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Tower of Titters

Bizarro 02-22-15 hdr Bizarro 02-22-15 WEB1(Indulge your desire to embiggenate these cartoons by clicking them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Scaring a Child to Death.

It’s Oscar night tonight and this cartoon satirizes the Academy’s habit of showing a short video of the showbiz people who have died since the last Oscar ceremony. But I used an alternate meaning of the word “lost” and applied it to a famous fictional character who is perennially just that. That’s it. No secret meanings or messages. (I got asked if this was in reference to the Charlie Hebdo event.)
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bz panel 12-22-14bz strip 12-22-14bz panel 12-23-14bz strip 12-23-14bz panel 12-24-14bz strip 12-24-14bz panel 12-25-14bz strip 12-25-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Scary Christmas and Santa’s Package.

This week brings four holiday cartoons for your end-of-year enjoyment. I’m  not one who adheres to the religious celebration of Jesus but I’ve long been bothered by the tacky commercial-ization of Christmas in America. To my sensibilities it’s noisy and ugly no matter what the reason, but the fact that it is all supposedly in honor of one of the least materialistic characters in modern times makes it even more unpalatable.  I stopped participating in it back in the early 90s, announcing politely to my friends and family that I wouldn’t be sending cards or giving gifts anymore and did not expect any. On the increasingly rare occasion when I do get a gift, I accept graciously, of course. I’m not trying to be an ass about it, I just don’t want to play anymore. I’ve found it very liberating.
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Genesis Fat Brat Drugs

bz panel 12-04-14bz strip 12-04-14bz panel 12-05-14bz strip 12-05-14bz panel 12-06-14bz strip 12-06-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Man with Huge Wiener.

So I was thinking what would happen if Adam and Eve’s neighbors happened by just as they were standing naked together, talking to a snake and eating a piece of “forbidden” fruit. Now, I know in the classic version there were no neighbors because Adam and Eve were the first humans, but according to the same story, they had a couple of sons, Cain and Able, and one of them grew up and got married. So where did his bride come from? This leads me to believe that either this is a traditional myth used to teach a certain lesson, or incest was okay for a very long time (until there were enough people to find someone to mate with to whom you were not very closely related.)  Ew. I’m going to assume it is a myth.
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Psychic Longneck Cat Worship

bz panel 12-01-14bz strip 12-01-14bz panel 12-02-14bz strip 12-02-14bz panel 12-03-14bz strip 12-03-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Gun Lingo.

Does anyone out there have a modern solution to the password thing? You’re supposed to use different passwords for all your sites to reduce the possibility of having your identity stolen, but how do you remember them all? If you write them on a list, someone will steal the list and steal your life. I’ve taken to keeping a list but writing it in code. But sometimes I can’t remember what the code is. Gosh, life in the future can suck sometimes.
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DNA Hippo Can Bellbottoms

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Granny Sale.

 

It’s Saturday, so I’m posting the silliness exhibited in Bizarro since Thursday. If that confuses you, consult your local calendar expert. I have no specific comments to make about any of them. I know, it is rare.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REZARRO: From Bizarro of 1998, I offer you this other bit of foolishness that has deep, hidden meaning. Let me know if you figure out what it is so I’ll have a good answer should someone ask.bizarro981002WEB

Camper Bite Godzilla God

bz panel 09-11-14bz strip 09-11-14bz panel 09-12-14bz strip 09-12-14bz panel 09-13-14bz strip 09-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Cartoons Inspiring Sculpture.

In creating this first cartoon, I was well aware of the fact that there are plenty of women (and men) out there who really dig this kind of guy. To those folks I’d like to say that the point of this was not to say that this guy is wrong for everyone, just wrong for the gal at the bar. I have a lot of friends who are political, environmental, and/or animal rights activists and some of them have the habit of plastering their vehicles with tons of stickers about their beliefs, as well. I’m not sure how many people actually change their belief system based on the bumper stickers they read while at a red light, but I’m guessing it’s a fairly small percentage. Still, somehow we all like to tell the world what we believe or cherish in one way or another. I, for instance, enjoy wearing a T-shirt that says, “ONE OF MY CHILDREN HAS NEVER BEEN ARRESTED.” (Purchase a print of this cartoon.) (more…)

Zombie Burning Anger

bz panel 08-08-14bz strip 08-08-14bz panel 08-09-14bz strip 08-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Chocolate Family, Please.

These cartoons are a couple of my favorites of late. As tempting as it was to draw the zombies “running” the race, I’m happy that I chose this remote view instead, which leaves part of the gag to the reader’s imagination.

Attention young cartoonists: The reader’s imagination is key to a good gag.   (more…)

Family Demon Oil

mediocrityRulesMultiSM1Don’t miss your chance to wear this adorable shirt (as seen in a Bizarro comic) which tells the world you don’t approve. Only NINE days left, then it’s gone forever! Have a look.

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Getting Help.Bizarro 06-29-14 Hedr WEB

Family Circus is one of the most parodied cartoons in history. The simple wholesomeness of it is irresistible to sarcastic jackasses like me and there are a number of FC memes––like Billy’s habit of leaving dotted lines everywhere he walks––that make it “easy pickins”. I’ve done a handful in the past and thought I’d gotten it out of my system but then this idea occurred to me and I couldn’t resist. I’m friends with Jeff Keane, better known by FC readers as “Jeffy,” and was friends with his late father, the creator of FC, Bil Keane. They’ve always enjoyed FC spoofs, so I knew I was in safe waters when I submitted this one. I drew the comic exactly as Jeff would, who has taken over the strip for his dad, but I took the liberty of redecorating their house with five of my own Bizarro secret symbols. My favorite touch is PJ crying. Lord only knows what horrible sights he witnessed to upset him so.Bizarro 06-29-14 WEB (more…)

Crime 11 Awareness Geriatric

bz panel 06-26-14bz strip 06-26-14bz panel 06-27-14bz strip 06-27-14bz panel 06-28-14bz strip 06-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by House Pets.

What I like most about this armed robbery cartoon is imagining the robber saying all of this very matter-of-factly, the way someone might end a sentence with “yada, yada, yada”. Tons of people have real-life excuses for bad behavior but there is growing evidence that we don’t have nearly as much free choice as we think we do. Many scientists are beginning to suspect that given our specific DNA wiring, we are compelled to make the decisions we make––good, bad, and indifferent––and there is little we can do about it. Our brains simply tell us that this is the best course of action at the moment and we do it, thinking we made a “choice”. This notion is radical and counterintuitive, to say the least, but it might well be true. Oops…there goes another tenet of traditional human religions. (more…)

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