilling, but not in a way that made it any cooler. (more…)

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