Peach Tweet Bug Neurosis

bz panel 10-20-14bz strip 10-20-14bz panel 10-21-14bz strip 10-21-14bz panel 10-22-14bz strip 10-22-14

Bizarro is brought to you today by Selfies.

 

Just for the record, I’m all for organic, locally-grown food. Our current food system is deadly to our health and that of the environment. I am against forcing children to lug backpacks weighing several hundred pounds to school, however.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a cute idea from my friend, Brian Levy. He claims he lives in Texas somewhere but I’ve never been to his house so I’m not sure if I should believe it. (more…)

Successful Inferior Parakeet Hostage

bz panel 10-13-14bz strip 10-13-14bz panel 10-14-14bz strip 10-14-14bz panel 10-15-14bz strip 10-15-14

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dressing For Success.

 

I’m not sure where this gentleman is from but wherever it is, he’s enviably successful. And, I want to live there. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My own personal adventures in therapy have yielded amazing results and by following this simple credo––Be an inferior version of someone better than you––I’ve become who I am today. Just think of me as a poor man’s Walt Disney. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.) (more…)

Camper Bite Godzilla God

bz panel 09-11-14bz strip 09-11-14bz panel 09-12-14bz strip 09-12-14bz panel 09-13-14bz strip 09-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Cartoons Inspiring Sculpture.

In creating this first cartoon, I was well aware of the fact that there are plenty of women (and men) out there who really dig this kind of guy. To those folks I’d like to say that the point of this was not to say that this guy is wrong for everyone, just wrong for the gal at the bar. I have a lot of friends who are political, environmental, and/or animal rights activists and some of them have the habit of plastering their vehicles with tons of stickers about their beliefs, as well. I’m not sure how many people actually change their belief system based on the bumper stickers they read while at a red light, but I’m guessing it’s a fairly small percentage. Still, somehow we all like to tell the world what we believe or cherish in one way or another. I, for instance, enjoy wearing a T-shirt that says, “ONE OF MY CHILDREN HAS NEVER BEEN ARRESTED.” (Purchase a print of this cartoon.) (more…)

Puke Snooze Drink Puke

bz panel 09-01-14bz strip 09-01-14bz panel 09-02-14bz strip 09-02-14bz panel 09-03-14bz strip 09-03-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Abe and Friends.

Since I was a child I’ve been fascinated by the fact that some animals feed their young by eating something, then regurgitating it into their mouth. First, let me say how happy I am that humans are not among the species with this charming habit, and secondly, perhaps we should be. Some babies have difficulty digesting certain kinds of foods and perhaps a little pre-digestion would be a good thing. If anyone decides to try this with their own baby, let me know how it turns out, and remember that I am not a doctor nor even a particularly well-educated person so don’t blame me if your baby is irreparably damaged by this experiment. (more…)

French Ape Bird Billy

bz panel 03-20-14bz panel 03-21-14bz strip 03-21-14bz panel 03-22-14bz 02-05-96 familycircusWEb

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Versatile Businesses of Yesteryear.

 

 

The first two cartoons shown here are some fun wordplay. The “Miss France” cartoon is reminiscent of some of the gags I’ve heard regarding the “Free Tibet” movement, wherein someone adds “with every purchase” to the end. I love that kind of gag. (more…)

Birds in the Hand

bz panel 09-17-13bz strip 09-17-13Bizarro is brought to you today by a Banner Ad That I Saw And Was Afraid To Click On So I Have No Idea What It Means.

I have a deep and abiding love of birds. I can’t stand to see them in cages and have on many occasions considered freeing them, knowing I would be risking arrest. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never quite had the courage to do it because I don’t want to end up in jail or court. (more…)

Vroom Bite Myth Drugs Death Poop

Bizarro is brought to you today by Logo Lust.

 

 

All week long I’ve been fielding questions from readers about this NASCAR cartoon. It’s simple, really: Drivers get paid to wear logos and if this guy was taller, he’d have room for more and make more money. By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what NASCAR stands for: Non-Articulate Snazzy-Car Appalachian Racecardriver. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #21

For a biggenated view of these images, click them with your clickerator.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Double Entendre Road.

Welcome to my blog, where you’ll see my daily cartoons and most of you will ignore the things I write about them. If you’re one of those who just pops in to read the cartoons and are skipping the hilarious prose that accompanies them, you’re missing some of the best parts: funny ideas and words like “juice,” “parachutes,” “careening,” and much more more. (more…)

Bent Flying Devil

Bizarro is brought to you today by Simple Concepts.

This “stooped” cartoon got a range of mail from “Love it! Can I buy the original art?” to “I am offended by your mocking bone disease.” That disparity is fairly typical. Sorry to anyone who thought I was mocking them. I just thought it was a funny pun when you compare the word “stooped” with the usual T-shirt that says, “stupid.” Now, don’t get upset all over again, I am not saying that people with posture problems are stupid. Some of them are, some of them are not. Their posture has nothing to do with that. (more…)