Joining Twins

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Visit To A Town In Arkansas Called Flippin.Bizarro 07-12-15 hdr Bizarro 07-12-15 WEBHere’s an odd bit of punctuation fun. If you’re not familiar with punctuation and have never (or rarely) used it, it’s those little dots and dashes that sometime squeeze themselves in between words or hover magically above them. In this case, the little dash after the last “E” in Siamese is called a “comma” and changes the meaning of the caption. Without it, it would not be referring to a cat, which it is, but would instead lead one to believe I had used an outdated, non-PC term for conjoined twins. Which I have not. In spite of the impression your 7th grade English teacher gave you, punctuation can be fun.bz panel 07-06-15Way back last Monday I published this cartoon about mice. Part of what’s funny about it is that mice don’t wear clothes or enter the medical profession. bz panel 07-07-15At the risk of sounding immodest, I really like this little bait-and-switch optical illusion cartoon or whatever you want to call it. I think tiny people inside of desk intercoms are funny.bz panel 07-08-15For the most part, critics have been kind to me over the years. One key, of course, is that critics don’t critique cartoonists very often. The worst thing about critics, however, is that they feel they MUST say something negative, even in a positive review, to avoid the impression that they are ass-kissing. Lousy ones do little more than trash people.bz panel 07-09-15This witch/cop cartoon is another grammar-related thing, I guess. Some people think wordplay is lowbrow but I like it under certain circumstance. bz panel 07-10-15If you’ve ever had a chicken bone in your throat, this cartoon needs no explanation.bz panel 07-11-15This cartoon came to me as I was thinking about the story of Little Red Riding Hood. In the original story, as I recall, the wolf eats the grandma, nearly eats LRRH, then a woodsman shows up, cuts open the wolf and pulls the grandma out of its stomach thus saving her life. I think this is a terrible story to tell children because it inaccurately teaches them that wolves do not chew their food.
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Fear of Farm Girls

Bizarro 05-17-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Alex Trebek Sighting.

I made a mistake in today’s Sunday comic and I didn’t catch it until it was too late to stop it from getting into print. I’ve posted the corrected version here but the inferior one is in papers all over the world today. In the version with the screw-up, the caption reads, “Farm Bizarro 05-17-15 WEBgirls, scarecrows and tin men, oh my!” I guess I was writing it correctly, instead of mimicking the way the similar line was said in the film, with the extra “and” between “farm girls” and “scarecrows”. Arrrrggghh. I know it’s no big deal but it bugs me and I wish I’d caught it sooner. On the bright side, there are still seven secret symbols to look for, which you can find more easily by clicking the image and making it larger.
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Hostile Chickens

bizarro 10-19-14 hdr Bizarro 10-19-14 WEB(Don’t be a goober, click these images for larger views.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Common European Photo Ops.

Those of you who have traveled as young adults are likely familiar with hostels. I stayed in a few when I was doing my backpacking-through-Europe trip when I was 20 years old. Lest you mistake me for a privileged white kid, I hasten to add that I paid for every cent of that trip, which lasted nearly four months when I ran out of money and flew back to the U.S. on the stand-by ticket I had in my shoe. The trip was a life-changing experience and one I’ve recommended to every person of that age group I’ve spoken to since. I was never beaten up in a hostel, as this cartoon depicts, but the similarity between the words “hostel” and “hostile” always gave me pause. My trip was full of youthful adventure, however, and I was a victim of robbery by a public official in Palermo and nearly got arrested in Paris––but those are stories for another time. (more…)

Shark Eggs Topless

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Breakthrough in Hair Replacement Technology.

 

Yes, that’s a shark vacuuming the carpet in the middle of the night because sharks are the species that everyone thinks of as having to keep moving to stay alive. Something about forcing water through their gills or dodging bill collectors, I can’t remember which. (more…)