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Clean Fun

bz panel 02-06-14bz strip 02-06-14Bizarro is brought to you today by How to Dress When Meeting the Prime Minister of Canada.

 

I really love this gag and wish I’d written it. It actually came from my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. He can be a very clever man when properly medicated. It’s been in my cartoon bullpen warming up for months but I saved it until Chinese New Year, in case any of my readers have any idea when that is. (I had to look it up.) (more…)

Four Funnies

bz panel 01-29-14 bz panel 01-30-14 bz panel 01-31-14

Bizarro is brought to you today by Denim Abuse.

How would you like to enjoy a little light comedy with me? Okay, follow me.

 

Our first entry is from Dan Piraro of Los Angeles, in collaboration with successful TV comedy writer, Andy Cowan (Seinfeld, Cheers, Third Rock from the Sun, etc.)  Dan’s and Andy’s funny idea was if the murderous character from Alfred Hitchcock’s iconic “Psycho” were applying for a job to run the Bates Motel. Watch out for that shower, mister! (more…)

Three to Five Smiles

bz panel 01-20-14 bz panel 01-21-14 bz panel 01-22-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Three.

Since it is Wednesday and I have not yet posted any cartoons this week, you get three. Hooray, wunderbar, groovy.

 

 

1. If your cholesterol and weight are high your doctor may say he’d like to “get your numbers down.” But this patient is an ancient Roman so he uses the word “numerals” instead. That is supposed to be the joke. What happens next is the doctor is cleaved in half by a sword and his head is displayed on a pike in the town square. I didn’t include that in the gag because it’s gross. (more…)

Dog Bless

bz panel 01-16-14bz panel 01-17-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Do NOT Click on This Picture of a Half-Naked Woman.

Have you ever been crawling in the desert, wishing you had something to drink? Neither have I nor has anyone I’ve ever known or been related to, but apparently it happens a lot because there are tons of cartoons about it. We cartooner types love to find a new angle on the classic cartoon motifs so here’s one about that guy who crawls in the desert.  It reminds me a bit of a joke my dad told me when I was a kid. It was something about a guy going into a bar and seeing a bowl of peanuts with a sign that said “Peanuts, $1,000,000 each.” The guy tells the bartender those peanuts are never going to sell at that price and he replies, “I only need to sell one.” This is where I would laugh. (more…)

Red-nosed Reefer

bz panel 12-24-13bz strip 12-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Family Time!

Oh, my, it’s Christmas Eve! Here at Rancho Bizarro (where I live, as opposed to Bizarro International Headquarters, where I and my team of mutant camels create Bizarro products) we don’t put up a tree, but rather a green folding chair with all of the delightful holiday cards we’ve received this season taped to it. So far, there are three, but the mail hasn’t arrived yet today. Thanks to my parents, Kate and Michael, and John and Anne, who sent cards. Your unnecessary depletion of our planet’s precious, life-sustaining forests is much appreciated! (more…)

Various Approaches

bz panel 12-16-13bz strip 12-16-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Ginger Bread House.

 

 

My old buddy, Dan McConnell has been thinking about fish again and in so doing, came up with this gag idea for me. One can’t help feeling sorry for the poor, struggling fish who has been flushed out of the tank, until one realizes it is not a real fish at all, but a drawing made to look like a fish. This is just part of the magic of cartooning.bz panel 12-17-13bz strip 12-17-13 (more…)

Kooky

Bizarro 12-15-13 Hdr WEB(To enlarginatify today’s kartoon, klick on the katalytic konverter of any kar in the lot.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Hostages.

Good Sunday, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to Karl’s Klown Kars. Karl is the kind of guy whose motto is “Why use another letter where a K will do?” He has krazy kavalkade sales on his klown kars each Kristmas and serves kamomile wine koolers to his kustomers. (more…)

Peter’s Price

bz panel 12-06-13bz strip 12-06-13bz panel 12-07-13bz strip 12-07-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Boy Toy.

Good Saturday to you, Jazz Pickles. As I write today from Bizarro International Headquarters in Los Angeles, it is raining and unreasonably cold outside, about 52 degrees F. I may have to move south for a few days until this unbearable weather goes back to the Arctic from which it came. (more…)

Theft Humor

bz panel 11-11-13bz panel 11-12-13 Bizarro is brought to you today by The Key to Your Future.

Things are heating up here at Bizarro International Headquarters. Not because I’m working on a January launch for my new podcast, not because a feature-length animated film of Bizarro is being produced by Steven Spielberg (no such film exists) but because I’m warming some bean dip on the stove. I’m feeling snacky. (more…)

Big Fat Scum Bear

bz panel 11-02-13bz strip 11-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Most Inspirational Art You May Ever See.

I’ve been a bad Jazz Pickle in Chief lately. I forgot to post this cartoon from last Saturday and I’m already two days behind on this week’s. Things have been chaotic and very busy at Bizarro International Headquarters lately. Please accept my apology, I hope it has not negatively affected your Jazz Pickle experience. (more…)

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