Your Pie Needs This

Jazz Pickles and useless peasants alike have been asking for a Bunny’s Pie Repair (as seen in the internationally syndicated cartoon feature, “Bizarro”! [But not on TV]) T-shirt so here it is!  You’ll want one for yourself and several more for gifts in the upcoming holiday season! (Unfortunately, holiday seasons are always upcoming.)

Comes in men’s and women’s styles in a few different colors and is a real conversation starter––guaranteed to shield your torso and shoulders from bird shit. Order NOW!

ONLY SIX DAYS LEFT, then this design will be retired forever!

Number 2 in a series of highly-collectible, wearable art! (If you collect them and wear them.)Bunny's 2 FINAL WEBBunny Shirts WEB 1


Falling Depth Arm Philosophy

bz panel 04-07-14bz strip 04-07-14bz panel 04-08-14bz panel 04-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by But I’m Vegan.


Happy early April, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been as busy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lately as I plan to escape Bizarro International Headquarters next week for a bit of time off. Yes, even super-human cartoonists need time off from comedy from time to time, so I’ll be going where nothing is ever funny: Oklahoma.

If that news makes you wonder if this might be a good time to break into my Los Angeles mansion, think again. I’ve got a full-time security team staying here while I’m away, led by my dog, Jemima. She’ll chew up your shoes while you’re not looking and you’ll be sorry you ever broke in. Plus, I have nothing worth stealing other than half (or less) of a bottle of good scotch.


BZ 10-29-04 RovePlatoWEBMy first cartoon this week is about modern philosophy. I don’t know the answer to this pressing question, and neither do you because, by definition, neither of us is there. Spooky.



My Tuesday cartoon is a collaboration with the talented illustrator, cartoonist, and my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. He waxes philosophical about this gag on his blog here.









My Wednesday gag (Hey! That’s today!) is not about philosophy, but is about the modern technological problems we humans face every day.







BIZOMBIES: In my archival gems section today, I’m posting a cartoon from election time in 2004. This is, to date, the only cartoon I’ve ever done that got me canceled in a given newspaper. You may not be surprised to find out that the newspaper that took such a bold move was one in Ft. Hood, Texas. It’s a military town which pops up in the national news from time to time, and did again last week.

Smiley Fez Icing Smut

bz panel 03-31-14bz strip 03-31-14bz panel 04-01-14bz strip 04-01-14bz panel 04-02-14bz strip 04-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by A Good Read.


As I’ve mentioned here before, I design and draw my cartoons to fit into the vertical “panel” format, then reposition that art and add to it as necessary for the horizontal “strip” version. So I think most of my gags work better as panels, but in this case, the strip works better because we get a better sense of the speeding taxi. In both frames, however, the hapless texter gets flattened.










In the past couple of years I included a small April Fools Day gag inside my usual cartoon by placing the symbol count (the tiny number above my signature that tells you how many pies, dynamites, eyeballs, aliens, bunnies, etc. are included in that cartoon) at a ridiculously high number. Like 457. This year I forgot to do that. My apologies.

That aside, I have a friend named  Edwin who has a collection of fezzes and wears them occasionally. I definitely thought of him while drawing this, though none of these characters look like him, he’ll be happy to know.








My Wednesday cartoon is a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. He’s an unusual sort of fellow who is known to fantasize about cookies. Here’s what he has to say today about this endeavor. 

This cartoon was problematic to convert to strip format because if I fit the whole thing in, you can’t see what he’s writing on his arm. I came up with what I think is a clever way to show the entire thing and get a closeup. Hope you agree. I’ll be using this technique in the future, I’m 06-01-01 Adult Books WEB









BYGONE BIZARRO: This cartoon from 2001 has nothing to do with the others posted today, I just thought it was fun.

Magic Chuckle Time

bz panel 02-15-14bz strip 02-15-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Easy At-Home Magic.

I remember the first time I visited a magic shop. I was about 8-years-old and was brought there by my grandfather. My cousin and older sister were with us as I recall, and we each were allowed to pick out one “trick.” The funny thing is that I don’t remember the trick I bought because the one my sister bought was the one that ended up fascinating all of our relatives when we got back home. I vividly remember being so jealous that she had made a better choice than I had.

Her trick was a plastic box with a removable lid, like a gift box for earrings, only square on all sides. Inside was a cube with a different color on each side. The way it worked was to give the box to someone else and ask them to put the cube into it, remembering the color on top, then replace the lid and hand it back to the “magician,” in this case, my sister. She would then put the box behind her back, shake it a little so you could hear the cube clacking inside, say some of the suggested banter, bring it back out and hold it in front of her face staring into it intensely, then announce the color they had chosen. Then she’d whip off the lid of the box and show that she was correct. Every single time. Nobody could figure out how she was doing it and the adults were laughing and squealing with amazement. I was so envious of her sudden ability to confuse adults (whom I had presumed knew everything) that I never forgot it. Meanwhile, I had gotten the equivalent of “The Pig Trick.” This early emotional tragedy ruined my career in magic and that’s why I became a cartoonist. And also because I didn’t like math.

bz 11-13-00 magic emailPREHISTARROS: Here’s a magical joke from 2000, when it seemed that all people were using email for was to forward incredibly lame jokes. 14 years later, people are still using email to forward terrible jokes, but also inaccurate political propaganda and “heart-warming,” patriotic photos of firefighters rescuing kittens and soldiers attaching a Christmas tree to a tank in Afghanistan.

What’s your least favorite thing to get in an email?

Don’t forget to download my new EP of non-comedy, from-the-heart, music. Available on iTunes, and also Amazon, and also other sites like that and also Spotify and other streaming services. It’s cheap and fun and an excellent way to pay me back in some tiny way for all the smiles I may have given you. Thanks!

Beasts of Love

bz panel 12-11-13bz strip 12-11-13Bizarro is brought to you today by I Didn’t Name This Album, I Only Linked To It.

Those living outside the Jazz Pickle Jar may think that Bunny’s Pie Repair has something to do with this gag but it doesn’t, really. It’s just a fun store to stand in front of when you’re part of a cartoon.

Our chimp friend here is about to make a terrible mistake, by the way. One should never offer to change in major ways in order to participate in a romantic relationship. Take it from me, an imaginary relationship expert, if you don’t love someone the way they are, you should find someone else.

This refers only to large changes, of course, like not being a jerk anymore or dying your hair. Small changes like not farting in front of dinner guests are acceptable requests. I would also warn against dating outside of your species.





REGURGITATED PICKLES: This old cartoon from 1999 reveals another person’s attempts at finding true love. What woman wouldn’t love a guy willing to sacrifice his dog just to meet her?bz 09-29-99