Thief Boobs Puppet

Bizarro is brought to you today by Career Opportunities.

When did criminals stop wearing those cute little taxi-driver caps, a Lone Ranger mask and a striped, long-sleeved T-shirt? Probably around the time banks stopped printing dollar signs on the sides of their money bags, but if I was going to commit a crime, I would definitely dress that way because people would never guess you were actually a criminal. They’d just think you were going to a costume party or something. Furthermore, if I was in jail and relegated to wearing one of those bright orange jumpsuits that say “PRISONER” or whatever across the back, I’d only escape on Halloween night. You could saunter down the street, even stop and chat with cops, and nobody would suspect a thing. A Halloween parade would be an excellent getaway vehicle. Also for a murderer covered with blood and carrying a chainsaw. (more…)

Last Post Before Certain Death

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hurricane Irene.

Bizarro Headquarters in Brooklyn is directly in the path of Hurricane Irene today. It should hit us around sunset tonight and last into tomorrow. Much of the city has been evacuated but BzH is on high-enough ground that we have been spared. So here we sit with flashlights, safety goggles, helmets, snorkle gear, fresh water, canned food, cigars, scotch, two laptops with fully-charged batteries¬† and a stack of DVDs. (more…)