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Snoopy Clog Rock Apple

Bizarro 05-18-14 hedrBizarro 05-18-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Unreasonable Request.

There’s been quite a lot about the NSA in the news lately and, even though I have given up the idea that a government or the law can be “fair,” the fact that our own government is spying on us is deplorable. Many great minds have said something like: You have to choose freedom or safety, you can’t have both.  Personally, I’d rather be more free and less safe, but that’s just me.











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From last Friday comes this gag which discloses one of Batman’s rare weaknesses.















And Saturday’s cartoon features a familiar scene from Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, with a modern twist. There’s probably no end to the number of “username and password” cartoons that a person could do but I’m going to try to stop now.










BYGONE BIZARRO: This cartoon from 1997 reminds us that even the Devil doesn’t take New York City lightly. I lived there for ten years and I don’t blame 08-19-97 Eden NYC

Eggs Duo Sticks Eggs

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Bizarro is brought to you by No Thanks, I’ve Already Got One.


My good buddy and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, wrote this gag for me because I have restless leg syndrome. My eggs are fine, though. Any way you look at it, this is a good yolk. (As in “joke”. Get it? ahahahahahah)

Wayno’s take on this crazy graphic shenanigan can be found at his blog, here.









I’m super stoked about this takeoff on Grant Wood’s famous “American Gothic” painting. I’m a painter at heart and so when I can do a realistic lampoon of a well-known piece of fine art, I’m having a party.

This one didn’t translate easily to the strip format so I added the closeup view for added looking-at fun.













I also enjoy a good poke at organized religion from time to time, so this stickman preacher gag appeals to me big time. If you’re a stickman, I suppose your biggest fear is that your creator will erase you. I’m anxious to see if I get any flak from fundamentalists who do not believe that humor is part of god’s plan. (And I am well aware that this humorless opinion is not held by ALL fundamentalists.)






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PALEOZARRO: If you’ve not had enough of corny egg puns, here’s another gleaming eggsample from 1997. I hope your day is sunny side up.

Four Funnies

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Denim Abuse.

How would you like to enjoy a little light comedy with me? Okay, follow me.


Our first entry is from Dan Piraro of Los Angeles, in collaboration with successful TV comedy writer, Andy Cowan (Seinfeld, Cheers, Third Rock from the Sun, etc.)  Dan’s and Andy’s funny idea was if the murderous character from Alfred Hitchcock’s iconic “Psycho” were applying for a job to run the Bates Motel. Watch out for that shower, mister!





Our second offering today is from another guy named Dan Piraro (what are the odds?)  Here, Mr. Piraro is imagining a lovely young woman breaking up with a person (man? woman?) who is dressed as a clown. No wonder she’s breaking up! Who wants to date someone who dresses like that on a date?! OMG!







Finally, we have another collaborative effort from yet another Dan Piraro (!!!) and someone with the unlikely name of Wayno. I have no idea what this one means but the gentlemen at the table are certainly dressed colorfully! Wayno has a few words to say about his part of this effort here on his daily blog.  Apparently he and Piraro have done 150 cartoons together in the past five years! Quite a milestone for these young bucks!






JAZZ PICKLE JAR: bz 03-03-03RealBatmanWEBAnd, from 2003, comes another take on the same question of what Batman might eat.

We hope you have enjoyed this little stroll down humor lane.


bz panel 09-20-13bz strip 09-20-13Bizarro is brought to you this time by Bat-stache.

I’m still behind on blog posts as you will note from the date of this cartoon and the fact that it is now four days later. But I shall persist and hopefully catch up sometime before the end of this week. Definitely before the end of this year, however.

I like the idea of Bruce Wayne naming everything he owns after himself as a prequel to his obsession with naming everything “Bat-something” after he began running around Gotham City in a dance belt and leotards. The bike in this cartoon is drawn from a bike I now own, which belonged to my father when he was a boy. It’s a 1948 Schwinn Streamliner. Except for a bit of rust (my own neglect) it’s in terrific shape. I rescued it from my grandparents’ garage in the late 80s and rode it regularly up until the late 90s when I retired it to hang on a wall in my living room.





Schwinn WEBHere’s the pic I took of it in my driveway as reference for this cartoon.  The handlebars are turned sideways so it fits against a wall. Does this bit of trivia interest anyone?






PREHISTARROS: Today’s veteran cartoon from 2003 has nothing to do with the topic above but it’s long been one of my faves and I thought it might tickle a pickle or two. Dyslexic Proctologist WEBWhen I first submitted this, there was some concern that some newspapers would choose not to run it because it (GASP!) refers to a part of the human anatomy that reminds us we are mammals, which, apparently, most humans hate to think about. It was not rejected by any of my client papers, however, but I did get a letter from the parent of a dyslexic child who thought it was out of line. I hope that dyslexia was the child’s only disability and he did not also inherit his mother’s lack of a sense of humor.

Feline Attraction

Bizarro 06-09-13 WEB(For an enormously larger view of this cartoon, click on any cat.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by What the…??

I love me some super hero satire and have done a metric ton of it in my career. In fact, I put out an entire book of Bizarro super hero cartoons which is still available at finer book outlets like this one. I recommend it for several reasons: you might laugh when reading it; it makes the perfect gift for friends and enemies alike; I need the money.

Here is a cartoon around the same theme that I did in 2010. You have to admit that Batman’s mask is pretty amazing. Even though these two are built around the same premise, bz 11-19-10 BatmanRobinI think the one above is sufficiently different to warrant revisiting the theme.

Bat Kent

Bizarro is brought to you today by Amazing Disguises.

I love this gag because even as a little boy I wondered why no one knew Clark Kent was Superman. I mean, he has the same exact voice and head of Clark Kent, but no glasses. Really? Is a pair of glasses frames with no lenses in them all it takes to fool the residents of Metropolis? Of course, what do you expect from a town whose criminals all dress up like they’re going to perform at a children’s birthday party.

And Clark has the worst taste in women ever. He’s got the hots for Lois Lane, who is so brain dead that she cannot see that Clark and Superman are the same guy. Do you really want to be involved with a woman that stupid, Clark? I mean after a while, what’s the challenge?

But there is another alternative; Lois may not have been stupid at all, she may just have had a tights fetish. She didn’t give two craps about Clark until he put on the costume.

So many questions for a young boy.

Planet-Trembling News! Oh My!












Hey, boys and girls! Here’s the big news you’ve all been waiting for! My new book, Bizarro Heroes, is finally out and available for purchase! That means you can hold a copy in your own hands and point your own eyes at it for hours of pure intellectual amusement. (If you’re a very slow reader. Average readers will get through it in less than an hour. Speed readers in 37.9 seconds.)

This book is perfect for holiday gifts or just for adding to your own collection of artifacts and heirlooms. It’s full of Bizarro cartoons that have to do with super heroes, comic book crime fighters, that kind of stuff. Some go all the way back to the late 1900s. A MUST for students of history, crime, and leotards alike. Order yours now!! Or wait a few minutes and then order one.

Please order one. It’s hard to make a living as a cartoonist these days.

YOU: Dan, can I order one by clicking this blue sentence? ME: Yes!!!!!!!   YOU:How about by clicking this red sentence instead? ME: You bet!!!!

And here’s a sample of the sort of tomfoolery you can expect inside.


Bizarro is brought to you today by The Coroner’s Assistant.

It’s a beautiful day in NYC so I’m going to leave the house. I don’t do this often or unadvisedly, but I think this is a good day to take a chance.

It isn’t well known that Bruce Wayne was into unicorns but it should not come as a surprise. He never married, had an English butler, and lived with a handsome young man who also never married. Of course he liked unicorns.

It is sad that when Bruce was choosing his costume, society was not tolerant of alternative sexual orientations and he felt he must go with something so strictly macho, but at least things are different now. It is too late to combine his themes, but perhaps he can adopt a second persona and alternate. Look for The Horny Avenger to be fighting super villains in your area in the near future.

This and many other Bizarro cartoons as prints or on products are here.

Cat Crush

Bizarro is brought to you today by My First TV Crush.

Yesterday, I got an email from Julie Newmar, the original Catwoman from the Batman TV series of the 60s. Reading it, my heart was all aflutter, even after all these years. I was only 9 years old when I first saw her and fell hopelessly under her spell. The message was strong if ambiguous, given my tender age: I was heterosexual and I wanted Julie Newmar to teach me what that meant. Not long after, I saw her as Stupefyin’ Jones in the musical version of Lil Abner. Yowza!

What if, as I stared lustfully at the TV in 1967, someone had whispered into my ear, “One day, she will email you,”? I would not have believed it! Nor would I have known what email was and I probably would have screamed like baby at the sight of a time traveler in my living room.

Ms. Newmar was not contacting me about my heterosexuality, however. It seems her favorite Bizarro cartoon is the one shown here with the cat selling the dog on ebay, and she wanted to know if she could get it on a T-shirt and a mug. After a quick search, I realized that this cartoon hadn’t been posted in our store so I had it done posthaste and sent the link to Julie. I hope she could smell my pheromones on the response. I bet she could.

I then remembered that a lot of people have mentioned this cartoon to me over the years so I wanted to share it with you along with this story today. As long as I’m in a sharing mood, below are the two latest Bizarro cartoons to get you caught up on this week’s monkeyshines.

If you have any memories of early TV crushes when you were growing up, let me hear about them. If, like me, you also had a crush on Julie Newmar, let’s hear about that, too. I like hearing things and things is just what you have to talk about!


All of this year’s Bizarro cartoons and then some, on dandy products you can hold in your mitts. Here.

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