Falling Depth Arm Philosophy

bz panel 04-07-14bz strip 04-07-14bz panel 04-08-14bz panel 04-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by But I’m Vegan.


Happy early April, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been as busy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lately as I plan to escape Bizarro International Headquarters next week for a bit of time off. Yes, even super-human cartoonists need time off from comedy from time to time, so I’ll be going where nothing is ever funny: Oklahoma.

If that news makes you wonder if this might be a good time to break into my Los Angeles mansion, think again. I’ve got a full-time security team staying here while I’m away, led by my dog, Jemima. She’ll chew up your shoes while you’re not looking and you’ll be sorry you ever broke in. Plus, I have nothing worth stealing other than half (or less) of a bottle of good scotch.


BZ 10-29-04 RovePlatoWEBMy first cartoon this week is about modern philosophy. I don’t know the answer to this pressing question, and neither do you because, by definition, neither of us is there. Spooky.



My Tuesday cartoon is a collaboration with the talented illustrator, cartoonist, and my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. He waxes philosophical about this gag on his blog here.









My Wednesday gag (Hey! That’s today!) is not about philosophy, but is about the modern technological problems we humans face every day.







BIZOMBIES: In my archival gems section today, I’m posting a cartoon from election time in 2004. This is, to date, the only cartoon I’ve ever done that got me canceled in a given newspaper. You may not be surprised to find out that the newspaper that took such a bold move was one in Ft. Hood, Texas. It’s a military town which pops up in the national news from time to time, and did again last week.

Nutty Egyptian Greeks

Make this cartoon oh-so-bigger by clicking on the suitor’s teeth.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Valentine’s Day Gifts.

Because my cartoons are drawn and submitted many weeks before they appear in the paper, I often miss doing holiday cartoons. (But not always.) But this year, I actually have THREE Valentine’s Day-related cartoons running in the next three days. Perhaps it is because I am going through a divorce and V Day takes on a different tone. Maybe even a pallor. My cartoon for Valentine’s Day itself is pretty dark, albeit it completely true. But you’ll have to wait until Tuesday to see it.

My Egyptian patient cartoon is about dimensions. I did a cartoon way back in the late eighties about an Egyptian couple who kept falling down because they were flat, 2-dimensional people, like you see in hieroglyphs. If my filing system weren’t non-existent, I’d be able to show you that one now. But it is and I can’t, so let’s all just take this example of the crappy side of life in stride and move on.


This last cartoon from my “known associate,” Wayno,  is about a song by The Archies, a band nobody under 50 has heard of anymore. If memory serves, they were a one-hit wonder, put together by a marketing team who wanted to use the Archie comic book characters as a sales device. At the time, I think they had a Saturday morning cartoon show. Here’s the Wikipedia write up about them if you have nothing better to do than find out more about this forgettable moment in history. The following link is to a brilliantly-animated video of the song, BUT BEFORE YOU LISTEN TO IT let me warn you that if you are the least bit OCD about music (as am I,) this song will EAT YOUR BRAIN like a zombie until you replace it with another song. Hear the brain-eating song here at your own risk. At the time this song was popular, “bubblegum music” was a term used for this kind of saccharin, teen-age pop music. This gag is about that, and about the habit of the ancient Greeks to confuse “U”s with “V”s. What was that about?*


*Yes, I know what that was about and that the sign I linked to is Latin/Roman, not Greek.

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Help me afford to eat daily by buying Bizarro cartoons in books.

Just help me.