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Barf Buffet

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(An embiggenation of this cartoon can be achieved by clicking it.)Bizarro 04-10-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Bagel People.

People often compare dogs and cats: which is smarter, which is the better pet, etc. In my opinion, dogs and cats are such dramatically different species that they really can’t be compared. Dogs are pack animals and want to please their leader, cats are solitary hunters and don’t recognize others as part of their group. Huge difference. Like trying to compare gorillas and squirrels––they both have fur, but beyond that, not much to compare.
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King Duane

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(For an embiggenated view, click the vaccuum cleaner.)Bizarro 11-22-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by The History of Thanksgiving (USA)

My beloved Olive Oyl and I were discussing the current terrorism/refugee crisis and it occurred to us that what we really need right now is an alien invasion to unite the people of Earth against a common foe. Of course, substituting one set of problems for another isn’t a very good solution, but it would be nice (for once) to see people realizing that there are bigger issues in the universe than whether or not everyone else is praying to the same imaginary magic person in the sky as they are.
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Moosen Up

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(Some have found the embiggenation process gratifying. Try it for yourself by clicking moose # 3)Bizarro 11-08-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Interpretive Math.

Most of the cartoons I do are meant simply to give the reader a smile or chuckle, but every now and then I like to do one that teaches a little-known historical fact. This is one such cartoon. I got this information from Republican presidential front-runner Ben Carson’s book, “Lightening Bolts of Knowledge from My Genius Brain”. I also learned from that book that the pyramids in ancient Egypt were used as grain silos and that the four classical elements of the ancient world were water, fire, unicorns, and pinecones. He learned these things in brain surgery school so they must be true.
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Parabolic Cartoonery

Before I get to this week’s cartoons, I’d like to tell you about this T-shirt campaign featuring one of my most popular cartoons. A portion of the proceeds benefit “Roots & Shoots,” a kid’s program at the Jane Goodall Institute. Only ONE WEEK LEFT in the campaign, then the shirt is gone for good! Thanks! Have a look now, then come back. And don’t hesitate to “like,” tweet, forward, etc. it so that other’s may find out about it, too!Bizarro12-30-07DevolutionWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Church Humor?Bizarro 08-02-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 08-02-15 WEBThis Sunday cartoon is a long and winding road and you’ll likely need to enlarge it to get the most out of it. Do that by clicking it. On my computer, I have to click it, then reload the page it goes to before it appears. No idea why; computer voodoo, I guess.
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Butts, Knock-Offs, Cosplay

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I thought this “Rear Admiral” gag was a harmless bit of slapstick fun but at least one reader who left a comment thought it was “absolutely classless especially around  veterans day.” (That person must REALLY hate Beetle Baily.)  I generally tend to think that no one is above having a bit of fun poked at them, especially those in authority. What do you think? Should military personnel be held sacred when it comes to cartoons?
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Cats Tongues Dogs

Bizarro 09-14-14 hdrWEB Bizarro 09-14-14 WEB(Get your FREE larger view of any of these images RIGHT NOW by clicking them!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Australian Parking Lot.

People often say they prefer cats over dogs because they are cleaner. I suppose that’s true if you consider an animal covered in spit to be clean. I like cats and dogs, but when it comes to cleaning, I prefer dogs. With a dog, you can drop food on the floor and it gets cleaned up instantly. Even if a cat does eat the food you drop, they are just as likely to hop up on the couch and vomit it back up, so it’s much more of a moving service than a cleaning service. (Purchase a print of this cartoon.) (more…)

Undies Fish TV Laptop

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Latest Disguise Technology.

 

Ever wondered if Tarzan wore underwear? Neither had I until I did, and it resulted in this cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This barroom cartoon is a collaboration with my good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I’ve been told by a few readers that I got the symbol count wrong on this vertical version, it should be 7 instead of 6. The strip is wrong, too. I only count 4. Sometimes my counting ain’t so good, and neither is my editor’s. Wayno blathers eloquently about this cartoon and his original sketch here. (more…)

Watch Kitty Tax Guano

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Bizarro is brought to you today by One-Stop Shopping For Female Psycho Killers.

My girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and I are going to a “half-Halloween” party in a week. That’s where you pick a weekend about in the middle between two Halloweens, and a group of you show up at a designated bar or whatever, wearing costumes. It’s based on the theory that Halloween is too much fun to only have once a year. (more…)

Fly By

bz panel 02-01-14bz strip 02-01-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternative Marriages.

Since California is a big agricultural state and much of that is fruit, they’re really picky about letting people into the state with food items that might carry some kind of insect that is bad for local crops. I guess fruit flies are the ones I’ve heard most about. They don’t thoroughly search every car so I don’t know how well it works, but it does cause a traffic jam at the borders, which is always a good time to check your email and Twitter feed while you wait. (more…)

Pyro Pussy

bz panel 01-15-14bz strip 01-15-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Middle Children Taste Best.

My favorite thing about this cartoon is the way the characters are drawn. The hipster girl and her trendy, hipster, nerd boyfriend/husband have a certain look that I recognize and that’s always gratifying as an artist. I often have no particular kind of person in mind when I begin to draw a character but somehow it begins to head in a certain direction and I follow it. (more…)

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