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Worst Picnic EVER

Bizarro 07-07-13 WEB(For an embiggened view of this cartoon, click on the ant’s acidopore.)

Bizarro is brang to you today by I Only See Two.

Here’s a dandy collaboration between my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. To understand this gag, you must be familiar with 1950s sci-fi movies about the effects of radiation. One of them was called “Them” and it was terrifying if you’re afraid of large, mechanical ants. (more…)

Dog Blog

bz panel 06-11-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Prehistoric Dogs.

Many readers already know that I’m an ethical vegan, meaning that I’m vegan because I don’t believe in cruelty to animals. Vegans are routinely against hunting (in cultures where it is not necessary for survival) for obvious reasons. I am, too, but I must say that hunting is the least cruel way to put meat on your table. (Unless you’re doing it with a bow and arrow.) The suffering an animal experiences being shot in the wild is many times less than what happens to “food” animals in commercial production facilities and slaughterhouses. This is true even of “free range” and “cage free” chickens. This is an example of how FDA-approved “free range” chickens live in most cases. At least animals killed in the wild lived a natural life and died relatively suddenly. Still, I don’t hunt because I don’t feel comfortable killing things for fun.bz strip 06-11-13 (more…)

Slap Stick

bz panel 06-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Devil’s Food.

Coffee is a pretty old drink, I think, but I often wonder how humans got started in the morning before it was invented. Did they chew plants with a natural stimulative? Did they jump into a cold river first thing to have a pee and wake the hell up? Or did they wake up with such fear of being eaten or starving to death that they were immediately awake? Your theories are welcome. Perhaps there’s a cartoon idea in there somewhere. (more…)

Party People

bz panel 05-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Daily News.

Sorry for the absence, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been out of town for four days at our annual National Cartoonists Society’s convention. This year it was in Pittsburgh and we had a blast.  Here are the two cartoons I missed posting last week after I’d gone, plus a few highlights and pictures from the Reubens (as we call our yearly get-together.) (more…)

Omnibus Bizarro

bz panel 05-07-13Bizarro is brought to you by My New Desktop Image.

I’ve been so busy this week that I have neglected my blog. I have brought shame upon my entire village. I know that I can never adequately compensate my dozen-or-so readers who have searched in vain for a new Bizarro cartoon all week, but I can, at least, rectify the situation by posting the week’s adventures here and now. (more…)

Chordate Chords

Bizarro 05-05-13 WEB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(To see these beasts closer to life-size, click the Hippo’s belt buckle.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Rockin’ Non-Humans.

Until relatively recently, scientists believed that large mammals only participated in jazz and classical music. Then, in June of 2006, explorers from National Geographic happened across a heavy metal band in the African Congo. They weren’t particularly good, but then you don’t have to be to play heavy metal. Perhaps the strangest element of this band was not that they were breaking all previously held scientific beliefs about non-human mammal musicianship, but that the drummer was able to consistently show up on time to rehearsals and gigs, in spite of the fact that he had no visible means of traveling on land. This is doubly surprising because it is something that human drummers can rarely accomplish. (more…)

Lil’ Hootin’ Annie

Bizarro is made possible today by Sad Picture of Young Siamese Twin Owls.

I’ve gotta say that I love this gag and drawing it was a HOOT!  No, I really didn’t have to say that but I think I may have gotten a bad batch of prescription marijuana chocolate cookies because that pun was absolutely irresistible. (more…)

Lobby Buffoonery

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Strangers.

Clowns are another favorite and recurring theme for me as a cartoonist, even though I kind of hate them in real life. Even as a child I didn’t trust them. To me, it was a human in a disguise acting weird and trying to get me to like them. I couldn’t see the difference between them and other strangers with candy that my parents had warned me about. I’m still very uncomfortable around clowns and prefer to move away from them. (more…)

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