Two Much Fun

bz panel 12-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Future Shoe Technology.

I’ve been very lackadaisical (notice that this word’s spelling does not support the pronunciation LAX-adaisical) lately and I think it is the weather. It’s been cold, dark, and dreary here in SoCal this week. Of course, by local standards, that means highs in the mid 60s, lows in the low 50s (Fahrenheit) and slightly overcast. It is truly amazing how quickly one becomes spoiled by beautiful weather. I’ve been here two years and within three months, I became a complete Southern California Sissy. Anything less than 70 degrees Fahrenheit and sunny and I go into hibernation mode and deduct a little from my state taxes. I’m not paying California taxes to NOT have great weather. (more…)

Baby Snail Drown Balls Bra Slavery

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Babies.

Welcome to another weekly roundup of Bizarro cartoons. For this first cartoon, I’ve included the strip version as well as the usual panel version because I put some extra work into the cereal boxes on the shelf and wanted to share them. Lots of “icons” to search for in this one–not that they are hidden. Click on the cartoons to see them biggerer. (more…)

Velvet Rope Baby Manual

Bizarro is brought to you today by Things You Should Not Do at the Mall.

Good day to you, Jazz Pickles, how is your hangover? Mine is rocking my cranium like Bandfinger in 1978, after all of the wild and wuzzy celebrations for the 27th anniversary of Bizarro yesterday. Man, I was up well past midnight just boogying down and keeping it real. Today, it is still so real that I can’t get it to leave the kitchen. I’m not even sure what it is. (more…)

Non-Reader of the Month

We’ve already got a Bizarro Reader of the Month for July so by international law, I cannot name another. My hands are tied. But that does not stop me from designating a Bizarro NON-Reader of the Month. Congratulations, Ms. Vivienne Rose Something-or-other! (I assume this is a girl because of the name and also the bow in her hair, which is baby code for: vagina on board.) (more…)