Three to Five Smiles

bz panel 01-20-14 bz panel 01-21-14 bz panel 01-22-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Three.

Since it is Wednesday and I have not yet posted any cartoons this week, you get three. Hooray, wunderbar, groovy.



1. If your cholesterol and weight are high your doctor may say he’d like to “get your numbers down.” But this patient is an ancient Roman so he uses the word “numerals” instead. That is supposed to be the joke. What happens next is the doctor is cleaved in half by a sword and his head is displayed on a pike in the town square. I didn’t include that in the gag because it’s gross.




2. A good friend of mine didn’t get this joke at first because he thought the dog at right was too good to be a doodle. Maybe he has a point, I don’t know. Because I can draw good, perhaps my attempt at a regular non-drawing person’s doodle is too well. You be the judge. This gag was a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. Here’s what he had to said about it.

(Note to grammar nazis: the errors in the previous paragraph are intentional because I sometimes find it amusing to talk this way.)






3. My last cartoon in today’s post is an idea by my good friend and cartoon colleague, Dan McConnell. He has a smutty mind, so naturally this cartoon is about pornography. The truth is that in societies where women are completely covered all the time, a glimpse of an ankle is, indeed, sexually arousing. Which means that in our current society where nothing is hidden, nothing is arousing. Damn.  Dan McConnell hangs out here.



PAZZ JICKLES: Since we’ve been chatting about covered women, here are a couple of burka gags I’ve done in the past. Though mandatory burka-wearing is not funny, I think these cartoons are.Bz 01-16-09 burka sneezeWEB bz Burqa Photo Op WEB

Restroom Sketch

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My buddy, Andy Cowan, (former writer for TV shows like Seinfeld, Third Rock From the Sun, and Cheers) and I got to riffing recently on restroom signs and came up with a gob of them. I culled the best of the batch and made this comic for you, which I hope will make you smile. I’ve done a few restroom sign cartoons before. I think it’s an amusing motif, although I got some hate mail for this one.

But it doesn’t make for very interesting art, so today, to fulfill your eye candy requirements, here is a random image from my sketchbook. The image below is the sort of thing I like to draw when I’m not drawing a gag. I just start drawing whatever comes to mind and keep going until the space is full. I’m always surprised where it ends up. Let me know if you’d like to see more of these.

As with all images on my blog, you can click it for a larger view.

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