Santa Ruminant Heathen Odorless Maneuver Amputee Webcam

(To see this cartoon as big as the star over the nativity scene, click the ball on Santa’s hat.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Kidnapping.

The bizarre and convoluted imagery of modern-day Christmas has fascinated me since I was old enough to notice it. (Sometime in my teens.) I’ve since learned that there are many and various ancient myths and holidays that were incorporated into it over the centuries, including the virgin birth (the birth of heroes to virgins, often with some kind of god as the father, are common in many pre-Christian mythologies), the king born of poverty (another common mythological element and likely the reason that to this day, Americans like to vote for a “down home” candidate for president, the sort you’d want to “have a beer with”), the Christmas tree, (a pagan symbol of the winter solstice), and Santa Claus (derived from the pre-Christian, Germanic god, Odin, who flew through the skies giving gifts at Yule [Dec 25] on an eight-legged horse, later morphed into eight reindeer.) Anyway, for the past couple of Christmases, I’ve had some fun combining modern elements of the holiday with the original nativity scene of Christian mythology. Here’s last year’s, in case you’ve forgotten. (more…)

Prescription Giraffe Souls

(For a larger view of this cartoon, click the cop’s handcuffs.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creation.

If you like cartoons I have good news: here are three of them. If you don’t like cartoons, I have equally good news: there are literally dozens of other web sites that do not feature them. The choice is yours, my friend. (more…)

Religion Again?

Bizarro is brought to you today by Keeping the Faith.

I hope everyone here in the U.S. had a lovely holiday weekend, and that everyone elsewhere had a lovely weekend in spite of its lack of holidayness. I did what I often do on holidays: stayed home and worked. The Bizarro factory is woefully understaffed and is required to keep cranking out silly drawings no matter the occasion, so if I’m not here supervising it just doesn’t get done. Thank goodness for the foreign orphans I hold captive in my basement working round the clock on this stuff or I’d never get it all done. Thanks, kids! (not that any of them can read this blog) (more…)

I Was Raptured

BIZARRO is brought to you today by Signs of the Times.

I meant to blog yesterday, but I couldn’t find the Internet connections here in Heaven until this morning. Yes, I was raptured on Saturday night, as predicted by Christian loose-cannon, Harold Camping. I know I posted Sunday saying I wasn’t but truth be told, I prepared that blog post on Saturday morning and scheduled it to be posted at midnight because I was going out of town for the weekend. I had no idea how far out of town I would end up. (more…)

Tulsa Roundup

Bizarro is brought to you today by FRIENDS IN HATS!!!

Dudes and dudettes, I’ve missed you terribly. I’ve been gone for a week and am suffering from blogdrawal. So here are a week’s worth of cartoons and some stories from my visit to the teeming town of Tulsa.

My secret reason for being in the old hometown was that I was recording music. I’ve been writing songs for the past couple of years and wanted to get them down in some professional fashion so a friend of mine, Tiny Tony “T” Smith, offered to do this for me. So we spent the week recording and got four songs down. I’ll be selling the disc on these very Internets at some point when the mixing is done. I hope one or two of you will give it a listen. I don’t expect to make a dime off of it, just want to share. (more…)