Dog Amputee Monster Dog

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dung Beetle.

I’m on vacation this week and keeping my blog posts short!

 

 

 

Thursday’s cartoon: My dog would do this. No doubt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday’s cartoon: My dog would not do this. Especially if the kid had snacks. She would shred homework, though, judging by the way she treats mail. (more…)

Dog Days Cat Nights

(To witness this cartoon getting bigified before your very eye(s), click on the lightbulb.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pet Connections.

I’ve lived with cats and with dogs and I like them both, but for very different reasons. Cats are much easier house guests since they don’t mind being left alone, they don’t have to be walked, and they don’t require too much attention. Unless you object to house guests who shred your furniture with their claws. Dogs are better if you want an excuse to get outside everyday whether it’s freezing cold and raining or not, if you like to play fetch and other games with non-human animals, and if you want a lot of one-on-one face time with someone who understands your  language but can’t speak a word of it. They both have their benefits and most people find life more enjoyable with a companion animal or twelve. (more…)

Thief Boobs Puppet

Bizarro is brought to you today by Career Opportunities.

When did criminals stop wearing those cute little taxi-driver caps, a Lone Ranger mask and a striped, long-sleeved T-shirt? Probably around the time banks stopped printing dollar signs on the sides of their money bags, but if I was going to commit a crime, I would definitely dress that way because people would never guess you were actually a criminal. They’d just think you were going to a costume party or something. Furthermore, if I was in jail and relegated to wearing one of those bright orange jumpsuits that say “PRISONER” or whatever across the back, I’d only escape on Halloween night. You could saunter down the street, even stop and chat with cops, and nobody would suspect a thing. A Halloween parade would be an excellent getaway vehicle. Also for a murderer covered with blood and carrying a chainsaw. (more…)