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Peter’s Price

bz panel 12-06-13bz strip 12-06-13bz panel 12-07-13bz strip 12-07-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Boy Toy.

Good Saturday to you, Jazz Pickles. As I write today from Bizarro International Headquarters in Los Angeles, it is raining and unreasonably cold outside, about 52 degrees F. I may have to move south for a few days until this unbearable weather goes back to the Arctic from which it came. (more…)

Theft Humor

bz panel 11-11-13bz panel 11-12-13 Bizarro is brought to you today by The Key to Your Future.

Things are heating up here at Bizarro International Headquarters. Not because I’m working on a January launch for my new podcast, not because a feature-length animated film of Bizarro is being produced by Steven Spielberg (no such film exists) but because I’m warming some bean dip on the stove. I’m feeling snacky. (more…)

Big Fat Scum Bear

bz panel 11-02-13bz strip 11-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Most Inspirational Art You May Ever See.

I’ve been a bad Jazz Pickle in Chief lately. I forgot to post this cartoon from last Saturday and I’m already two days behind on this week’s. Things have been chaotic and very busy at Bizarro International Headquarters lately. Please accept my apology, I hope it has not negatively affected your Jazz Pickle experience. (more…)

Flathead Funnies

bz panel 10-28-13bz strip 10-28-13bz panel 10-29-13bz strip 10-29-13Bizarro is brought to yourself today by Albert Frank Einstein.

Since I’m behind on the blog this week, this is another omnibus posting. Sorry about that, JPs.

It’s Halloween week here in Southern California so I’m using gags about scary monsters that I’ve been saving all year. My buddy, Dan McConnell thinks up a lot of monster gags so he may be disproportionately represented this week. Oh! Here’s one now; Frankenstein shoe shopping. McC may have gotten this idea from a gay Halloween parade, which are the best kinds of Halloween parades there are, in my heterosexual opinion. (more…)

Melodic Pig Sheep

bz panel 10-21-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Prophetic Graffiti.

Hello, my friends, it is good to be back. I’m away from Bizarro International Headquarters this week, thus my irregular and tardy blogging behavior. I will endeavor to get caught up and keep this steamship going as best I can but I’ve no idea how successful I’ll be. Here are a few to get us up to date. Some of the strip versions are not different enough to warrant posting, in case you’re wondering where they are. (more…)

Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell

bz panel 10-18-13bz strip 10-18-13Bizarro is branged to you today by Purse Snatcher.

Here’s a fun little doggy thing that my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh and I collaborated on. The basic idea is his but I changed the text a bit and added a dandy-looking (if I may say so myself) police dog to the mix. There is a person in my neighborhood who walks an ENORMOUS German Shepherd about the same time I walk my precious Jemima, and man, I can only imagine the fear that would strike your heart if this guy were on the end of a cop’s leash and was snarling at me. He’s the biggest German Shepherd I’ve ever seen and I’m thankful he’s docile. So is Jemima, who has a crush on him I think, even though he is no longer anatomically prepared for romance. (more…)

Damned If You Do

bz panel 10-12-13bz strip 10-12-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Road Less Traveled.

When I was a teenager, I attended a fundamentalist Bible church for a few years, during which time I fully believed in The Devil, the Antichrist, the mark of the beast–666, the Book of Revelations, the Second Coming, the rapture, and the whole end-of-the-world shebang. In my defense, I was a kid and this kind of delusional thinking was common in places like Tulsa, Oklahoma, where evangelists abound. It is amazing how much influence the people around you can have. When I think of it now, I shudder at my gullibility. But it does make a pretty dandy cartoon all these years later, courtesy of my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. You can see his original sketch and read his clever commentary here. If you believe in The Devil and the Second Coming, that’s fine, I hope we can still be friends. Whatever keeps your wig in place, I always say. (more…)

Awaken the Spirit

bz panel 10-04-13bz strip 10-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by And Whose Would Want To?

I like to keep an open mind and learn as much about life as possible, not for some end gain, but because it amuses my mind and I’ve found that keeping my mind occupied is one of the main tenets of a happy existence. I’ve long been interested in religion and the human compulsion for belief in a higher power and a grand scheme to life. Accordingly, on my continuing mission to learn new things about this topic, I’m going to go see “The Book of Mormon,” a musical by South Park creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I don’t know nearly as much about Mormonism as I’d like and I’m hoping this experience clears some things up for me. (more…)

Noah Logic

bz panel 09-30-13bz strip 09-30-13Bizarro is brought to you today by the Consequences of Tardiness

I’ve already gotten a few questions about this cartoon so I’ll ‘splain it. Clowns are famous for emerging in large numbers out of very tiny cars. So a clown Noah…

If you still don’t get it, blame my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, with whom I collaborated on this cartoon. Among the many wonderful things that Wayno and I share is a repulsion for actual clowns and an affinity for clown cartoons. He does his own ‘splainin’ about this here cartoon here.   Of the points he makes therein, my favorite is that an ark this size is just as likely to carry two of every species on earth as one of the size prescribed in the Bible. I smiled broadly. (more…)

Dozing Dummy

bz panel 08-22-13bz strip 08-22-13Bizarro is brought to you today by the Dangers of Reproduction.

Today’s gag is a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. Both Wayno and I have long been big fans of ventriloquist gags; there’s just something too delicious about having one’s hand up the backside of a look-alike puppet to ignore. (more…)

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