Monkey Butt

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(You, too, can achieve cartoon embiggenation by clicking any of these images.)Bizarro 06-12-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bathroom I.D. Issues.

At various times in my adult life I have gone through periods where oddball children’s rhymes occur to me. I write them down with the intention of someday publishing a book of them but I’ve never gotten around to it. Here is one converted into a Sunday comic instead.
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BigLove

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(For greater embiggenation, click any kind of fur in any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by When Animals Think We’re Not Looking.

If you’ve ever lived with a person who habitually rescues animals, you get this cartoon. I think most people are compassionate to non-human animals but we each have our limits as to how much of our personal space and attention we’re willing to give to them. I used to hang out with a lot of animal rights activists (and lived with one for a while) whose homes were more like the petting zoo tent at the State Fair than what I would call a suitable human domicile. I have no doubt whatsoever that some of them would take in Bigfoot if the opportunity presented itself. No question. And they’d argue that BF was safer and happier as a prisoner of their small apartment than he would be in the wild.
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Hillbilly Physics

Bizarro 09-27-15 hdrWEB(To enlargenize the cartoon below, just click the city boy’s spleen.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Mannequins.Bizarro 09-27-15 WEBI’ll start today by saying I really love the title panel at top. It was cobbled out of a piece of an old Sunday cartoon of mine from ’08 which is one of my favorites. You can see it here. The “City Boy” cartoon itself is another of my favorite concepts. I actually published this idea several decades ago as a weekday cartoon but it was before cartoons were featured on the web and before I had learned to color my own work for print in Photoshop. SO –– I couldn’t resist redoing it with better art and color. I hope you enjoy the creepy goodness of the bottom-lit hillbillies.
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Escape Photo Evidence Beer

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Go To Mate.

 

One enduring question of evolution is why sea creatures began slithering onto land. In the first cartoon of this post, I present my theory.

 

 

 

 

 

My second cartoon today is another of my Bigfoot renditions, of which I’ve done many. A few people have asked me what this one means, exactly. If you are one of those who are wondering, I would ask if you’ve ever tried to get a good picture of Bigfoot. (more…)

Victors and Spoils

Bizarro 02-09-14 hedrBizarro 02-09-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Required Reading.

I have a friend who lives in Dallas, Texas or somewhere like that, named Brian Levy.  He sends me about 50 fragments of cartoon ideas every week. Most of them are just interesting musings, a few have inspired me to cartoon ideas that I’ve actually used. This one was brilliant, I thought, and it came just in time for the opening of the Olympics. As you can see, Bigfoot (Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman) has won gold, the Loch Ness Monster snagged the silver, and Waldo must go home with Bronze because although he is very good at hiding, he has actually been found by millions of children on a fairly regular basis. In my opinion, he could take a lesson from Bigfoot. (more…)

Probing Question

bz panel 08-07-13bz strip 08-07-13Bizarro am brang to you today by Dangerous Fruit.

My daughter, Krelspeth and her man (my boyfriend-in-law), Klarf, are visiting me this week in L.A. so I’m a bit behind on blog postings. I hope this has not caused any of my six readers undue anxiety.

We’ve had a fun week together and have not experienced a single alien probing, unlike our unfortunate farmer man in this cartoon. He is lucky, however, that he is about to be probed by the iProd 5, which is much slimmer and more comfortable than previous models. Of course, the old charger won’t work on it because it has a different size port, which is annoying. (more…)

Big Feet, Big…

bz panel 05-18-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Camel Toe.

I’m a big fan of Bigfoot cartoons. I am not a believer, as you may have guessed, but I have a friend who is an ardent member of the congregation. Whatever fills your taco shell, right?

The idea for this cartoon came from my good buddy, part-time amateur counselor, and The King of Wordplay, Cliff Harris. Few people love to parse the English language more than this dude. Cliff missed his calling (and didn’t have voicemail) so he became a pediatrician, thinking that was a foot doctor. (This confusion led to his interest in language.) After a few decades of treating sick children (with special attention to their feet) he retired and is now writing clever books for kids (which incorporate some very clever language stuff) though he is yet to be published in that arena. I’ve read them and they’re boffo! I predict big things for you, Cliff! Best of  luck and get back to your keyboard!

Oscar Turd Sex Feet Cheating Bra

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Academy Awards.

It’s been a lovely week here in Southern California, which is the biggest reason I live here. Sunny, 70+ degree weather in February is a drug you can’t buy from your local dealer. At least not that I’ve been able to find.

We start this week’s roundup with the cartoon I published the day after the Academy Awards. I wonder how many winners over the years have gotten so drunk at the after-parties that they ended up misplacing their statue. If anyone has heard a story about this, please share. (more…)

Abs of Mythological Proportions

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bizarro Big Foot.

The “Abominable Snowman” is a creature from the same family as Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and the Yeti. For thousands of years, people all over the world have claimed they have seen these giant, ape/human-like creatures in forests and mountains across the globe.

Science knows little about this ancient species but what we do know is this: They are faster and more cunning than any other species on earth because no matter how many people see them in however many countries, they always manage to escape before anyone can kill or even photograph one properly. The fact that a corpse or skeleton of one has never been found either, tells us they are either immortal or have their own funeral and burial system that hides their bodies more effectively than the impotent minds of humans can discover. (more…)