Toll Phone Super Tramp

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pickup Artist.

It’s funny how men just buy stuff for women they find attractive. CHNW will be standing at a lunch counter waiting for a take-out order, which usually includes lunch for me, her husband, and she’ll strike up a conversation with some guy standing there waiting for his food, too, and when her bill comes, he’ll pay for it. She says, “thanks,” gathers her food and comes home. And of course, she never has to pay for a drink in a bar if she doesn’t want to. I guess I should send her car shopping sometime and see if she can score a new BMW. This doesn’t happen to men so I’ve no idea what it must be like. And I’ve never tried this approach on women myself, so I don’t know if it ever pays off. Perhaps there are women who will sleep with a stranger because he bought them something. I don’t think I’d be interested in a woman like that. I want a woman who is attracted to me for my thrift. (more…)

Planet-Trembling News! Oh My!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey, boys and girls! Here’s the big news you’ve all been waiting for! My new book, Bizarro Heroes, is finally out and available for purchase! That means you can hold a copy in your own hands and point your own eyes at it for hours of pure intellectual amusement. (If you’re a very slow reader. Average readers will get through it in less than an hour. Speed readers in 37.9 seconds.) (more…)