Pyramid Builders Union

(To embiggenate these images to “a million, a million and a half people on the mall,” click the invisible unicorn that dances on your imaginary rainbow.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternative Facts.

It was another supremely disturbing week in American politics and one wonders how long the pace of insanity can remain this furious. If you were under a rock last week and didn’t witness the ongoing carnival of spoiled brat billionaires trading your rights, ideals, and environment for cash in their pockets, definitely stay there. Do not come out. Under a rock is the only safe place to be right now.

Bush Voyeurs

bizarro 09-04-16 hdrWEB

(Enjoy these cartoons more through the magic of embiggenation. Click any article of clothing within a cartoon to achieve it.)

Bizarro 09-04-16 clr WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Another Monkey Cartoon.

What happens when a super smart British lady crouches in the bushes for 56 years? We find out a lot about chimps and also ourselves, since we are their closest relatives, that’s what! Some of what she learned is that, like us, chimps sometimes commit random acts of violence against their own kind and that we, like them, if imprisoned in a zoo, sometimes go crazy and throw poop. Yes, I am intentionally writing this paragraph as a sixth-grade C student might write a school report.

Uncommon Tuts

bz panel 01-09-14bz strip 01-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Convenience!

If you have trouble remembering spelling rules, imagine what it must have been like for the ancient Egyptians and their funny-picture-writing thing. (Why isn’t there a word for that?)

I confess that I used an old piece of art for this cartoon, which is something many syndicated cartoonists do all of the time but rarely admit. I don’t like to admit it, either, but I figure what the hell? This image was perfect for this gag, why redraw it slightly differently when I can save my time for more important things like repainting my hot air balloon to look like Darth Vader? (more…)