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Is Your Time Up?

AndyCowan

Happy Saturday, Jazz Pickles. My good buddy and regular collaborator over the past few years, Andy Cowan, has created a web series I want to tell you about.  As many of you know, Andy was a staff writer for Seinfeld, Cheers, Third Rock From The Sun, and other TV shows you’ve likely seen. Here he poses as a commentator on modern times and even uses a Bizarro we collaborated on in it. Hope you enjoy!
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Cats Tongues Dogs

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Australian Parking Lot.

People often say they prefer cats over dogs because they are cleaner. I suppose that’s true if you consider an animal covered in spit to be clean. I like cats and dogs, but when it comes to cleaning, I prefer dogs. With a dog, you can drop food on the floor and it gets cleaned up instantly. Even if a cat does eat the food you drop, they are just as likely to hop up on the couch and vomit it back up, so it’s much more of a moving service than a cleaning service. (Purchase a print of this cartoon.) (more…)

Jobs Imposter Indians Indians

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This first cartoon was inspired by the fact that I’ve got a couple of very smart, hardworking, talented, adult daughters who found it very difficult to find meaningful work when they graduated college. Of course, their degrees in 16th century transportation innovations of the Berbers, and Poetry of the Malagasy Republic may have something to do with it, but still. You’d think someone would want to hire these amazing young women that I personally groomed to be valuable contributors to the planet. Even so, I’m happy to report that both are living indoors and eating daily and that neither has ever worked for life-destroying corporations like McDonalds. (more…)

Seuss Goth Magic Santa Alien

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Willing Victims.

I’ve always been one to think of “ordinary” things objectively, which is why I’m fairly good at coming up with cartoons. As a kid, I often wondered why cow’s milk was fine but horse or dog or pig milk was revolting. Eventually, I became repulsed by cow’s milk, as well, and as it turns out it’s a pretty unhealthy thing for humans to consume, contrary to everything you’ve heard all your life. That kind of thinking (and research) led me to adopt a vegan diet over 12 years ago, which has greatly improved my health and happiness. That kind of thinking also led to this cartoon about eating famous Seuss characters. (more…)

Star Trek Godzilla Murder Complaint Nap

Bizarro 07-06-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 07-06-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Catzilla.

I have a long-time pen pal in Germany by the name of Michael Roth. He’s a writer and sometimes he writes cartoon ideas he’d like to see and every now and again I use one. He sent me some ideas about how outdated the “communicators” from the original Star Trek TV show would look to us now, and we finally settled on this treatment for it. If that’s not enough, I packed it with lots of background jokes, too, so click the image for a larger look-see. On the side of the pink truck is one of my Jazz Pickle, limited-edition T-shirts. If you missed this one, check out my most recent shirt,available for only TWO MORE DAYS! Makes a great gift for that person in your life who is addicted to lame TV shows or Justin Bieber. bz panel 07-03-14bz strip 07-03-14bz panel 07-04-14bz strip 07-04-14bz panel 07-05-14bz strip 07-05-14And don’t forget to drop by and say hello to Michael. (more…)

Vowel Whoa Blow Text Stumps

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Bizarro is brought to you today by WHAT?

 

This first cartoon is perhaps a bit of a “groaner” to some, but I still think it’s a clever gag so I went with it. I’m glad I did because I really love the woman’s face. Something about it makes me happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Old West’s version of the four-way stop is a recent favorite of mine. I love doing cartoons about the Old West and this is something I’d not seen before. I’m also driven crazy by other drivers who can’t figure out how four-way stops work. Or, it’s their turn and they wave everyone else by because they’re too timid to enter an intersection with others watching. (more…)

Undies Fish TV Laptop

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Latest Disguise Technology.

 

Ever wondered if Tarzan wore underwear? Neither had I until I did, and it resulted in this cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This barroom cartoon is a collaboration with my good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I’ve been told by a few readers that I got the symbol count wrong on this vertical version, it should be 7 instead of 6. The strip is wrong, too. I only count 4. Sometimes my counting ain’t so good, and neither is my editor’s. Wayno blathers eloquently about this cartoon and his original sketch here. (more…)

Aging Bones Spinning Bags

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Memorable Library Books From My Childhood.

Somewhere on the Interwebs is a deal where a guy did a time-lapse video of his daughter from birth to much later. That inspired this cartoon about Lisa Simpson, who is 24 years old this year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go to the doctor as infrequently as possible. I think it is a key to good health. Once every few years I pay him to stick his finger into my anus, though, not because I’m worried about my health but because I think it builds character. (more…)

French Ape Bird Billy

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Versatile Businesses of Yesteryear.

 

 

The first two cartoons shown here are some fun wordplay. The “Miss France” cartoon is reminiscent of some of the gags I’ve heard regarding the “Free Tibet” movement, wherein someone adds “with every purchase” to the end. I love that kind of gag. (more…)

Ape Creep Athlete Finger

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Bizarro is brought to you today by How Hair Grows.

I’ve been watching the new Cosmos series on Fox television recently and it’s really wonderful. I highly recommend it to anyone of any age with a working brain. They discuss evolution quite a bit, of course, since it is the way the entire universe more-or-less works, so this gag appealed to me. (more…)

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