Page 1 of 212

Reaching Flying

(Each character within these cartoons awaits your click and the embiggenation that follows.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by O’Reilly Confesses.

The art from the title panel at the top of each of my posts is usually originally drawn for that title panel, but is sometimes taken from another older panel. The one above was taken from this cartoon about public nudity
(more…)

Fourteen Smiles

bizarro-10-02-16-hdrweb

(To enjoy the embiggenation of these images, click on any object with corners.)

bizarro-09-25-16-web

Bizarro is brought to you today by Odd Body Parts

Because I was out of town last week and did not post my week’s cartoons, this post includes TWO WEEKS OF CARTOONS!

Let us begin with last Sunday’s double-wide comedy cavalcade about a lab scientist doing some kind of experimenty thing that ends up switching his own head with that of a house cat’s. If you’ve ever had this happen, you know how funny (and embarrassing!) this can be. What’s more, the cartoon has 8 secret symbols, so click it, embiggen it, and commence counting.
(more…)

Bush Voyeurs

bizarro 09-04-16 hdrWEB

(Enjoy these cartoons more through the magic of embiggenation. Click any article of clothing within a cartoon to achieve it.)

Bizarro 09-04-16 clr WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Another Monkey Cartoon.

What happens when a super smart British lady crouches in the bushes for 56 years? We find out a lot about chimps and also ourselves, since we are their closest relatives, that’s what! Some of what she learned is that, like us, chimps sometimes commit random acts of violence against their own kind and that we, like them, if imprisoned in a zoo, sometimes go crazy and throw poop. Yes, I am intentionally writing this paragraph as a sixth-grade C student might write a school report.
(more…)

Big Bed Roll

Bizarro 01-31-16 hdrWEB11

(Click any image to make your embiggenation dreams come true.) 
Bizarro 01-31-16 WEB1

Bizarro is brought to you today by Remembrances.

I’m a big fan of memory foam mattresses. I’ve slept on all kinds of things and tend to have an achy back (because I am a male Homo sapiens past the age of 35) and memory foam is by far the best for me. They are very strange to try to pick up or move, however, because they are much heavier, floppier, and denser than a traditional mattress. Picking up a queen-size memory foam mattress is not unlike trying to move several adult human corpses stuffed into a gigantic sandwich bag. And the answer to your next question is yes.
(more…)

Mucous Defense System

Bizarro 12-27-15 HdrWEB

(If you wish to embiggenate any of these images, use your clicky device.)Bizarro 12-27-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by When Parking Lots Have No Lines Painted On Them.

Today’s cartoon is about a world in which the natives cover their nudity with boxes. You and I may think that naked tissue is not worth covering, but they consider it vulgar and who are we to judge? We consider the sight of human nipples to be a crime, but only if they are attached to a female. Doesn’t matter if they are attached to large breasts or ones as flat as sheetrock, if they’re attached to a female: illegal to expose in public. The Tissue People find this concept utterly ridiculous but then they’ve always tended to be a bit “judgy”.
(more…)

Civilized Saucers

Bizarro 12-07-14 hdr Bizarro 12-07-14 WEB(Treat yourself to a larger version of these images by clicking them!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Perfect Gift.

Have you ever felt the need to run away from “civilization” and live a more natural life? It seems to me that there is little about civilization that is civilized and little about humans that is humane. Accordingly, I have found myself rethinking my choices in this world. It’s not that civilization is treating me badly, it most certainly isn’t, especially on a worldwide scale. It’s more about getting in touch with what I am, not what I’ve become as the result of social pressure and historical tradition. In my recent readings about the origins of human societies, I’ve begun to see that we are far from what we should be, and my instincts tell me that I’d be much happier and live a more meaningful life if I were more true to my nature. That’s where my head’s been at lately and why I wrote this cartoon.
(more…)

Genesis Fat Brat Drugs

bz panel 12-04-14bz strip 12-04-14bz panel 12-05-14bz strip 12-05-14bz panel 12-06-14bz strip 12-06-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Man with Huge Wiener.

So I was thinking what would happen if Adam and Eve’s neighbors happened by just as they were standing naked together, talking to a snake and eating a piece of “forbidden” fruit. Now, I know in the classic version there were no neighbors because Adam and Eve were the first humans, but according to the same story, they had a couple of sons, Cain and Able, and one of them grew up and got married. So where did his bride come from? This leads me to believe that either this is a traditional myth used to teach a certain lesson, or incest was okay for a very long time (until there were enough people to find someone to mate with to whom you were not very closely related.)  Ew. I’m going to assume it is a myth.
(more…)

Evil Turkey Stuffing Aliens

bz panel 11-24-14bz strip 11-24-14bz panel 11-25-14bz strip 11-25-14bz panel 11-26-14bz strip 11-26-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Being Your Own Pet.

An email buddy of mine, Michael Lagace, sent me the idea of an “evil Knievel” twin and this is how I used it. I had a good time drawing Evel, as he was one of my childhood heroes. The kids in my neighborhood and I used to build ramps out of plywood and stacks of old tires or whatever we could get hold of to prop it up, then jump our bicycles over it at great speed. Yes, it was dangerous, and bones were broken. For all I know, Knievel may be the person for whom the ubiquitous statement, “Don’t try this at home!” was invented.
(more…)

Quintuple Cavalcade of Comedy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Alien.

bz panel 11-03-14bz strip 11-03-14

Monday: Dogs are funny. Dogs without electronics are just sad. (Get a print of this cartoon.)

bz panel 11-04-14bz strip 11-04-14

Tuesday: I was on a jury once for a one-day civil trial and it was boring as hell. I can imagine after a long trial wishing that someone would kill me. (Get a print of this cartoon.)
(more…)

Holiday Hangover

bz panel 07-28-14bz strip 07-28-14bz panel 07-29-14bz strip 07-29-14bz panel 07-30-14bz strip 07-30-14bz panel 07-31-14bz strip 07-31-14bz panel 08-01-14bz strip 08-01-14bz panel 08-02-14bz strip 08-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the 50 Foot Boy.

The adorable Olive Oyl and I were on vacation last week and though we have been back since Monday, I’ve had no time to post here because this past week has been a hectic whirlwind of chaos, mayhem, and shenanigans of all kinds as I try to get caught up. As anyone who’s ever had a vacation knows, getting back into the rhythm of “real life” after you’ve spent seven days drinking margaritas from noon till midnight is like trying to put a giraffe in a car without a sunroof. Yes, that is a clumsy analogy but I’ve been drinking tequila all day, every day for a week and my brain is soft. For anyone who cares, we had an amazing time and here’s proof. (more…)

Page 1 of 212